Thursday, July 06, 2006

What, me worry?

As far as I'm concerned, Alfred E. Neuman had the perfect take on life.

Being the "Type B" personality I claim to be, I don't actually worry about many things in life. But when I do worry about something, it's a pretty good bet that it's going to be something fairly petty and stupid.

For example, most people worry about the bigger things such as not having enough money or how their kids will turn out. I, on the other hand, have somehow been lucky enough to have been blessed with a smaller stress bucket, but still full of odd little worry-bits that I can take out and chew on every now and then.

Here's a few of the things you might find me worrying about from day to day:

Late fees
- Like any children, my kids love to rent videos, especially on the weekends when they have sleepovers with their friends. But the minute the idea is mentioned, I immediately begin to hope that they're going to want to rent an older movie, which stands a much better chance of being returned on time because it'll be a 7-day rental. But not, God forbid, a new release - which will be DUE TOMORROW!

Even worse? Library books. For some stupid reason the library gives you like 4 weeks to return a book (uh, perhaps so you'll have time to read it I suppose?) First of all, someone would have to actually remember that we have library books in the house after that much time - which isn't likely. And if, by some miracle, someone did remember? Finding the Holy Grail would be easier.

Of course I wouldn't even worry about it if they didn't charge like $5.00 for every minute you're late. I know one family who changed their identity and moved to a different state because of their library late fee.

My tools - Just the sight of my kids and their friends heading for my tool bench makes me cringe. I have a lot of nice tools. But right now my Craftsman 86 pc socket set is missing its 3/8" socket - and I feel incomplete. It's very simple: kids + my tools = stress.

Punctuality - I inherited this trait from my dad. For every event we need to be on time for, I will calculate the latest amount of time we can still be at home and not be late. Then, about 15 minutes before we have to leave I begin the impatience dance. If we actually pass the zero hour I become a complete basket case. But Dad has the gall to take it that final step - honking the horn in the driveway. I've considered it, but know it would be my last act as a married man. And then who would do my laundry?

Large Public Events - This weekend my wife suggested we go to the Taste of Minnesota in St. Paul, a HUGE festival on Harriet Island. I knew the second she saw it in the newspaper that we would end up going, because she absolutely loves those kinds of things. I, on the other hand, would rather go to the dentist than have to negotiate traffic and parking in downtown St. Paul, walk a mile with backpacks and fold-up chairs and push my way through 20,000 people all dying to spin the wheel for a free Taco Bell coupon.

But of course, once I actually get there and do all these things I always have a great time and don't want to leave. It's just the thought of doing it that stresses me out.

So that's the kind of crap I worry about. Nothing big, nothing serious.

Car engine blows up? No problem. We'll carpool until we can afford another one.
Roof leaks? No problem. Get a bucket.
Wife wants to go to the State Fair? ACK!!!

Now that's a problem!


Anonymous said...

you really should take up drinking.

Anonymous said...

Oh, you are so funny. And we are like two peas in a pod. I don't worry about the big things either. But if I can't find a book in the bookcase that I KNOW was there the last time I looked. Or we are still running late even after all of my careful planning, well, I stress out. And large public gatherings...forget it. Maybe it's the idea of taking the kids into a crowd and then one of them having to use the potty and then not being able to find a public catch my drift.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

chanakin - That would be too stressful going to a crowded liquor store and trying to decide what to buy and whether or not I should take paper or plastic.

OTM - If you're really lucky you can wait in line to use one of those porta-potties that 10,000 people have just finished using. No stress there!

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute, your wife does your laundry? DO NOT LET MY HUBBY KNOW THAT THIS EVER HAPPENS!!!

Anonymous said...

4 weeks to return library books. Oh, they totally know what they're doing. After 4 weeks at my house those books would have disappeared forever.

This is why I prefer to just give Hailey those little real estate magazines they give our for free in gas stations. No need to return them, plus at 21 months old she can already tell the difference between a ranch house and a colonial.

Waya said...

OMG! That was so funny about the "punctuality" part. That is my Dad to a tee, he would sit in the car and wait for us and then honk the horn!! Oh, how my Mom loved that...NOT!

Nessa said...

I share your worries.