Saturday, March 10, 2007

The Price of Fame

I've mentioned this before, but I have a very serious hangup about going to the bathroom in a public restroom. Specifically to... well, you can read about it here. But sometimes you simply don't have a choice, and you have to answer nature's call.

So yesterday this guy in our office building follows me into the bathroom. Most of the time if something like this happens when I'm on a "serious mission", I simply walk over to the sink and act like I just came in to wash my hands. Other times, if the guy is headed toward the urinal - I'll go in the stall, sit down, and wait him out. But yesterday... well let's just say I really had to go and it didn't matter why he was coming in. This time I had no choice.

So - imagine my horror when I sit down to do my business and all of I sudden I hear this...

"Hey! I saw you in the paper yesterday - on the FRONT PAGE! Good job!"

Me: (~uhnnn~) Um, yeah thanks.

Him: Yeah, it was weird. I saw your picture at breakfast yesterday and was like "Hey honey, lookit here. This guy works in the office downstairs in our building!"

Me: (~grunt~) Uh huh.

Him: So, what is it that you do again? You write a newspaper column or something?

Me: Uh, yeah.
(~toot~) Something like that.

Him: Wow, that's cool. Well good luck with that. See ya later!

Me: Yeah, thanks.

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: Good grief.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Everyone Poops

Bill said...

Wow, a toilet interview. You are really famous!

Carla said...

Wow, maybe I'm uptight, I can poop in a public restroom, but I just can't write about the experience. huh!

Heather said...

Ack. I hate using public bathrooms too.

Bill is too funny.

rick said...

The guy was obviously fishing for an autograph. Remember you are never too busy for your fans.

Mom said...

Be sure and wash your hands before signing autographs!!!

Badoozie said...

that is inappropriate at best..so how many squares did you use?

onetallmomma said...

Congrats on the article. And yes, I agree with Mr/Ms anonymous....Everyone poops!

Harmonica Man said...

anon - Good catch. I'm guessing you saw the
Oprah post!

bill - Unfortunately, most interviews conducted in bathrooms stink.

carla - Then we'd make a good team. You can poop and I'll write about it.

heather - "Too" funny is a great way to put it. Please, don't encourage him.

rick - Sorry, that guy was fishing in the wrong toilet!

mom - Thankfully he didn't ask to shake my hand.

badoozie - Ya, look who's talking. BTW, you never answered my question on your poop story.

ashley - Sure everyone poops, but everyone doesn't have to poop in public. There are other options you know. I mean look at that astronaut woman - she didn't have to poop in public!

Sandy said...

Next time you should swing the door open and ask him to come on it! Yeesh!

Stacey said...

I think there's something seriously wrong with anyone who tries to have a conversation with a person in a bathroom stall. Period.

Harmonica Man said...

sandy - Yeah, but in this guy's case, I would've been afraid that he'd actually come in!

stacey - I couldn't agree more. Besides, isn't there some kind of law against that anyway?

wayabetty said...

I'm glad he didn't say "courtesy flush!" What?! He didn't hand over a "square" to ask for your autograph? ;-)

Mitch McDad said...

That's outstanding. At least he didn't reach underneath and try to shake your hand or get an autograph.

but Momma said...

Oh the horror of it all!

Johnny said...

atleast he didn't lean against the stall and continue talking....

Janna said...

LOL!

Well, at least you got to "toot" your own horn.

So to speak.