Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Bathroom Meme

I say if you're gonna do a meme, you might as well go all the way and reveal more than anybody ever wanted to know about you.

And what could be more personal than your bathroom habits? Exactly.

So here is a list of choices we all make on what types of personal care products and habits we choose on a daily basis. Until I put this together, I never realized just how many choices there are. How lucky for you.

1. Conditioner y/n?
No, shampoo is good enough for me. With the lack of locks on my melon, I have neither the need nor the desire to "rinse and repeat".

2. Razor - manual, electric?
I'm not sure if my razor is manual, electric or some kind of hybrid, but I use the Gillette M3Power "vibrating" razor. My sister-in-law gave me one of these a few years back as a Christmas present and I've been a huge fan ever since. This razor shaves super close and just glides right over your face. But DAMN - these suckers are expensive!

3. Shaving cream - foam, gel?
Since I usually shave every day it doesn't take much to mow my lawn - but if I had to choose, I guess I would pick gel because it does seem to lubricate better than foam.

4. After shave - y/n, brand?
When I was much younger I used to use after shave, but more as a cologne than a moisturizer. But I don't have a problem with dry or chaffed skin so I'd rather not spend money on something extra I don't need.

5. Toothbrush - regular or electric?
Just a regular old-fashioned toothbrush kind of guy. Although I probably should take my dentist's advice and replace it more than once a year. According to him "the bristles should be standing up and firm and not all smushed down blah blah blah..." Whatever. What does he know anyway?

6. Toothpaste - regular or gel, whitening etc?
I don't have much of a preference here. But if I had to choose I suppose it would be a minty-flavored gel. We're using a citrus type of toothpaste right now and even though I'm sure it does the job, it doesn't make me feel minty fresh afterwards.

7. Floss - y/n, flavored, thick/thin, waxed?
Yes and no. I floss, but not consistently. But when I do it needs to be the really thin stuff since my back teeth are very close together. And if I break off a piece between my teeth I only have about 5 seconds before I go insane.

8. Mouthwash - y/n, brand?
No, I've never been a mouthwash kind of guy. And that disgusting commercial where that guy swooshes his hot spitty mouthwash around in his mouth for 10 minutes doesn't help much either.

9. Toilet paper - over or under?
We definitely an "over the top" kind of family. In more ways than one.

10. Magazines?
Yes, we have a lavatory library. But I hate it when the supply runs low and you have to keep reading the same magazines over and over again, to the point of where you eventually end up reading about the side effects of Celebrex.

11. Hair dryer or towel dry?
It depends. When I first get my hair cut, I just towel dry it briefly and comb it. But once it gets a bit longer I blow dry it to help poof it up. Ok, this is officially the point where I now know this meme was a bad idea.

12. Hair "products" - moose, gel, hairspray, etc?
Just a light spritz of hairspray is all I use to keep my luscious remaining locks in place. And I prefer a non-aerosol pump.

13. Cologne or body spray - y/n, brand?
No. I stopped wearing cologne shortly after I met my wife and vowed my undying love for her forever. I'm not sure how that's related but I'm guessing it had to do with the fact that I wasn't on the prowl anymore so I didn't need to wear bait. On a related note however, if any of you have teenage boys, I hope for your sake they don't find out about Axe, or any of the other popular body sprays. My wife and I have had to intervene to let them know that they don't need to spray on a whole can at once when a half a can will get the job done just fine. Ugh.

14. Deodorant - Spray, roll-on, stick (gel or white), scented etc?
Mildly-scented (fresh) gel stick.

15. Sink and shower soap - liquid, bar, bodywash, etc?
Sink: Liquid hand soap.
Shower: Everything on the market, but like the story says - I prefer the bar.


16. Sink cup - disposable Dixie type, regular?
We don't actually have a cup in our bathroom because nobody in our family would even dream about using a "community" cup, and the Dixie cup thing is too much of a hassle to keep stocked - so we either go without or bring one in from the kitchen.

Whew! Way more information than you ever needed to know. And this is only the basic stuff. I didn't even want to attempt to add questions for women about makeup, lotions and *ahem* "feminine care" choices. I may be interested in your personal habits - but not THAT interested.

So feel free to steal this and share it on your own blog (and women can add whatever girlie crap they want).
For some stupid reason I think it would be fun.



But I'm guessing Grundir would have a different opinion.

22 comments:

VE said...

I've forwarded this on to your dentist and he'll be having a special discussion with you on the importance of daily flossing...

Whit said...

Are there really people out there that put tp under? Freaks.

neva said...

who on Earth would saddle you with a meme like this? thinkin' you should A) smack 'em, B) ban 'em from your blog, and/or C) shove a can of 'Lectric Shave up their a... huh? whassat? ya say NO one saddled you with this meme? you made it up????

heh heh. my bad.

kidding! i kid. for i think this is a perfectly wonderful -- albeit mightily personal -- meme, Jeff! can't wait to share personal tidbits about my need to lather/rinse/repeat (talkin' about brusing teeth, here). also, i have a major penchant for designer shampoos and milk-based soaps. are you sure you want and? or need to know more??? ; )

Heather said...

