I hate speeding tickets.
I know, DUH - who doesn't. But I really hate them.
I hate getting pulled over so some dick-head state trooper can feel all important and dominatrix-like.
I hate the colossal waste of time it takes to actually receive one. I mean what are they doing back there anyway? My guess is playing Freecell for 15 minutes just to make us sweat.
And I hate the expense. Not only for the ticket itself but also for the insurance hike you get as an added bonus.
But no matter how hard you try to avoid them, it seems you always get busted when you're not intentionally trying to get away with something - when you're simply just not paying attention. I probably wouldn't even be pissed if I got caught going 90 on purpose. I'd be like "Dude, you got me! Good job!" (ok maybe not). But nonetheless, it's always when you've accidentally creeped up to 80 because your car rides so smoothly that you didn't even notice, that the cops come out of nowhere and pull you over.
But here's the rub. Do you ever get to see the jerk who blows by you going 100 get pulled over? Nope. Just once I'd like to see that happen. Just once.
Like yesterday when I was driving in heavy traffic and some @ss-wipe redneck in an overly-testosteroned Ford truck was riding my back bumper for 5 miles because there was no way for him to get around me. Seriously. Here's all I could see when I looked in my rear view mirror.
And then suddenly, there was a gap in the left lane - and Toby Keith decided it was time to make a run for it.
With chrome pipes blasting the idiot takes off down the highway and vanishes around the corner. "Farewell jerkface" I said out loud. "I hope you get pulled over suckwad."
Of course now you know why I named this post the way I did.
The hardest part though was not flipping him the bird and honking my horn as I passed him by.
But I did have the biggest smile on my face you ever saw!