This weekend we celebrated my dad's 80th birthday.
Bill is somewhat famous on this blog for being the good-spirited source of several of my favorite posts, the ones you'll find in my sidebar under MY PARENTS called "Bill-isms." I encourage you to flip through these real quick if you haven't seen them before. They pretty much capture who Bill really is through his own "words of wisdom" he has bestowed upon us over the years.
This weekend was no exception. As we chided him about being 80, he immediately fired back his favorite joke about the last time he went to the doctor. "...and when I asked the doctor how I was doing he said, 'Well... I wouldn't buy any green bananas if I were you.'"
I doubt that I've captured all of the known Billisms, but here's a few more I've collected since the last time I posted a set:
"Just remember - you can shut the mouth of a friend, but the mouth of an enemy remains a waggling tongue forever"
Bill likes to remind you to rethink your decision with this saying any time you're about to stick it to someone.
"One thing people would rather give than receive is advice"
The single most ironic thing Bill can possibly say to you.
"Why are you hitting your toe with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."
Just hurt yourself or have a headache? Bill will offer up this dumb joke as his idea of comic relief.
"Expanding gas takes on heat"
Bill will remind you of this any time the topic of refrigeration comes up. If this principle is true, however, then Bill must be one pretty hot guy - because he always seems to be a little expanded with gas.
We had a lot of fun at his party. All of his children and eight grandchildren were there to share good food, stories and this unique strawberry shortcake construction project.
His gift from the four of us kids was a one-year service plan to Clearwire, a high-speed wireless internet provider and much needed upgrade from the dialup plan he had been using. In fact, his dialup was so slow and unstable that he frequently wasn't able to even access my blog or your comments. That's just wrong.
Earlier in the day, before we told him about his new wireless plan, I got the opportunity to slip in an old-age jab of my own - because it's just so fun to tease the seniors. While I was sitting at his computer I was complaining about the fact it took 10 minutes to connect to the internet. But when Bill told me "Oh, you get use to it" I had no choice but to reply, "Dad - you don't have this kind of time!"
We laughed, we cried.
Anyway, on August 1st this
old fine man will turn 80. And if his Bill-isms don't tell you enough about who he is, let me add this additional description...
Bill is the single most selfless, generous, kind and helpful person you will ever meet.
So with that being said, help me give Bill the big shoutout he deserves...