Thursday, January 18, 2007

And it's not even my birthday

I hate speeding tickets.

I know, DUH - who doesn't. But I really hate them.

I hate getting pulled over so some dick-head state trooper can feel all important and dominatrix-like.

I hate the colossal waste of time it takes to actually receive one. I mean what are they doing back there anyway? My guess is playing Freecell for 15 minutes just to make us sweat.

And I hate the expense. Not only for the ticket itself but also for the insurance hike you get as an added bonus.

But no matter how hard you try to avoid them, it seems you always get busted when you're not intentionally trying to get away with something - when you're simply just not paying attention. I probably wouldn't even be pissed if I got caught going 90 on purpose. I'd be like "Dude, you got me! Good job!" (ok maybe not). But nonetheless, it's always when you've accidentally creeped up to 80 because your car rides so smoothly that you didn't even notice, that the cops come out of nowhere and pull you over.

But here's the rub. Do you ever get to see the jerk who blows by you going 100 get pulled over? Nope. Just once I'd like to see that happen. Just once.

Like yesterday when I was driving in heavy traffic and some @ss-wipe redneck in an overly-testosteroned Ford truck was riding my back bumper for 5 miles because there was no way for him to get around me. Seriously. Here's all I could see when I looked in my rear view mirror.

And then suddenly, there was a gap in the left lane - and Toby Keith decided it was time to make a run for it.

With chrome pipes blasting the idiot takes off down the highway and vanishes around the corner. "Farewell jerkface" I said out loud. "I hope you get pulled over suckwad."

Of course now you know why I named this post the way I did.

The hardest part though was not flipping him the bird and honking my horn as I passed him by.

But I did have the biggest smile on my face you ever saw!

11 comments:

Mrs H said...

OMG I think it was your birthday, Christmas and Easter all wrapped up in one. You see readers this is his number One biggest pet peeve in the whole world!! He says that on EVERY road trip (even on the way to the grocery store) when someone blows by him and by gosh SOMEONE always does. I can't believe you didn't bring home a bottle of champagne and not because you were gone for 3 long days but your dream finally came true. Oh no, are you sure this happened, you were awake, right?? ahhh, low blow.

Emma Sometimes said...

Oh, isn't that lovely. It's funny, because that happens to me a lot, "...WHERE is a cop when you nee....hey, look at you, getting pulled over." I live between two school zones so I know the fines are like, a house payment.

by the way, I did my meme. Once back in Apr 06 and the latest just up...

Waya said...

Mrs. H is pretty funny!! Yippee for you Jeff! I'd have clapped as I drove by that dude.

Sandy said...

It's funny, 'cause today IS my birthday! Maybe it was meant for me!

Harmonica Man said...

Sandy - It very well could have been for you. I was on my way out of Rochester when it happened!

Heather said...

That would be a dream come true for me too. I was just thinking today watching all the jerks (lately, though, jerkettes) who blow past me on the highway: I'd love to see a cop right now.

What's with all the Moms being in such a hurry that they have to tailgate me, then blow past me like I'm going 20 mph or something? I mean, I expect a certain number of young punks doing that, but when you see the kids in their carseats...grrr. Ticks me off.

You were in Rochester and you didn't even stop by to say hi?

yellojkt said...

I'm never lucky enough to see instant karma like this. What a great day for you.

Mooselet said...

I've only ever had this happen to me once and oddly enough it was just last week! A delivery van was weaving in and out of traffic and after cutting me off continued in its merry way. Not two minutes later it was pulled over on an off ramp that it well known for its speed traps. I know this because I was pulled over there nearly two years ago, so double karma!

but Momma said...

On our last roadtrip home I dipped my toe in the pool of Old Cranky People and honked my horn three times at three different *sswipes.

I'm always waiting for the karma, glad you got to see some!

Carla said...

That is so awesome! There is some sort of karmatic justice.

Mom Thumb said...

I would rather they blow by me than tailgate me (I was in a really bad rear end accident when I was 18). I have threatened for years to get a scrolling marquee for my rear window that I can flip on. It will say "GET OFF MY ASS BUTTHEAD."