Monday, July 24, 2006

MEME-OLOGY

From the Get to Know Your Blogger series, here's a popluar meme that has been making the rounds lately:

GRUB-OLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice?

Not just a single dressing, but always a mix of either French and 1000 Island or French and Ranch, which I like to call Franch.

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?

I like all the big-ass sandwiches that Arby’s has. But damn, they’re big-ass expensive!

What is your favorite sit down restaurant?

Hopefully I’m allowed to sit in every restaurant. Color me boring, but I like the variety of the food trough buffet style of place, as long as the food is good. Our local Country Buffet does a pretty good job.I suppose a lot of my current food decisions are also based on my diet restrictions.

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?

20%. 18% if my wife is not with me.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?

Well, as a bedtime snack I’ve been having the same type of cereal (Special K 9g) every night for 2 years and haven’t gotten sick of it yet. As a main meal, it would probably be something fairly boring like a nice club sandwich.

Name three foods you detest above all others.

Liver, Brussels sprouts and onions, but I don’t hate onions as much as they hate me.

What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?

Probably the cup saucer. Oh, they didn’t mean “dish” literally? Sorry. Then I would have to say Almond chicken, but vegetable egg rolls come in a close second.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?

Hawaiian: Canadian bacon and pineapple. But I also add mushrooms. Yum.

What do you like to put on your toast?

Peanut butter. Duh.

What is your favorite type of gum?

Have been chewing Wrigley’s Extra - Classic Bubble Gum flavor for as long as I can remember. But now I have to quit chewing it in public because I caught myself on tape in the background of Austin’s city council broadcast and I looked like a cow chewing all 4 stomach’s worth of cud at the same time. Lovely.

TECH-OLOGY

Number of contacts in your cell phone?

10, but I just got it two years ago so I’m still working on it.

Number of contacts in your email address book?

A lot. I have no idea and I don’t feel like counting them.

What is your wallpaper on your computer?

Believe it or not my work laptop simply has the color grey. Hmm, I wonder what that says about how I feel about my job?

What is your screensaver on your computer?

My wife’s scrapbooking retreat business. We used this laptop at her last expo and had pictures of her retreat as a slide show and I never removed them. It makes for interesting conversations at my customer visits.

Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?

Probably, but do babies in bathtubs count?

How many land line phones do you have in your house?

3. Two cordless and one plugged-in one in our bedroom. Guess which phone is the only one we can find when a call comes in?

How many televisions are in your house?

3.

What kitchen appliance do you use the least?

If you ask my wife, she’ll tell you I use the dishwasher the least. For food preparation it’s probably the food processor because it takes too long to haul everything out and assemble it. Plus, I’ve lost the instructions. I use the refrigerator a lot though!

What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most?

Public radio almost exclusively. And YES, I AM A MEMBER!

How many sex toys do you own that require batteries?

What the hell is a sex toy?

BI-OLOGY

What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?

My ass - that I swear is fabulous but which everyone else says I don’t have. But then this question was not asked to everyone else so therefore I’m going to stick with my original answer.

Are you right handed or left handed?

Right, but I have developed some autonomy due to my lifetime of playing keyboards.

Do you like your smile?

When I’ve seen candid pictures of me smiling naturally I think it looks nice, but I can never seem to fake a natural smile in a posed picture.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?

Surgically I had a suspicious mole removed. It was starting to burrow into places it didn’t belong.

Would you like to?

I have another mole on the bottom of my foot that I don’t appreciate so I may have that removed some day.

Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?

Read this. Nuff said.

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?

Definitely smell – especially chemicals. My wife has to wait until I’m out of the house to break open most cleaning fluids.

When was the last time you had a cavity?

Whew, for a second I thought this question was going to end in the word “search!” I haven’t had a fresh cavity for years, but I’m pretty sure I’m funding my dentist’s retirement fund on my old ones.

What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?

My band equipment. I liked it a lot better in the old days when we had roadies who did all the grunt work.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?

No, but being 6’4” I’ve seen stars more than once!

MISC-OLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?

No way no how. That would totally stress me out for the rest of the remaining time I had due to worrying so much about my "expiration date." I like going through life blissfully thinking I'm going to live to be 100.

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?

At this time I think it would have been cool to have been named Oscar after my grandfather, but I would have hated it as a kid.

How do you express your artistic side?

Easy – The Receders, a new duet spin-off of The Receders, and this blog.

