Wanted: Your submissions!
A long time ago, long before there were blogs or even the internet for that matter, their was a wonderful weekly column in St. Paul's daily newspaper (The Pioneer Press) called Mrs. Malaprop.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, a malaprop (or malapropism) is when someone confuses two or more common sayings and merges them into a new and humorous version of their own. A great example of this is Emma's tongue-in-cheek use of "It's not rocket surgery!"
In that column, readers would send in their favorite over-heard malaprops and the Pioneer Press would print them every Wednesday. The submissions were hysterical and was easily my favorite feature in their paper.
Well, I thought it would be loads of fun to resurrect this idea right here on View From The Cloud! You send me your favorite mangled sayings and I'll write a monthly column that features your submissions. You can either leave them in the comments or email them to me here.
Based on the sheer number of submissions to the Pioneer Press, I'm confident there is an endless supply of these golden gems floating around out there just waiting to be shared with the rest of us. And I know you've heard some of your own.
So to get things started, I'll submit 3 favorites I have saved in my memory banks from years ago:
- You're walking on thin water young man! (first used when Mary was scolding Jesus)
- Sometime I feel like I'm walking on egg crates around her. (because she's sensitive, but not really that sensitive)
- You need to get all your eggs in a row. (just don't put all your ducks in one basket)
I won't say who I heard these from because she probably won't think
But I'm definitely keeping my eye to the ground!
* * * * *"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
Dan Quayle, Vice President