I know I've seen other bloggers reference this in the past, but since I was just forced to listen to this song a few minutes ago at the grocery store, I have now been granted the right to say my piece as well.
I'm talking about that annoying song Ironic by Alanis Morissette. It must be the way I'm wired but for whatever reason that song totally bugs me. Because if you really listen to the lyrics you'll find that she decided to write an entire song about irony, apparently without consulting her dictionary or thesaurus first.
Here's the deal... listed below are the phrases she has passed off as "ironic." I've evaluated said lyrics and have applied a Yes/No ranking to each. At the end, we'll decide just how accurate Alanis actually was in labeling these hypothetical situations properly.
Let's check the irony!
"An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day"
No. This is simply a case of bad luck. I'm reasonably sure this will happen to me.
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
No. This is just disgusting.
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
No. Just bad timing.
It's like rain on your wedding day
No. Just my wedding day.
It's a free ride when you've already paid
No. And what the hell does that even mean?
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
No. Just a stupid sentence that doesn't belong in this song.
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice..."
No.Just a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.
A traffic jam when you're already late
No. Bad planning.
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
No. You're just in California (or Minnesota after Oct 1 - YAY!)
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
No. You're just looking in the wrong drawer, although the wrong REALLY BIG drawer for sure.
It's meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife
No. Your just an unlucky jealous loser.
So there you have it. She writes a song about irony and none of the "ironies" are actually ironic.
Now THAT'S actually ironic!
Unless... unless Alanis was actually anticipating that people like me would over-analyze a song about irony that wasn't ironic and knew it would piss us off. THEN, I would have to say "Hats off to you Alanis, because you truly have bested me on this one!" But then that would require that she was smart enough to conceive such a convoluted scheme, and anyone who writes a song about irony that isn't ironic in the first place just can't be that smart.
Don't you think?