What color do you think you look best in?

Plaid.

How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?

I can’t even process that question.

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?

I don’t think so. But I once ate a habanero pepper. There’s no way that should be considered a food item.

If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?

Who writes these things?

How often do you go to church?

Every Sunday, and then about 200 times during lent.

Have you ever saved someone’s life?

I helped keep a car accident victim alive until the helicopter arrived, but sadly he didn’t make it.

Has someone ever saved yours?

Fortunately it hasn’t been necessary.

DARE-OLOGY

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?

No problem.

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?

Not.

Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000?

Only if I was married to him.

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?

Sorry, I use them all.

Would you never blog again for $50,000?

Sure nuff!

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?

Sure, but I’d hate to see the magazine that would publish it! Oh wait, I forgot about Fabulous Ass.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?

That’s a tough one. If I could be assured that it wouldn’t do any damage and I had a way to squelch the pain I probably would.

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?

No price high enough for that.

Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?

Easy, since there’s hardly anything to shave as it is.

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?

In a heartbeat. I can hardly stand to watch television for free.

14 comments:

Linda said...

I recently put three small slices of a habanero pepper on Jessica's boyfriend's hamburger. He called her at 7:30 the next morning and said, "Your mother is the devil." And he actually loves me. Well, he did. . . .

Onetallmomma said...

Not only was that, hands down, no lie, that funniest post I have read in an age but I now know you a whole lot better.

And I still like you!

Jenny said...

I love it! Also...Franch? Totally rocks.

Dave2 said...

Try ordering a cheese sandwich at Arby's... you can't. You have to order a meat sandwich and have them take off the meat... AND PAY THE SAME PRICE AS A MEAT SANDWICH!! An expensive thing just gets worse.

Waya said...

Thanks for letting us know you much better. That was funny about the chewing gum part.

but Momma said...

Do you have to carry a calculator for that tip, you roast beef eating cheapskate?

I kiid, I kiid. Go put your dress on. :)

Mooselet said...

I love the combo dressing thing - I'm going to try it sometime, especially as I love both French and Ranch dressing!

How in the world do you calculate an 18% tip? I have problems with division by 5's.

Blog-o-licious said...

Um, that's all!

Harmonica Man said...

linda - Seriously, those things are evil. My lips burned for an hour after I ate that stupid thing.

tall momma - That's the great thing about memes. ALWAYS tmi!

jenny - You ain't a kiddin it does.

dave - If only these places understood you vegetarians. I'm pretty sure they're missing the boat on a big opportunity!

waya - Chomp chomp chomp chomp thanks chomp chomp.

but momma - No, you simply calculate 20%, then take the square root of that, then multiply that by the next prime number and subtract by PI. 18% every time!

mooselet - Yeah, but in Australia it's not French and Ranch, it's Ranch and French. Just saying.

blog-o-licious - I know. These stupid memes are getting longer every day! Whoever writes these things has WAY too much time on their hands.

Funkster said...

Name three foods you detest above all others.
Liver, Brussels sprouts and onions, but I don’t hate onions as much as they hate me.”
What is the difference between Brussels sprouts and Boogers?
Answerer: I kid won’t eat Brussels sprouts!
You just lucky you didn’t have to eat Lutefisk with grandma Niskala and uncle Royal every Christmas.

wendy boucher said...

Arby's: yuck.
Buffets of any sort: double yuck.

All the rest looks good. I think we can be friends. Hurray for public radio members!

Harmonica Man said...

funkster - Mmmm Lutefisk. My very favorite kind of lye-soaked steamed slime! It just doesn't get any better than that.

wendy - The first question was about fast food. How good can the answer be? The buffet answer wouldn't appeal to most people, but since I have to eat such a restricted diet, the variety of "healthy" choices available in that environment is very appealing to me.

yellojkt said...

This is the second time I've hit this meme today. The questions are pretty random. My favorite salad dressing is the bleu cheese that Wendy's had when they had a salad bar. No expensive restaurant has ever had a bleu cheese that good.

Bugwit Homilies said...

I used to live 'up nort', too ya know. Well, not up nort if you LIVE up nort, but up nort to all the other people, ya know.

Anyhoo, I was told that this is the favorite cheer of the Brainerd High School Cheer team:

Ve vant a touchdown, rah, rah, rah
Lutefisk and lefsa, ya, ya, ya!