We need a new greeting.
No seriously, because for some stupid reason, EVERYONE lately has defaulted their face-to-face greeting to some lame form of either - "How are you?", "How's it going?" or "How ya doing?" And I'm not exaggerating. In fact, it's gotten so bad that I think I've started to inadvertently avoid people just so I don't have to engage in this ridiculous conversation:
Me: "Hey Ted, how ya doing'?"
Ted: "Good, how are you?"
Me: "Great, thanks!"
Me: "So, what have you been up to?"
Ted: "Not much, how 'bout you?"
Me: "Oh - not too much"
Me and Ted: (acknowledging nod)
See? Kind of scary, isn't it? So now, just for fun, try to get through tomorrow and NOT have this conversation with someone. It's not as easy as it sounds. In fact, I think we should all be allowed, no I take that back - required to be slapped, just for starting one of these dialogs. Imagine this instead:
Me: "Hey Ted, how ya...SLAP!"
Me: "Thank you Ted, I needed that. Boy, you have quite the bitch-slap! I'll bet you've used that one a few times before! Ha ha"
Ted: "That's for sure! You should have seen the clown I decked yesterday...etc, etc"
See - already a productive conversation in progress and it only took a few seconds. Sound crazy? Maybe - but not as crazy as we all sound right now, every day, every time we run into someone we know!