Monday, April 16, 2007

Lucy, you've got some splinin to do!

I wasn't aware of this, but apparently you can't just walk into a home center and buy a framed replacement screen for your windows. Because of the millions of various sizes possible, there are only two options for replacing your screen - 1. Order it as a custom-configured special order for a million dollars, or 2. Buy a do-it-yourself kit and make one yourself for a fraction of the cost.

Well, because I have reasonable handyman skilz - the do-it-yourself option was a no-brainer for me.


I mean, how hard could it be? According to the instructions, all that was needed was a hacksaw and a box cutter type knife. Everything else was provided in the kit and after only "4 easy steps" I would have a ready-to-install screen. Bou-ya! I would be installing my new screen in minutes.

Uhh - right.

I'm having a hard time coming up with a good way to describe just how much of a debacle this little project actually turned out to be. So - I thought I would simply represent it in this word cloud instead.

click to enlarge

And if you think I'm over-exaggerating, I think this picture of my "finished" product says it all...


I guess "no-brainer" describes this better than I thought.

17 comments:

Sandy said...

I think it looks great, if your window is shaped like a trapezoid.

Harmonica Man said...

sandy - Yes! That's the new style these days. Very Frank Lloyd Wright.

but Momma said...

I could have told you so, had you asked. My replacement screen was somewhat square, but looked like a pair of baggy pants. *sigh*

Dan said...

If I can't make/fix it by hitting things very hard with a big hammer, then it's not worth doing.

Try a sledgehammer on it. Or alternatively you could just brick up the window you were wanting to cover.

deborah said...

bummer! too bad you don't live in my neck of the woods. we actually do have a place where they make them for you, for almost nothing. seriously. I had one done for less than $5 last year for one of Christina's windows. Maybe you should just give me the measurements and I'll fed ex the screen to ya.

Harmonica Man said...

but momma - I think mine is warped because my pants are too tight!

dan - With my luck, I'd probably put the bricks up crooked.

deborah - Wow. Was that for the screen AND the frame?

Vampdaddy said...

You are a brave soul for evening entering into a home DIY shop. They scare the crap out of me!

Ba Doozie said...

next time just go steal the neighbors...re-screening is the devil but I don't have to tell YOU that

Carla said...

I'd just move if I were you.

Mooselet said...

Duct tape it to the frame. Duct tape can fix anything!

deborah said...

oh yes, all in one. the whole deal. and done in 2 days! no kidding. If you can't find it at Home Depot or Lowe's, this place has everything. and I mean EVERYTHING!!!! it's like the old fashioned farm and tractor place. you can build machinery from the place. (that's if you want to do stuff like that.)

Diesel said...

It looks like a drug screen.

Harmonica Man said...

vampdaddy - I wish they scared me. They say you learn from your mistakes. But if that were true, I'd be the smartest guy on the planet by now!

doozie - Good idea. They're probably the people who took mine in the first place anyhow.

carla - Sure, take the easy way out huh? No way, I'm too stubborn for that.

mooselet - Hey, I like that! I'll just tape the opening shut with duct tape, and then poke a million little holes through it. Instant screen!

deborah - And what year is it in your town?

diesel - I'm thinking more like a screen on drugs.

Kal said...

We have one of those places downtown that'll do that for you.

I had to take a bunch of screens in from my first house because the previous owner had taken to sitting on his porch and shooting at the woodchuck that went after the garden.

His screened-in porch.

Through the screens.

"You know you're a redneck when..."

rick said...

Shouldn't the handle be in the middle of the screen?

Gale said...

very nice and it can double as a sifter for baking and panning for gold.

deborah said...

well, duh jeff, it's 1999 here! Can't you Prince singing??