Tuesday, May 22, 2007

To Tell the Truth - The Contest!

I think it would be safe to say that I've lived a somewhat "interesting" life so far.

As a kid it couldn't have been more Leave it to Beaver, ride-your-bike, golly-gee-mom normal. On the other hand, once I got "older" I did some things that most people can only imagine. For example, I spent the entire decade of the 80s touring with a rock and roll hair band - NOT your average lifestyle by any stretch of the imagination. Fortunately, I came out of it perfectly normal. Ok, that's subjective I know.

Anyway, one of the benefits of living on the road with a band is that you come away from it with lots of cool stories. At least the ones you can remember. So for your benefit, I thought I'd share a few of these little gems from my past. However, with a catch.

Here's a fun little game I've seen other people do and have always enjoyed. I'll tell 6 short stories from my past, but only 3 of them will be true. Every person who guesses which are the 3 true stories will win their choice of a Receders live DVD video, a Receders live music CD or a Livingston Fury CD - plus, one emailed bonus story that is not... how shall I say... "appropriate" for this blog. Hey, my parents read this!

Answers will be revealed with their additional back stories Thursday evening - unless a million people keep entering, and then it will be extended. (Sorry, only one entry per person. Family members are excluded from commenting or leaving clues due to extreme familiarity of my past. Not valid with any other offer or coupon. Void in NM, ME and and the boring parts of WI)

So, give it shot. Who knows - you could be a lucky winner!


1. While packing our band truck for a road trip, I needed to secure a set of light poles to the wall with a bungee cord. So, I hooked the cord to a grommet and s t r e t c h e d it as hard as I could. Suddenly the hook came loose and whipped around to hit me directly in the eyeball. Before pain could even register, the vision in my right eye went dark. The first thing out of my mouth was, "Oh shit, I don't have a good feeling about this!" It took several days for my vision to return but fortunately there was no permanent damage. Although last year I had to have surgery to reattach my retina. Coincidence?

2. One time while touring with the USO in the Philippines, we were playing at Clark Air Base near the capital city of Manila. The bass player and I decided to hire a Jeepney taxi to take us to a local market. However, due to language miscommunication, the driver took us to a brothel instead where several young girls came running out, grabbed our hands and started pulling us toward their "house." Of course we were too freaked out to do anything but start laughing our asses off and get back in the taxi.

3. While working in Billings Montana, I stopped into a liquor store to pick up some beer. While I was in the back of the store looking in the coolers, I heard some yelling up front so I decided to see what all the commotion was about. As I came around the corner I saw a guy with a ski mask pointing a gun at the cashier and immediately ducked down back behind some beer cases so I couldn't be seen. About 20 seconds later I heard a gun shot. No one was actually shot in this incident, but the cashier did his best to get a round off at the burgler - after he followed him out of the building and fired at him from the sidewalk!

4. Over the course of our 10 year career, we were very lucky to have had the opportunity to open for several national acts, including a Sammy Davis Jr. telethon (featuring Lola Falana, Billy Crystal and of course Sammy himself), the Ozark Mountain Daredevils and Loverboy. However, in one large club in Englewood, FL - we actually played a show where Mary Wilson from The Supremes (the same woman the movie Dreamgirls was based on) opened for us! Unfortunately, instead of this being another great experience, Mary ruined it by acting like a total prima donna crybaby b*tch who did nothing but whine and complain the entire evening.

5. Every now and then we would play a club that had special events for the evening. At one
club in Ottumwa, IA called Radar O'Reilly's, they held a ladies' night where the male dance review Chippendales performed for 200 women before the band hit the stage at 9:00. The instant we started playing, several "excited" women started demanding that we take off our clothes. Because only women were allowed in the club until 10:00, we decided why not? and immediately stripped down to nothing but our bikinis and proceeded to finish the set in our underwear. The good news was - I made over $50 in ones that night!

