I took my daughter to see Disney's The Shaggy Dog this weekend. It was very cute and a great movie for a 9 year-old girl. I enjoyed the 2 hours of being mildly entertained while relaxing. Of course on the way out of the theater, my daughter attempted another one of her famous, "Awww, I sure wish we had a dog" guilt assaults with both barrels. Fortunately I had on my sweet-little-girl-resistant body armor.
I've never really been a big dog fan. My kids have tried (unsuccessfully) over the years to try to get me to "bite," if you will, but I've never been sold on the idea.
I guess I don't mind other people's dogs. I don't, however, particularly like being licked or sniffed or humped - at least by dogs. But I've never been interested in owning one myself. Here's just a few reasons why:
- I'm lazy. I'm not the kind of person who wants to take a dog outside every other day or so to go to the bathroom.
- I like my freedom. I don't want to have to find someone to watch my dog if I want to go somewhere - and you have to pay to put them in one of those doggie prison kennel places.
- I'm cheap. Dogs are expensive! Between vet bills and food alone it's like having another kid. I've got enough kids.
- They stink. Last I heard, dogs won't take a shower or brush their teeth. Yuck.
- Most dogs are dumb. Dog's have one response to EVERYTHING, and that is to bark. Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark. (I say most dogs are dumb because I have met a few dogs that don't bark at everything, but they're few and far between)
- They're messy. Forgive me, but I don't like having to have to dodge land mines in my yard. And because I'm lazy, I don't want to have to clean them up. Therefore I'm left with having to dodge them. Either that or let the dog run loose to crap in other people's yards.
- They're caustic. In addition to being messy, their mess will actually kill your lawn. Ever see a yard full of dead spots? When I was a kid my friend's dog actually killed their pine tree because it peed on it every day.
There would be one dog I might consider however. And that's because he is smart, well trained, not stinky, healthy, and cleans up after himself. But above all that, he is