Wednesday, November 30, 2005

"Bill-isms" - Part II

My dad's name is Bill.

In "Bill-isms" - Part I, I mentioned a few of the sayings he is so famous for, at least within my family's immediate circle of siblings and friends. Here are a few more of these gems:

"Don't make a project out of it"
Used whenever Bill feels you're taking too long with a task or making it more complicated than it needs to be.

"Free advice is usually what you pay for it"
I hope Bill knows the irony of this one - since he dispenses more free advice than anyone out there.

"Oil and grease are cheaper than parts"
Bill is an excellent mechanic and will always get your engine or appliance running. Cost? This advice.

"Illegal is a sick bird"
Expect to hear this pun (ill eagle) anytime the conversion contains the word illegal. Wasn't funny 40 years ago either.

"Lefty-loosey, Righty-tighty"
A classic memory tool to help you remember which way to turn your wrench. For as much as I hate to admit it, I have to use it often. It works, try it.

"Leg of a bench!"
"Son of a bitch!"

"Take what you want, but eat what you take"
Another very classic comment made whilst filling our plates at the dinner table. During the Depression Era, of course, food was NEVER wasted.

and finally...

"Lois"
My mother's name. Pronounced lo'www-is with an almost sung-like quality, as if calling across a great river valley to the maiden on the other side - however, with the expectation that this maiden will swim across and bring him a sandwich.


6 comments:

cindy said...

1. need a ride lois?
(a universal comment (in our family) made by the spouse who wants to leave the party or gathering.It's followed by horn honking.
2."popsicle!"
(dad, sitting on his recliner, looking up into the air, thinking of food he wants mom to bring to him. Like he's sitting in front of the board at McDonnalds!)

cindy said...

3)on the other hand, she wore a glove.
(he's deep in thought.He comes out of his deep thought, with really nothing to say. Never at a loss for words, he makes the above comment!)
4)here, hold this..
(ALWAYS followed by a shock to the person who was holding it!)Next comment from him,"o.k., it works"

cindy said...

4)Go in the bathroom and get "whatever" ie: a book, his glasses, something...
(BIG mistake..bad smell! He would laugh his head off.)
5)Tough to get good help around here.
(Mom's had surgery and cant make him a sandwich!He takes two pieces of bread,puts a hunk of cheese in the middle,folds it in half and eats the whole thing at once!

Harmonica Man said...

Bill actually said #3 last night! Looks like we need a "Bill-isms" Part III, and I've got a few more too. Thanks for the great ideas!

Anonymous said...

Jeff, Linda Kooiman, former next door neighbor to Bill and Lois. I love these. I just laughed at "on the other hand, she wore a glove." That NEVER failed to send my kids into gales of laughter. The kids and I may have some Bill-isms of our own to send you!

Harmonica Man said...

Excellent, the more the better. I smell a Part IV coming up! Thanks for stopping by Linda.