6. At one point while we were on the road we traveled in a caravan containing one large cargo truck and 3 cars. Before one particularly long trip from Janesville, WI to Houston, TX, I decided at the last minute to dash back inside the hotel to use the bathroom before we hit the highway. Apparently I took too long because when I got out to the parking lot, everyone was gone! Somehow every vehicle thought I was in one of the other vehicles. Eight hours later when the group stopped for dinner they figured out I was missing (remember, this was 1984 - years before anyone had cell phones). After a very expensive flight involving last minute plane tickets and taxis, I arrived at the hotel - and even made it there before the rest of the band!

25 comments:

Hilly said...

Well shooooot, I am too new to know any of the true versus false answers here. Hrm, maybe I will just come back later and go on gut instinct after reading and re-reading all of the stories!

Jenny said...

I think 1,4 and 6 are the truth. But if I'm wrong will you still send me the raunchy story?

Pretty please?

Heather said...

Wow this is tough! I'm just taking a wild guess and saying 3, 4 and 6.

Mooselet said...

Crap, I'm no good at these things. I'll choose 1, 2 and 6 as true.

Mom Thumb said...

Hubby had a detached retina a few years ago and I think if you'd had that surgery, we surely would have read about it here. The brothel sounds a bit like a fantasy from the 80's. Montana I can believe, I've been there. I don't know why you would make up a story about Mary Wilson being a B. Chippendales sounds like another guy thing and the last one has too many twists to be made up. So I'm voting 3, 4, and 6.

deborah said...

I'm going with 1, 4 and 6. The being left behind story, that's pretty realistic. So is bithchy Mary. But Chippendale's??? Come on, Jeff! By the way, love the Rock and Role pic!

Carla said...

One, three and five....because they're odd in many senses.

Emma Sometimes said...

Three, FOUR, and six are true.

sis said...

#2, #4, #6
sis

Harmonica Man said...

sis - Hey, didn't you read the disclaimer? You're not allowed to vote! But it's ok, you're not a winner anyway. Word of warning though to the rest of my family... I will delete your comments! Oh, don't think I won't.

neva said...

hmmmm. as someone who toured with a band herself (only for a couple of years, but still...) -- i have to say i find all of these "scenarios" believable. i'm gonna guess: #1, #2 and #6. probably because 1. i'm clumsy 2: shit happens and, 6: that almost happened to me once, in Canada. d'oh!

that said, whichever stories are true, they're ALL hilarious. (guess i'll have to check back now, if only to see what DID happen to you and/or who wins these coveted CDs! ; ) xox

Kal said...

1,3 and 6?

And I'm so jealous....

Anonymous said...

Sorry little brother, I never read fine print! But, having read all the choices, now I am really afraid to find out the truth!
You have such a wild and crazy past! Look forward to the "finals"!

Harmonica Man said...

sis - Ain't no thing. I'm just funnin' ya. OR AM I!

bwahahahahahaha!

onetallmomma said...

2, 4 and 6.

G said...

I'm going with 1, 2 and 6. And now that I read back I see I have company. Neva! What are you doing here?

Allright, I'll be back for the down and dirty.

Karl said...

I'm going with 1, 2, and 6.

Ba Doozie said...

my guess is 4,5 and 6

but Momma said...

I'm going with 1, 2 and 6. I'm really hoping you made up number 3!

What fun!

Mrs. H said...

I think you should be hoping he made up #5!!!

Teri said...

I'm going with 1, 2 and 6 as well!

but Momma said...

mrs. H,

I discounted number 5 right away. If it were me, and it were true, it would go with me to my grave.

:)

rick said...

I think the quote was 'I've got a bad feeling about this." See you next Thursday.

Stephanie said...

Well, it seems Jenny and I are thinking alike yet again. I'm going with 1, 4, and 6.

But I'd still like to see you as a Chippendale! Meee-Owww!

Jess Riley said...

I'm going with 1, 4, and 6. What might the truthiness indicator reveal? Hmmmm??? (I love this game!)