Ok, putting up a post about nothing was dumb, I’ll admit it. But hey, I’m not above doing dumb things. In fact, I’ve got quite the history of doing dumb things to prove it.
For example, when I was about 10, my buddy and I sprinkled roofing nails all over the road… in front of our house. Well technically he sprinkled the nails, I just followed behind him and stood them upright. But still, not a great idea.
Especially when the neighbors started telling my dad he owed them the money for their flat tires.
Or another time, when I was about the same age, when one of my buddies walked down to our yard all dressed up (nerd-like) to go to some fancy restaurant with his mom. When my other friends started to tease him about how “cute” he looked, I got all caught up in the moment and smushed my ice cream cone right into his chest – apparently just to teach him that he shouldn’t wear nice things around us.
The reason he came down to our house in the first place? Ya, to invite me to go with him. Nice.
Or the time when I was about 12 and me and my buddies all decided we would shoplift something on a dare – and got caught. And had to be lectured by the Target security manager for like an hour. And had to call our parents from his office and tell them what we did. And had to have our parents come and get us.
The big item I was busted for? Oh, I’m so proud… an adhesive number “0” like the kind you stick on your house for your address. That’s right, a big dumb zero, just like me. At least that’s how I felt at the time. But what important lesson did I learn that day?
That's right - I learned about irony. Can you say irony children?
And finally the time when I was about 16 and one of my buddies and I crafted an impromptu raft out of driftwood logs that were lying on the beach of Lake Superior. Of course since we didn’t have any rope with us at the time, we simply criss-crossed the logs on top of each other until we had constructed a platform that was about 8’ x 8’ square. And very much to our surprise when we pushed it out into the water and climbed onto it – IT FLOATED!
So naturally we had to paddle it out a ways and lie down on it so we could soak up the sun. But soon the tide started pulling us out to “sea” and the waves began to get bigger. Eventually our little barge started to break apart and before we knew it, there we were bobbing up and down in the frigid waters of Lake Superior about ½ mile from shore with just two logs between our legs. This of course was way too far for either of us to swim in that temperature, especially with numb legs already.
Only after a fishing boat happened to pass close enough for the perplexed captain to see our arms waving in the air, were we lucky enough to be rescued from our icy trap. And because we hadn't told anyone else where we were or what we had done, no one would have even been looking for us. Let's just call the fact that we escaped that one unharmed dumb luck.
So there you have it, a few of the dumb things I did as a kid. But you know - as I was writing this I noticed one common thread throughout all these stories. In every one of these events, I was with a buddy or buddies. So maybe I wasn't the dumb one after all. Maybe I was just too naive to say "no" when these guys proposed these ridiculous plots and none of these things were actually my fault in the first place. Huh? You think?
Naw, now I'm just being dumb.