Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Dark, Darker, Darkest - For Real?

Lots of men use this very popular line of hair products to help keep them from looking like Bob Barker at age 40. I have no problem with that. After all, why should a guy take the time to do all the other things to keep himself looking young, and then let his hair make him look 20 years older than he really is?

But holy cow - look at the vast list of options men are offered here!

According to their web site a guy can buy Sandy Blond, Dark Blond, Ash Brown, Light Brown, Light-Medium Brown, Medium Brown, Medium-Dark Brown, Dark Brown, Darker Brown, Darkest Brown, Real Black and finally Jet Black.

Seriously?

Who do they think they are selling this stuff to? I mean it's not like most men are going to scrutinize the difference between Light-Medium Brown and Medium Brown for pete's sake. I can just see a guy at Walgreens right now asking his buddy, "Hey Jack, do you think I'm more of a dark blond or an ash brown? I mean, only during the summer that is - because we both know I'm almost a light brown in the winter! Hahahahaha!"

Um, yeah - ain't gonna happen. Trust me.

Well guess what. I'm pretty sure I could help streamline Combe Incorporated's manufacturing and sales processes significantly with one simple suggestion...

... downsize your product line to 3 items - Blond, Brown and Black!

There. Done. That's all that's required. Now, please send me 5% of your cost savings and I will thank you very much.

Oh, and I also have one more suggestion. I think you ought to consider this new product line as well...


I even have the tag line to go with it -

Just For Mensa - The SMART choice for the REALLY smart man!

18 comments:

LA Daddy said...

I hate the whole hair coloring for men thing. It just looks so... odd. When you see wrinkles that close to hair, you shouldn't see a dark bold black color. And the worst? When they dye the eyebrows too? It looks like they've got two caterpillars hanging out on the forehead. Just look at Belushi on that crapfest sitcom According to Jim. Odd.

Harmonica Man said...

What? Are you trying to say that Ronald Reagan's hair didn't look natural?

Jenny said...

I think you could even get simpler than that. Dark or Light.

The choice is simple.

Bill said...

Manufacturers know the hair products you mentioned have a limited appeal. Their goal is to get more shelf space, product exposure and the additional sales.

Badoozie said...

you're totally right, no man is going to stand there and contemplate all those colors. men can't even tell the diff between black and navy blue half the time ;)

Heather said...

I'm sensing a little hair envy here.

yellojkt said...

That black shoe polish looks terrible on anyone over 30. The trick is to buy a hair color one shade lighter than your natural color. That's what my dad used to do.

deborah said...

I almost fell off my chair when I opened your site; BECAUSE, my hubster actually shocked, literally, me with Johnny Cash black on his goatee last weekend. he kinda reminded me of one of the circus hobos in a strange way. Don't go too dark. It was shocking at first, but because his hair is black, it slowly started to blend. slowly

Mitch McDad said...

Unfortunately, this is not a product i require, having very little area to apply it to; unless you count, nose, ear, back, and ass hair. :)

Karl said...

I just can't get into the hair coloring thing. When I go gray, that'll be it...I'll keep it like it is.

Where the gray really stands out, though, is in my beard. If I grow facial hair, the gray is like - WHAM!

rick said...

No stress-no grey!

Harmonica Man said...

rick - How do you know? Your blond hair could be littered with gray and it would just blend in. Besides - you not stressed? Ha!

Mom said...

I agree with Karl---it REALLY shows up in the beard. Why some men color their hair when they have a gray beard is absolutely beyond me. How can they think that makes them look younger?

Mooselet said...

My brother's solution to going grey was to shave his head - problem solved!

Maybe that's what Britney was trying to do...

rick said...

I just checked. A few light hairs on the mustache, that's all. Where as you could pass for Elastic Man on Fantastic Four.

Sandy said...

Thanks for the idea.

I'm buying my husband some JET BLACK. He's blonde, but I think he'd look kick-ass with a new do!

Carla said...

You might laugh over this. My husband was reading your blog and enjoying the hair color topic.
I said to him, I don't get it, what's Mensa?
He told me it's for intellectual people.
Um that must tell you something about us, that I didn't know what that was. heavy sigh!

Claude said...

What I find interesting is that the stuff for men takes about five minutes, while the stuff marketed to women takes about a half-hour to do.

Because men aren't putting up with that crap for long.