Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Enuff Kewt Names Already!

I need to get my hair cut again. (yeah I know - What hair? Ha ha)

I've finally found a stylist who cuts my hair the way I like it - and when you're a "receder" such as myself, that's not exactly as easy as it sounds. Normally they cut the top just too-short enough so that it kind of sticks up all pointy and uncontrollable. Then my only choices are to either "go with it" or plaster it down with water and hair spray so I look like a middle-aged Alfalfa.


I just have one question about hair salons. Who decided that it was OK for them to incorporate sorry puns and phonetically-abused spelling into their shop names? This seems to be a problem of near biblical proportions. In fact, right here in little old St. Cloud we have stylists with names like Kwik Kutz, The Hairitage Shoppe and Shear Perfection.

Gak!

With the exception of photocopying services (we have a Kopy Kats here as well), I can't think of any other businesses who try so hard to sound so - clever? What is it about these kinds of places (both image-modifying services perhaps?)

So why is it you don't find these kinds of names in other businesses or services?

Because, who would go to a bank called The Safe Bet or a Medical Center called Kwality Kure or a church named Sir Saves-a-lot? See what I mean?

My feeling is, if you're gonna screw around with your name, you might as well do it right. So to help out, I've created my very own list of...

Top 10 Worst Hair Salon Names

1. Shear Nonsense
2. De Hair Do Do, De Hair Da Da
3. Snip 'n Stitch
4. The Clip Dip
5. Barber Anne's
6. Hairy Krishna
7. Kutz Klutz
8. The Locks Mess Monsters
9. Oops I Cropped My Pants
(may also apply to scrapbooking stores)

and finally, the number 10 worst name for a hair salon...

10. Hair Kommandant

And just a little word to the wise: If you ever run across a shop with one of these hair-brained names, I caution you to enter at your own risk.

11 comments:

Jess Riley said...

This was HILARIOUS!!! "Kwality Kure." "Hairy Krishna." Hahahaha!!!

I also love "The Curl up and Dye," which I've seen around. Or maybe in a movie. I think we've got a "Splitting Hares" in our town, with a rabbit on the sign. *shudder*

Dave2 said...

Ohhh... here I thought I was going to be all special and tell you about "Curl Up and Dye" but Jess beat me to it!

I think it was from the Julie Brown movie "Earth Girls Are Easy" with Geena Davis, Jim Carrey, Damon Wayons, and Jeff Goldblum (wow... what a cast!).

Anonymous said...

E"clips-Cutting Edge-Great Clips-Master Cuts-Hair Zone-Hair Affair-Mop Shop-Language of Hair- Hair Port you can add to your list--

Mooselet said...

My own hair salon is called "First Edition", which sounds more like a bookstore. But there you are.

A quick glimpse through my local Yellow Pages shows this isn't confined to America. Just in my local area we've got the "Clip N Tip", the bizarrely named "Do Yer Nut", "In-Fewz", "Kutloose", "Making Waves", "Shear Technique", and "Vix Snipz".

Mooselet said...

... when I say "my own" I mean the one I go to for my haircuts, not one I actually own. Badly constructed sentance there on my part.

Chanakin said...

Sounds like you've gone to "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow."


I'll.. show... myself.... out.....

Harmonica Man said...

Oh my God, what have I started!

These are all very painful. So very sad and painful.

Schnozz said...

Curl Up and Dye is featured in The Blues Brothers, I know that. Not sure about the other movies ... it's so good it's probably been used more than once.

As for the churches, I don't go to church now, but I sure would with a name like Sir Saves-a-lot. I can't say no to that. I just can't.

Linda said...

My inappropriate name is not a salon. A friend of ours cut off the end of his finger in a dirt bike accident and the doctor who stitched it up was . . .are you ready? Dr. Stubbs. True story.

Funkster said...

We are missing the “hole” other industry with very “punney” names. It is the local tavern. (get it? I used the word “hole instead of “whole and punney instead of the word funny). There is the famous Do Drop Inn and Stop Inn. In Minnesota we have the Go For Bar (the Minnesota gophers). The Bar None, Bar B Q, the Hooch Hut. Jeff can open a bar called Rhythm and Brews

yellojkt said...

I've noticed the bad pun hair salons myself, but your list is just scary. Let's hope no one is stealing these ideas.