Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Venus and Mars

Last week my 13 year-old came home from school with the biggest smile we'd seen on his face in years. Apparently that day he had gathered up the nerve to ask a girl from his school "out" and to his delight she said "yes."

That was last week.

Yesterday I noticed he was acting a little down and for some reason it occurred to me to ask him about his girlfriend.

Me: "So, how's it going with your new sweetie?"

Him: "Um... we kinda broke up today."

Me: "Whoa - that's too bad."

(silence for awhile)

Me: "You ok?"

Him: "Yeah, I'm cool."

Me: "Cool."

When my wife came home I told her about our talk.

Wife: "That's it? That was your entire conversation?"


Me: "Uh huh."

Wife: "So what happened? How did they break up? Who broke up with who? How's he doing? Is he hurt badly?"

Me: "He said he was fine."

Wife: "Oh for pete's sake, you men! Where is he? Where's my son?!!"

And with that my wife was gone. It seems I had failed to gather enough vital information to satisfy her maternal instinct to protect her child from all things brokenhearted.

An hour later she came down from his bedroom.

Me: "So how's he doing?"

Wife: "I think he's gonna be ok."

Funny - it took my wife one hour to find out what I found out in one minute.

Women.

7 comments:

Suburban Turmoil said...

Aww, man. That sucks.

I just had to console my 15-year-old after she found out this morniing she did not make the spring play. This is the girl who is planning to be a Hollywood actress when she grows up. Uh oh.

Chanakin said...

It has nothing to do with maternal instincts or protection - women are simply genetically disposed to require every little saucy detail.

When faced with the unknown, the female brain releases Haftaknownin into the bloodstream. This quickly stimulates the Gossip Gland (which is above and to the left of the Matchmaking Gland)which in turn secretes Tellmeallnin that basically flips off the switch in the Mindyourownbusiness Gene.

If not controlled, it can lead to Ben and Jerry Syndrome, which I understand causes sudden weight gain in most.

Harmonica Man said...

Chanakin - I had no idea you were such an expert on female biology. The one you left out is the hormone that gets triggered when women read something sarcastic you've written about them. I believe it's called sleepalonen.

Dave2 said...

Yet another example of the utterly bizarre differences between men and women and how they approach the same situation. I've long since given up being frustrated by it, and have moved on to be fascinated instead.

Mooselet said...

The poor guy. Tell him that girl doesn't know what she's missing!

Chanakin is right - women just aren't satisfied with so little information. Although I've only dealt with my own daughter as my son is too young (11) to date in any sense of the word, and she simply has to give me all the details whether I want them or not. Usually I do...

It seems that you and your son had the guy conversation down pat. Congrats.

Chanakin said...

You are right about sleepalonen. Although there is no long-term treatment for it, I understand diamonds may offer temporary relief.

Linda said...

It's a mom thing. You carry a child inside for nine months, sheltering and protecting it, and then you have to release it into the world of girls/guyswhoaregoingtobreakupwithyou (and that's the LEAST of your worries). It's called hurtmychildandilltakeyououtanonin.