Saturday, March 24, 2007

Five jobs I'd least like to have

I'm reasonably certain that people are going to leave some comments where I say "Yikes, that one is WAY worse!" But I've had some pretty crappy jobs in my day. Peeling potatoes as a prep cook in a hot kitchen for 4 hours at a time comes to mind as one I could have done without.

However, I've often looked at other people's jobs and thought to myself how much I wouldn't want to do them. Here are 5 that stick out as jobs I would least like to have.

5. Roofer - First of all, the only building you'll see me on top of is the kind with a flat roof and a guard rail around it. I don't do 45° slopes. Second of all, imagine the misery of laying tar paper and shingles on a 90° day. Yuk!

4. Custodian for a cinema complex or sports stadium - This is a toss up for which is worse. On one hand the cinema has all those cloth seats and carpeting full of... whatever (one word of caution... do NOT enter a theater when the lights are on - you may never go to a movie again). On the other hand, the sports stadium is 1000x bigger and you'd have to navigate all those steep steps like some kind of mountain goat. I don't even like to clean my car!

3. Lineman for the county - When are these guys needed the most? When everyone else is hunkered down all cozy and warm in the house during a violent wind or ice storm. And of course getting the power back on is always an emergency of the highest degree. My hat goes off to these people - but it's definitely not for me thank you.

2. President of the United States - Not that this is a job I would ever have to worry about. But seriously, what kind of personality would you have to have to want to be the President? Well, first of all you'd have to have an ego the size of Texas. Then you'd have to believe that every decision you make is the absolutely right decision no matter what the rest of the world thinks. Then you'd have to be able to sleep at night no matter how adversely your decisions affect innocent people all over the planet. In other words, you would have to be pretty much nuts.

And the #1 job I would least like to have...

Medical collections agent - Every day I drive to work and pass by a place that has a sign out front that reads "Medical Collection Agents Wanted." No kidding - you think? I can't imagine a more thankless job. How fun would it be to have to call people all day every day and demand they pay up for the cancer treatment or heart attack they just endured? And to make matters worse, by design this job is tied to incentive. The less you collect, the less you make. I guess all we can hope for is that someday our healthcare system will evolve to a point where this job can be eliminated. Yeah I know, good luck with that.

Well, there is one more job I've overlooked. This one may trump all the ones I've listed above. Yeah, I know that's an old one, but I thought I'd share it for the sake of those who haven't seen it yet. :-)

So obviously I'm interested in your take. What is the worst job you've ever had or would NOT want to have?


Heather said...

I would NOT want to be the person that sucks the crap out of port-a-pottys. Now that job would really suck sh*t!

Anonymous said...

Working inside the holding pond building of the Lake Superior Sanitary District. It smells like a giant plugged up toilet, should you be considerig a tour. I understand the CIA may rent the place for interrogating suspects.

Sandy said...

I wrote an entry about this, as I've had A LOT of sucky jobs. My worst involved looking for a metal divit that had gotten lost in a large vat of Michelina's spaghetti sauce, but I've also worked as clean-up crew for the famous benzene oil spill in Superior in the 90s (had to sign a waiver for that one) and I once spent two days at a Pepsi factory emptying old cans of soda down a floor drain.

But I think the worst job would be any job involving a meat packing plant...THAT would definitely turn me into a vegetarian.

Mom Thumb said...

On the way to the airport, my husband was talking to my daughter, who was trying to decide what she wants to do with her life. He asked what her dream job would be and what her crap job would be. After she went to her gate, I went into the restroom, came out said said "My crap job would be cleaning public restrooms." But I have to say, Heather's sound like a step down from that.

Anonymous said...

worst job: changing pipes in alfalfa field

jobs I don't want...any that I have to work with other women. They are competitive, catty and I always have to work 10 times as hard to get them to like me, then they stab me in the back anyway.

Anonymous said...

Worst I had was collecting golf balls at the driving range. You become the target.
The show Dirty Jobs on T.V. showed
him collecting race horse semem. EEEWWWWWWW!

Anonymous said...

Telemarketer. It totally sucked.

Minimum wage to get yelled at all day.

Anonymous said...

I don't care how much money they make, I could never do the whole Crime Scene Cleanup thing.


Anonymous said...

I don't think I'd make it as say, an assassin.

Unknown said...