Friday, December 02, 2005


I tried to clean my garage today but I couldn't. I think I have Garage Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is a phenomenon whereas a person attempts to clean his garage, but is unable to finish the job because he gets too distracted in the cleaning process to finish the job. In this case I had a full four hours to pick up my tools, put away the toys and rollerblades, untangle and roll up the miles of extension cords and sweep the floor. Plenty of time.

Think I got it done? Not a chance. So here's why I think I have GADD:

Example 1: In my attempt to put away my cordless drill I remember that one of my shelves had a broken support and needed to be replaced. No problem, I thought, I'll just quick put up a new one. But, not before I haul out the chop saw, find a piece of 2x4 and cut it to the proper length and angle. Time spent - 30 minutes.

Example 2: While trying to put away the six pairs of roller blades piled up in a corner I have a better idea. Why not build a new shelf along the front wall with rollerblade-sized compartments on it so the kids will have a convenient place to put them when they're done? Time spent - 2 hours.

Example 3: One of the extension cords that needed rolling up was still attached to the weed whacker - the same weed whacker that quit working the last time I used it. Surely this couldn't be put away broken now could it?
Time spent attempting to fix it, without success - 1 1/2 hours.

Example 4: In a desperate attempt to at least get the floor swept before I had to go, I notice that the broom handle is loose. No problem, all I need to do is quick drive a screw through the threaded part of the head so it will stay put for good.
Time spent splitting the threaded part so the whole broom is no longer any good - 1 minute.

Tools put away - none, in fact even more tools are now sitting on my bench.
Roller blades put away - all of them!
Extension cords rolled up - none.
Floor swept - not.

I'll take credit for the rollerblade shelf and call that a success. But for the rest of it...



Anonymous said...

You never learned to put tools away at home either!!! Guess who.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Or as you would say Dad, "dumb kid - I teach you everything I know and you don't know nothin!"