Sunday, January 22, 2006

Someone Needs a Fix

Wussy. That's what yesterday's snow was - wussy.

Here I wake up yesterday all excited because the forecast people say we're in a "winter weather advisory" and it's going to snow 5-8 inches. Perfect! I just spent $100 last week getting my old snowblower in competition shape and I was ready to fire it up!

Prior to that, the piece of crap wouldn't stay running for more than 2 minutes and puked snow out the chute in pathetic little blobs. Now it was fine-tuned, running in peak performance and ready to throw snow clear over the fence and into the neighbor's yard where it belongs. Yep, I was ready for the big stuff. Bring it on bitch, I can take it!

So when it finally hit and was over (by noon no less), we had nothing more than a cute little dusting of about an inch and a half. Bwaaa, that was barely going to warm up the engine. But still I was determined to use it.
At lunch time I told my wife "leave it." I was going to blow the property when I got home from work. Even if I had to use it four more times this winter, that still averaged out to $20 a shot. So, I reasoned, the more I used it the cheaper that repair was going to be.

"But hon," she said, "there's only a dusting out there. I can sweep that with a broom for pete's sake." "NO!" I insisted, "I'll take care of it."

And so I did. And last night when I got home I fired it up. Ohhhh, how the engine purred. How the 10 horsepower Ariens just stood there shaking in the driveway - like a junkie waiting for its fix.
"Snow, I need snow!" it was begging me.
"I'm sorry my little friend, but this is all I got. It's hard to get the good stuff around here."
"All right, I'll take it. Just let me have it!!!"

Slowly I engaged the impeller and put it in gear and headed down the driveway. First pass - 24 inches of clean cement. I was in heaven. Then I turned around and headed back up the driveway for my second pass when suddenly I notice there's nothing coming out of the chute. What the hell? ARRRRRG - please don't let it be true!

But alas it was. Apparently the stupid belt broke. I'm guessing it was defective or put on wrong or too small. Either that or it was simply responding to the signal I must emit to all things mechanical to break down at the least convenient moment.

So without a snowblower to clear my driveway and sidewalks I was stuck doing it the old fashioned way - with a shovel. What really pisses me off though is not the fact that it broke down, but that I wasted a perfectly good opportunity...

...to have my wife do it instead.

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