Uh oh. I appear to have picked something up from the blogsphere.
Jennine gave it to me and she got it from Heather.
I'm talking about a new Meme to reveal 10 Things You Hate About Yourself. Ok, I'll play. But I'll have to modify it a bit since I don't actually "hate" anything about myself per se. So, in the spirit of fair play, here are
In no particular order...
1. I have a hard time expressing my humor in writing.
I always feel like I'm a lot funnier in person than I am on my blog. When I'm around people, it's easy for me to yuk it up and funny things seem to fly out of mouth. But for whatever reason, I can't seem to push this humor out the ends of my fingertips and onto my keyboard - at least not to my satisfaction.
2. I'm not intimidating at all.
Seriously. If I ever had to try to act like a badass to defend myself against a real badass, I'm pretty sure my opponent would do a spit-take with laughter. "Pffft... Ooh, don't hurt me!" Which leads me to #3.
3. I'm not confident in my ability to defend myself.
Since I've never actually been in a real fight with anyone (not counting the time a guy took a swing at me but was so drunk he missed) I'm not sure how I would do. I've always imagined I would kick some serious butt, but without any actual experience all I can do is speculate.
So, the message to all is: Don't mess with me. I might kick your ass. Or I might not. Do you feel lucky? Huh? Punk?
4. My big toes frequently hurt.
I have no idea why, but for some stupid reason I have trouble with my big toes getting sore. About every few months the sides of them get tender and irritated and then I have to soak them for a few days and then they're all better. I suppose I could have a foot person take a look sometime, but that would be inconvenient. Apparently more inconvenient than having to soak your feet.
5. I never got the chance to "make it" in the music business.
This isn't necessary anything I dislike about myself but more of a disappointment in the music business itself. Considering how talented Livingston Fury was, I have cringed way too many times over the years at how so many crap bands have made it big, while we were left to simply die on the vine.
6. I suck at math.
For some reason, my brain has never been able to process numbers very effectively. It's especially apparent when you see me using my fingers to calculate such things as my server's tip at the restaurant.
And until the last few years, I've always been able to get away with sucking at math. It was kind of my problem and nobody else was affected by it. But now my kids are coming to me for help with their homework and I have to concede and apologize that I can't help them. I hate that. However, to my credit - they ARE coming to me with high-school algebra and geometry problems so I try not to feel too bad. I mean, when was the last time YOU had to calculate the area of a trapezoid?
7. I was never given the last 1/3 octave of my vocal range.
This is just one of those "I wish I had" kind of complaints. When God was handing out voices to people like Tony Lewis and John Waite he must have gave away all the high ones, because by the time I came around all I got was a baritone.
I really shouldn't complain. I have an excellent voice and know how to use it well. I've also learned to choose songs that fit my vocal range, so it never really shows that I have any limitations. I just wish I had more options.
8. I have a wussy back.
Probably from years of shlepping band gear. But lately it's been bothering me more frequently - and for less reasons. It seems all I have to do now is lift a few heavy things and the next day I'm feeling it. I've been seeing a chiropractor but not on a regular basis - more like after it's too late, which of course is NOT the recommended program. As a matter of fact, my back is hurting me right now. Joy.
9. I was never able to finish my degree.
When we first got married I went to a state college and received my 2-year Associate degree in computer programming with no problem. As a matter of fact, I maintained a 4.0 GPA and was honored as Student of the Year. Then, 6 years later I went back to college with a continuing ed program to obtain my BA. For the next 2 years I spent nearly every night studying and working my ass off to complete the program requirements - achieving a 4.0 GPA again.
So why didn't I graduate?
That's a good question. I blame the school. You see the program was designed for working adults who couldn't fit into a regular college schedule. The only problem, however, was that they only provided enough classes to complete the requirements of the major - nothing else. So, after two painful years of bustin my butt to get my BA, I completed the program but was left with 4 elective classes short of a diploma. Oh, I had plenty of extra elective credits on my transcript to meet the total requirements - this school just wouldn't take them! And guess what - nobody offers a continuing ed college program to simply pick up a few spare electives. So here I sit today - 4 classes short of a 4-year degree and no good way to wrap it up.
Wow, that was a long answer. Don't worry, the last one is going to be very short. Or maybe I should say thin.
10. My hair.