Saturday, September 08, 2007

Antisocial Commentary is no stinker

Diesel and I have a lot in common.

We sort of look alike, we both think highly of him, we both have good kids and pretty wives, and we both have worked in the software business for over 11 years. Heck, except for the fact that I'm two inches taller than he is, we're practically interchangeable.


In fact, I bet I could walk into his kitchen tomorrow and the only thing his kids would say is, "Dad, you look taller." Even then all I would have to say is, "lifts!" and they would nod with acceptance of my wise orthopedic footwear choice and go about their business.

But now he's gone and written a book just to one-up me.

At first I was impressed - but then I remembered that Paris Hilton has also written a book. Nonetheless, the fact remains that Diesel has taken that next step toward literary mediocrity and deserves to be acknowledged for it.

After receiving my copy last week, I headed straight for the bathroom where all my reading material is kept, and began to work my way through it. The book, that is. However, after I ran out of toilet paper one day, I needed to steal the piece I had been using as a bookmark - and may have skipped several chapters without knowing the difference. Even still, I have to say I enjoyed the parts I did read.

But the real reason I'm writing about it isn't to tell you that Diesel's book is an easy read with a high chuckle-per-page ratio - which it is. It's because I'm trying to cash in on a marketing opportunity that could help send my kids through college.
Or at least buy them one of their text books.

That's right, for every Antisocial Commentary - from the secret files of the Mattress Police you buy through the link in my sidebar, I will receive a whopping $2.00! DID YOU HEAR THAT!!! $2.00! Free money! To me!

Now, don't let the fact that I'm trying to make money off this deal cause you to question my sincerity about this book... he really is a very funny and clever writer. And depending upon how fast you read, this book could easily be consumed in one very entertaining evening.

Of course that wouldn't necessarily be a very entertaining evening for me, since - well... let's just say my legs would probably fall asleep before I could finish.

11 comments:

Dad said...

There is a saying, "Never buy what you can borrow." You did say you have a copy of Diesel's book?, SON.

Heather said...

I like Bill's idea.

You do look frighteningly similar to Diesel...care to comment on that Bill?

I have a book idea in the works but I need several kicks in the butt to get it on "paper"...if you'd like a kick you can send $2 to my paypal account!

Gale said...

If it weren't for the names on the bottom of each picture I would never have known there were two different men...sincerely. Did I tell you that I need new glasses?

Jeff said...

dad - Sure. How about I rent it to you for $2.00?

heather - Are you saying I can kick you for $2.00? Cause that just seems wrong.

gale - Yes, good idea. Otherwise I would worry that you might get Rocky confused with some other guy. Especially if he's not wearing his name on his shirt.

neva said...

ya know... you DO look a hell of a lot like Diesel. that alone should be worth a couple of bucks.

Bill said...

Heather-Let's just say, "Relations have been known to create relations".

Mom Thumb said...

Hey, I think I spy a Billism I haven't heard before.

Diesel said...

Dude, I'm 6'2", so if you're 2 feet taller than me, you should be playing for the NBA. Somehow I doubt that, although your neck looks to be about nine inches longer than mine.

Jeff said...

neva - What a great idea. Diesel and I could tour carnivals around the US and charge $2.00 per person to come and look at "The two guys who kind of look similar!"

bill - And in Tennessee the saying is "relations with relations make even stranger relations."

mom thumb - You're right. I'll add them to the "futures" list stat!

diesel - You think my neck is long... (hardy har har)

Actually I'm 6'4" so I'm used to everybody being 2' shorter than me. When I go to Asia that is.

Carla said...

Wait, you were just talking about all the money that the Skate park needs. Don't you think that the proceeds should go there...I'm just saying.

Bill said...

Jeff: Thank God, I have never been to Tennessee. California is another story. Your sister was born at Camp Pendleton, and I have to say, "I am very glad she looks like a beautiful woman, and not you or Diesel!