I think I may have a stalker.
Jennine, over at My Ovaries Made Me Do It has tagged me for a meme called "What Do Men Have In Their Wallets" - and I think she may be stalking me.
First of all, yes - I do read a blog called My Ovaries Made Me Do It. Jennine has a very funny and interesting blog AND her site is testosterone friendly as well - so everyone is welcome!
But here's the reason I think she's stalking me. On Friday night I just happened to be watching that episode of Seinfeld where George had so much crap in his wallet it he could barely close it, and it wound up being about 4" thick. THEN - the next day, Jennine tags me with a "What do men carry in their pockets?" meme.
Coincidence? I think not.
Hey, it IS possible! After all, we both live in Minnesota. AND - that same episode was the one where Kramer had reversed the peephole on his door so everyone could see IN his apartment. Jennine could have done that.
Jennine? Am I going to need to get a restraining order?
Anyway - since I've been tagged, I guess legally I have no choice but to cooperate. So in the spirit of fair play - here are the contents of my pockets and my wallet.
What I carry in my pockets:
- Extra bubble gum. I always carry a pack of this stuff, although since my cud-chewing incident on the televised city council broadcast - I've stopped chewing gum in public. Now only my family has to witness this performance.
- My wallet. This is the before picture. Note how it will not stay folded closed on it's own. More to come on this.
- My cell phone. Not technically in my pockets but hanging off of my hip at all times. I feel naked without it.
- Pocket change. I don't normally like to have change in my pockets but tonight I did so it made the picture.
- Silk eyeglass cleaning cloth (not shown). I HATE having dirty glasses and if possible, never leave home without it.
What I carry in my wallet (click to enlarge):
- Receipts. Just like George Costanza - I have 21 friggen old receipts in there. The oldest one dates back to June 30th.
- Papa Murphy's "Take 'n Bake Club" card with 5 stamps - the last one dated 4/28/06.
- Various business cards.
- My "new" eye prescription. I haven't had new glasses made yet because this Rx is for bifocals. NOOOOOO!
- Local grocery store video club card. Am afraid to use it because I think they have a warrant out on me for late fees.
- My driver's license. I'm pretty sure it's still valid.
- A blockbuster video card that I've never used. I only opened the account because I wanted to rent a video in Duluth one time while I was visiting my parents and needed a card. God I hope Bill returned that video.
- My Northwest frequent flyer card. I have NO idea how many points it has on it - if any.
- My Hilton Honors card. I have NO idea how many points it has on it - if any.
- My medical insurance card, dental insurance card and a 10-punch health club guest visitor's card that stalled out on the 4th punch about 2 years ago.
- A bank check card and credit card. As you can assume by the lone dollar that was in my wallet, this check card is my main means of purchase.
- My Sam's club Business membership card. Ooh.
- My Super America Speedy Rewards points card. This is my absolutely most favorite thing in my wallet. I simply LOVE accumulating points for free things!
- A 20 year-old black and white "proof" photograph of our Livingston Fury album photography session. It's beginning to fade exactly like Michael J. Fox's picture did in Back to the Future when he was playing with the band at the prom. I HAVE to get Marty McFly to kiss Lorraine!!!
- My social security card. I've been told you shouldn't leave this in your wallet. I think I'll take it out, thank you.
- My library card. This is probably the least used card in my wallet. I sincerely wish it wasn't.
- My kids. You never know when you're going to run into an old high-school classmate and need to bore them to death!
- My Red Cross blood donor card. As I mentioned here, the vampires LOVE me!
- A few various phone numbers that I didn't even know were in there until I did this.
And finally - the after picture of my wallet, now that I've thrown out the 21 receipts and removed the SS card. See how nicely it folds closed! I may even be able to cancel my next visit to the chiropractor.
So there you have it. The ENTIRE contents of my pockets and wallet.
I've been told that blogs are a good way to get to know someone personally.
Uh, but I don't think they meant this personally.