Sunday, March 18, 2007

The Inside Scoop

Now that the cat's out of the blogbag so to speak regarding my co-workers, I thought it would be ok to share a little personal office humor - if you can call it that.

I read somewhere that if you work full time you will spend 40% of your awake hours with your co-workers. That's a LOT of time - especially if you've worked with the same group of people for over 10 years like I have.

That's also a lot of "inside" information that your not-at-work family and friends know nothing about. You know what I mean... the stupid things that only make sense to you and your co-workers, but to nobody else in the world.

However, what's even stupider - is when you list these things out of context to people who have no idea what you're talking about. Like you.

For instance, at my office...

  • I am afraid of large butterflies
  • If I wear pink glasses I can't read things highlighted in pink highlighter
  • Magazines don't make good flyswatters - especially if the fly is in the blinds
  • I'm known as "Heifer"
  • I'm also know as "B1" (from Bananas in Pajamas)
  • If I seem crabby for any reason - it means my feet are sweaty
  • If I installed an appliance at home - it means I probably "got lucky" with my wife as well
  • My poor attitude about the lottery is the only reason we've never won
  • I guys named Dick
Go ahead. Give them your best shot. A couple of these are self explanatory, but most of them won't make sense no matter how you slice them. But not to worry, I'll explain them in a follow-up post where I'm sure they'll make perfect sense.

Not.

In the meantime, how about leaving me one of your stupid inside jokes that won't make sense to the rest of us?

And I'm a sucker for nonsense, so please - the stupider the better!

13 comments:

Kal said...

I'm new to my office, so, alas, I have no inside jokes with these there.

But at meetings of the municipal board on which I sit, I always premise certain comments with "it's after 10, right?", as after 10pm the filters which control the proper use of invective seem to shut down.

In other words - I have a potty mouth..

Harmonica Man said...

kal - About 10 years ago our office was given a sexual harassment video tape to watch from our corporate office. We watched it, but then lost it over time. Now if someone says something inappropriate our first response is automatically, "Get the tape!"

Fortunately, that never happens.

*ahem*

onetallmomma said...

I'm still chewing on "twitterpatted", Jeff.

Harmonica Man said...

ashley - See here

Badoozie said...

None of that stuff makes sense. And you're asking me to write something that makes no sense, which I can do with both parts of my brain tied behind my back, nothing I say makes sense!! hows this....

"the heckler and koch G36, quite deadly in the right hands"

Harmonica Man said...

badoozie - Of course a 45mm automatic German assault rifle is deadly. Makes sense to me.

(ya gotta love Wikipedia!)

Mom Thumb said...

I understand several of these from previous posts. Butterflies, Heifer, B1 . . . ? And I don't think I even want to know the last one!

The inside joke between me, my daughter and her friends is: Spork

onetallmomma said...

Yup, that about sums it up....#3 with a dash of #4 that is. I'm definitely twitterpatted.

Mom said...

Popsicle!!

rick said...

bwug

Stacey said...

Dude, it's Wednesday.

I know this great new restaurant . . .

We need to watch Big Daddy for movie night.

Did all of your "friends" go home?

Merchant Whorehouse.

wayabetty said...

Oh, I really miss those office politics and juice. And there were plenty of them when it comes to sales people!!

Here's an inside joke for you, try to guess what we're talking about.

"Who dropped the chalupah?" (and I'm not talking about the actual food.) ;-)

Harmonica Man said...

stacey - I'm guessing Wednesday has something to do with "hump day." As for the rest, well - you'll just have to write about them yourself.

waya - Pew!