Toilet paper should definitely always go over. I'm glad to know that we agree on this. I'd hate to be uncomfortable should I ever be in the bathroom at your house.

Bill said...

Your timely toilet blog reminds me that Senator Larry Craig has a press conference tomorrow. He will explain his "innocent" actions that got him busted twice.

Diesel said...

Let's just hope Grundir doesn't find out about this one...

Mitch McDad said...

"Poof it up a bit??" That's cute. Of course, being bald I can't really say shit, but let's not be poofing anything up, please.

And be careful with your vibrator/razor. That sounds a bit dangerous.

deborah said...

"don't need to wear bait"... now that is where i just cracked!

Too good. gross everywhere else, being a girl and all, with issues, I can't believe I actually read the blog; this takes the cake. Please don't pun that one.

rick said...

I'm curious. Did you think up this blog while you were on the crapper?

Gale said...

Rocky has discovered Axe, ugh. What ever flavor just stinks.

Jeff said...

ve - Actually, I believe it's in my dentist's best interest to allow me to let my teeth rot.

whit - I've heard rumors of such strange beings, although I've never seen one in person.

neva - Yes. I must know all your dirty hygiene secrets. Hey, is that an oxymoron? Or an oxi-clean moron?

heather - I don't think you'll be too comfortable in our bathroom. We only have an outhouse in the back yard.

bill - One thing's for sure - he'll fit right in in prison. Ooh, that doesn't sound good.

diesel - If he's any kind of meme wraith I'm sure he'll sniff it out eventually.

mitch - Funny. Two unlikely products merged into one. But yet somehow it still works great!

deborah - What gross? Just a bunch of stuff we all do every day. You're just lucky I didn't take it any further because trust me, I had plenty of ammo.

rick - Why does that surprise you? I do all my blogstorming on the toilet. It's the only place I can be alone long enough to come up with ideas!

gale - No kidding. One time I had three teens in my car and I had to open all the windows because I was choking on the stuff. Ugh is right!

Scarlet said...

Sometimes I feel like a Dixie cup, but no, I don't use them myself.

Jennine said...

OMG! What is this over/under crap?
Ya'll don't just pick the roll from the bottom of the bathtub or extend your leg and roll it back to the vacinity of the toilet with your big toe?

Fascinating.

yellojkt said...

Definitely WTMI. Not that I won't steal this meme.

Halfmexican Mama said...

This comment is left for your previous post, but I didnt know if you checked it or not....I cant believe your kids put the fish in the pool, Thats insane! good story though!

wayabetty said...

We did away with the lav. library but instead opt for the laptop to read your blog.

Anonymous said...

Half Mexican,
In the kids defense - it was early in the season and there were no chemicals yet!

Mrs. H

Anonymous said...

Google Regis and Kelly today to hear about a woman discovering a seven foot python entering her toilet from the floor below. That would be the ultimate laxative!

yellojkt said...

I've fallen for the meme and my list of consumer grooming products is here.

Julie Pippert said...

I'm back in town! (For today anyway) and happy to reply (although late).

This is hilarious.

1. I love the 2-in-1 shampoos. Jon is a shampoo and conditioner guy.

2. Jon's a big fan of the same one and as I buy the replacement blades HOLY MACKEREL...is that where your blog income goes? ;)

3. We got a free "test and tell us what you think" trial of that gel and he's been hooked ever since. I use neither gel, foam nor razor. I like nair and wax. (TMI ACK ACK ACK!)

4. Good choice. IMO and IME men rarely apply this in a way that doesn't provoke a sneeze attack.

5. SonicCare v. 2.0 os something like that

6. Can. Not. Stand. Gel. I will be writing soon about Toxic Toothpaste. I'm sure you are on tenterhooks. But you may end up switching to Tom's Paste. :)

7. LOL. I like floss on a stick. (NO that is not a pervie joke double entendre statement LOL).

8. See #6 about toxins.

9. Excellent, we can still be friends. ;)

10. LOL...that's what little kids are for. ;) Fetching! Fetching reading material!

11. I think you spend more time on your hair than I do. Not that I am proud of this. I usually look like the Wild Woman of Zulu due to the humid+frizz+lotsa hair.

12. Good use of "product."

13. I recall asking guys to Stop It with the cologne and aftershave. Polo. Yuck. Good tip to your young man.

14. See #6 about toxins and effect of aluminum build-up.

Great now you think I am French living in California.

15. Why the bar?

16. Hands work well too. :)

LOL...this is a crack up!

Jeff said...

yello - Thanks for playing along. Somehow it doesn't surprise me that a guy who did a "meme week" would steal this ;-)

julie - Thank you too for playing here in the comments. Those are great answers! I um, can't wait to hear about toxic toothpaste? Soon? Please? As for #15 - you may want to read the post to see why I prefer the bar.

*lynne* said...

LMAO hey I might just steal this meme, sounds like just the right amount of "tmi" to make up for my lack of recent posts! :D of course, I don't think I could pull it off with half your wry wit :-)