Friday, March 30, 2007

Whatever happened to a good old fashioned TP job?

When most people's properties are vandalized, it usually involves something normal like toilet paper or eggs. However at our house, we've been lucky enough to have been targeted recently by some more "creative" types of vandals.

For example, a few months ago we came home to find our entire screen door coated in a frozen bright yellow liquid that we immediately assumed to be urine. I know, nice. But further analysis proved it to only be Mountain Dew. How did I know? It was sweet, not salty.

Then last week when we went out to rake our grass for spring, we found the entire front lawn strewn with nails, screws, tacks, nuts and bolts. Seriously. Someone literally scattered several hundred pieces of hardware into our yard.

Now, of course, I'll have to use some kind of large magnet or metal detector to clean it up so the kids don't puncture their bare feet this summer. Or worse - have it become deadly shrapnel if I hit it with the lawnmower. Here's a picture of some of the crap I picked out of the grass.


Eventually I picked up enough of this junk to fill an entire ice cream pail. And that's just the stuff I could see.

And now just the other morning we came out to find our entire side lawn littered with 15 or so old phone books. Here they are in my recycling bin this morning.


WTF? Who would bother to do something like this?

I'm not really sure what message these neighborhood vandals are trying to send - but it sure is an odd one if you ask me.

I don't know, mabye they're trying to say, "Urine the land of nuts and phonies."

Or not.

18 comments:

deborah said...

what, do you live down the road from me??? you should see the crap the snowbanks left behind! yep, every week, here, it's a carnival of excitement to see what new ornament has landed from the street demons flying by. idiots. i'd like, just once, to follow them home, ride around the block, and toss out some old socks and chewed up dog toys for them, see if they'd like that. my dog's toys are very large.

Mom said...

My gosh---I can't believe it. But then again, I can---did you hear about the 3 teen-agers who vandilized the new University-Duluth Science Building last year to the tune of $8.2 Million, by turning on all the water faucets full force, and then leaving!!!!

Carla said...

pcdijdWe used to live on a street where several old cars with junk would be abandoned and left for the city to come haul them away. Then there were the various furniture dumps that people would just shove from the back of trucks as they drove. But what took the cake on this FORMER neighborhood was when we came out of the house one night to get in the car and a large SUV was blocking our garage door. All we could see in the dark was a head bobbing up and down in the front seat driver side. My husband rapped on the window and imagine their surprise when the head popped up and the recipient of the oral presentation opened his eyes and saw several people staring at them. Good times! Shortly thereafter we started looking for a new house.

Bill said...

Did you look in the phone books to see if there were any numbers written in? They could be good leads to the vandals.

Beanie said...

have you made some enemies? Is anyone else in the neighborhood getting this treatment?

I would probably sleep in my car outside, and try to catch them, then I would beat them to a pulp with a phonebook

Harmonica Man said...

deborah - We're forever picking up junk that people toss out of their cars. Whatever happened to civilized people?

mom - The way you set that up "...did you hear about..." it sounded like a joke. Turns out it wouldn't have been a very funny joke.

carla - Good story. But not so much of a "happy ending" for the recipient - if you know what I mean.

bill - Sorry, no I didn't. I just picked them up and threw them into the recycling bin. I should have called CSI.

beanie - I can hear your potential new sheriff's career coming out in your line of questioning. Good work!

Heather said...

That is some weird stuff.

Karl said...

Wow, you have some really weird vandals.

Mooselet said...

I, too, would like to know if it is just your house or is it a general neighbourhood thing.

Harmonica Man said...

mooselet - I don't know if the neighbors are having similar problems. With Char's business, Austin's skateboard stuff and all the things I have going on these days, we don't get a chance to socialize too much anymore.

Besides, wouldn't people think I was loony if I went around asking them if they've had problems with urine, nails or phone books?

mckay said...

oooo, you need a motion detector and a sprinkler system hooked up to some red dye that smells like skunk.

the nails on the yard sounds pathological and you might want to talk to the police.

i live in OC and there was a young lady who was putting nails and needles at the end of the kiddie slides in several neighborhood playgrounds. turns out she had a huge mental problem, kept a diary about the whole thing...

Sandy said...

Maybe the store was out of paper products???

Or perhaps you've got some carpenter-type recyclers who like to pull a good prank once in awhile?

Kids...

Kal said...

This is what happens when you're not allowed to beat your children...

Stacey said...

But . . . but . . . How did you know it was sweet, not salty?

Harmonica Man said...

stacey - Thank you! It's about time someone caught that. I was beginning to worry that all my cleverness was for not.

I was also wondering if anyone would groan about my closing punfest of a line..."urine (you're in) the land of nuts and phonies" but I realize now it was way too over-engineered.

mom said...

I'm not sure if you are asking if what I said about the flooding of the Science Building was a joke. No, it really happened. It was in the news so many times, I thought you may "have heard about it".

Gale said...

Do you have a video camera that you can set up? As for TP, thats too expensivie unless it is "borrowed" from church.

Anonymous said...

Maybe its the guy you wouldn't talk to in the bathroom the other day....yeah I read your blog.