Hi Everybody!
It's been a while since we last consulted Mr. Know-It-All on your very important inquiries. And since we have quite a few questions to answer this month, let's get started right away!
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
Why do people who play their music loudly in cars so the entire street can hear them, always have such bad taste in music?
- Dan
Dear Dan,
Because, anyone who is ignorant enough to blast their music that loudly in the first place is also too ignorant to realize that they are listening to crap.
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
So, who DID shoot the deputy?
- Heather
Dear Heather,
This is a common point of confusion. The fact is, nobody shot the deputy. The song is simply saying that he shot the sheriff, but he didn't shoot the deputy... or the bailiff... or anybody else for that matter. Oswald attempted a similar tactic when he proclaimed that he didn't shoot Lyndon B. Johnson.
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
Why do my dogs have to smell a dozen places before they finally go to the bathroom? What are they looking for and why are they so picky??
- Elizabeth
Dear Elizabeth,
Easy... dogs, like boys and men as well, are simply looking for a new place to pee that hasn't been peed on already. Incidentally, we do the smell thing too - but only when the door is closed. We do have our dignity you know.
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
Why do I have a bunch of Tupperware lids that don't match any of the containers? Is it just that I'm weird, or is there something else going on here?
- Theresa
Dear Theresa,
Good catch! You're wise to suspect something here. Here's what's going on:
In an effort to create more product demand, Tupperware consultants are now undergoing secret ninja training which teaches them how to break into your house undetected - at which point they swap out your lids with unmatched ones. They then invite you to their parties knowing full well you need more stuff, at which time they guilt you into hosting your own party against your will. It's all part of the Tupper-ninja training.
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
What is the Hokey Pokey all about? Bonus question: Where's Waldo?
- Gale
Dear Gale,
This was a tough one so I consulted the American Heritage Dictionary on both Hokey and Pokey. Here's what it said:
hok·ey (hō'kē)
adj. hok·i·er, hok·i·est Slang
1. Mawkishly sentimental; corny.
2. Noticeably contrived; artificial.
po·key 1 also po·ky (pō'kē)
n. pl. po·keys also po·kies Slang
A jail or prison.
Therefore, if you put them both together and you turn yourself around, you get - a mawkishly sentimental prison - which ironically is where Waldo is as well.
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
Why does the rain fall from up above?
- Mooselet
Dear Mooselet,
No wonder you don't know this - you're from Australia. Rain only falls from up above north of the equator. I understand why you're confused about this.
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
What is my name? Do I have a boyfriend if so what is his name?
- Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
I'm sorry about your amnesia. Unfortunately you used to have a boyfriend - until you bumped your head and forgot who you were - at which point he withdrew all your savings and moved to Bermuda with your sister.
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
I'm still kinda in love with my ex boyfriend and he has a new girlfriend. What do I do?
- Hopeless
Dear Hopeless,
Please, I understand you have short-term memory loss, but I just finished explaining this. It's over, move on.
Why do people in my dorm go out into the hall for cell phone privacy? That seems a little backwards to me.
- Dashofpanache
Dear Dashofpanache,
People only do that when they want to say horribly mean things about their roommates and don't want to hurt...
Umm, I mean I have no idea. Well then, seems like you stumped me on this one!
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
Who decides what professions need to be tipped? Should I have tipped the woman who gave me a mammogram the other day? How much? What's the proper amount for a good boob smash?
- Mom Thumb
Dear Mom Thumb,
That depends on whether the smasher has gone above and beyond the call of duty. Did she refill your beverage without you having to ask? Did she not make you hang your butt out the back of a non-closing paper gown? But most importantly, did she deliver the smash within 30 minutes? Because if she didn't, the next one is free you know.
Phew! Once again it appears Mr. Know-It-All has answered all your questions - at least for now. Therefore, it's time to leave some new questions for next time.
What would YOU like to ask Mr. Know-It-All?
Stumble it!


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Nobody asked me or gave me the chance to vote on it, but 

I'm feeling good because 




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Not fortunate because this product can help with a problem I have, but fortunate because of the way it's pronounced. Here's how it sounds:
If cutting all the fat kids in half is good news, I'd hate the hear the bad news!



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The fastest version I've heard so far was at T.G.I. Friday's...
So feel free to wish Charli a hearty round of congratulations. She's wanted to work for this company for a long time and is very excited to be part of the team.
It's a simple concept really... when you make a turn onto a road with multiple lanes, you move from the lane you're in to the associated lane on the road you're turning on to.





God help any of you who have teenage boys... who have discovered Axe body spray.

One of my bestest blogger friends, Jess - from
All I can say is, IT'S ABOUT FRIGGEN TIME! (tap tap tap)
3. I eat a bowl of this cereal with no added sugar every night before bed. It satisfies my munchie craving and isn't as bad as the crap I
public radio. This severely limits my "hipness" factor in that I haven't heard any new music in like 10 years. People often think just because I'm a musician, they can come to me for advice on who's hot in the music industry. They're wrong.








