Sunday, November 11, 2007

Why I'll probably come down with Ebola virus tomorrow

I'm not a germaphobe by any stretch of the imagination. And for good reason... I rarely get sick.

I know, you don't have to remind me that I've just cursed myself royally, hence the title of this post - but it's true. Everyone in my family could take turns spewing vomit in my face and my impenetrable immune system would laugh right back at theirs. In fact, I'm the only one in my office who never gets the luxury of taking a sick day. Really. It's a blessing and a curse.

So if I never have to worry about picking up other people's germs, it really shouldn't bother me to do what I had to do today. But it did.

After 2 days of laying curled up in a shivering little ball on our bed, my wife finally raised the white flag and begged me to take her to the urgent care clinic.

Today.

On Sunday.

The one day that only the most oozing, hacking, infectious, no-other-option-available people would willingly give up an entire afternoon in a desperate attempt to find some kind of relief for whatever horrible ailment they are suffering from. The one place and time where if you weren't sick when you went in, you were definitely the proud carrier of at least 3 exotic strains of virus on the way out.

"But honey, just because every muscle in your body hurts, you have a 101 temp and you haven't eaten in 2 days because you are unable to swallow doesn't mean you're really sick. I mean, maybe it's nothing serious. Didn't you stub your toe the other day? I bet that's it."

For some reason that argument didn't fly. And a few hours later there we were sitting in the "sick" side of the clinic waiting for our 1:30 appointment.

Immediately my bio-senses were on alert. I could literally see the viruses flying around the room and attempting kamikaze dives for my mouth. Not this guy! I kept my lips pursed and shut hard. And for good reason too. I heard one woman telling her mom that she had pneumonia, another woman said she had a raging case of strep, and the woman sitting across from me had pus leaking from her eyeballs.

But I must say it was worth it when my wife's test results came back as positive for strep as well, because now she was able to get treated and finally find relief for the pain that had engulfed her body.

Of course when I complained that I wished I had my camera so I could get a picture of the nurse giving her a shot of penicillin in her butt, she promptly told me to "Get out of the room. NOW!"

Geez, some people have no gratitude for the things you do for them.

21 comments:

Dan said...

That's what camera phones were invented for.

Hilly said...

Wow, they give shots of penicillin for that? Hrmph, they always make me take the pills. I hope she gets better soon and if you don't get sick after a day in the germ-hotel, you really are a God!

Jeff said...

dan - Funny, because what I didn't write was that it was when I said "Oh wait,I've got my cell phone with me" that she told me to get out.

hilly - They have 2 options... a single dose in your butt with a needle or pills that take 9 days. She wanted to get it over with so she chose the needle.

Gale said...

I hate the doctor's waiting room!!! The other day, I take a seat in an area where there must have been 9 empty seats. And some 'ill' numbskull sits down beside me. I coughed towards them then moved....out with the bad air. :)

Julie Pippert said...

I'm no germaphobe but I have my Skeeves, as I've admitted. Urgent care clinics and hospitals are high on the list.

The times we've had to take the kids? I make everyone come home, strip, go through a decontamination shower and boil the objects that went with us.

I think it's PTSD from catching a nearly antibiotic resistant strain of pneumonia from the L&D ward.

Kudos to you for taking the wife and hope she's feeling better!!

See? This is why I mention you on the blog today. Come by. :)

Julie
Using My Words

Heather said...

I've never been given the option of a shot. I think I'd rather have that.

My kids are sick again, I'm still coughing (but not as much)...and it's just the first part of November. This winter is going to be a loooong one.

Hope Charli is feeling better already.

rick said...

I don't understand the whole concept of letting hospital visitors come into the rooms of sick people. They should have two-way web cams on each bed so people could visit from home. Visitors wouldn't be contaminated, and the room would stay sterile.

mom said...

I am SO sorry to hear Charli is--was---sick!!!! I can only say I hope she is O.K. now. I wish there was something I could do---but since I can't, I'll say a prayer that she gets well right away!!!

Bill said...

All I can say is you know Charlie is sick, when she is not working!!! I have NEVER seen her do nothing.

Jennine said...

Nothing says "love" like sitting in a waiting room with your ill spouse except for maybe stirring dead goldfish back to life.

Feel better Charli, ya poor kiddo.

Mooselet said...

I hope Charli is feeling better very soon. I would've gone with the needle option, too - over and done with. I hate being sick.

The best way to get sick is to let your preschooler - or borrow one if you don't have one handy - start school or daycare. They'll bring home every germ known and you'll build up your immune system really quickly.

Impetua said...

I have a similar immune system to yours, which curiously came into being only after I gave birth. The baby and I are both disgustingly healthy. Knock on wood.

That being said, I did once pick up pinkeye from looking at magazines in an urgent care waiting room. (This was before the baby came along.)

The moral of this story is, take reading material with you, God knows you'll need it and that way you won't have to touch anything there. Just don't set your book down or touch anything.

Gale said...

Jeff, 'rule of thumb' - do not make the wife the butt of your jokes....get it? I crack myself up..bwah ahahahaha

VE said...

Did they give you one of those restaurant light/beeper devices they give to those that are going to wait in the cue for the next 17 hours? That's the special kind of care that makes you feel so attended to at urgent cares!

I think a good blood letting should cure you're exposure by-the-way.

Jeff said...

gale - The saddest part of the whole thing was that I wasn't able to use the line... "Ok honey, bend over and show me your smile!"

deborah said...

Sadly, Jeff, your time WILL come around; and because you are of the man species, it's really going to hurt. You will remember ALL of this. I hope she feels better.

My kids, and Frank all got sick last week; and graciously gave it to me. Gee, thanks guys. Would yo like it, Jeff?

Whit said...

I'm allergic to penicillin and shots in the butt.

The Junk Drawer said...

This reminds me. I gotta start taking my Airborne tablets. That stuff is magic, at least it's worked so far. Last year, all but one of my co-workers was sick at various points and I never picked anything up from them. I know I sound like a commercial, but don't leave your house without your Airborne!

Mom Thumb said...

Ugh. I had to take Jess to urgent care, on a SUNDAY, a couple of months ago. I could practically feel the germs leaping onto my body. I didn't touch anything and when we got home, I boiled my hands anyway.

Hope Charlie feels better soon!

Jeff said...

Linda - Yes, Charli started feeling better the next morning. The same day I had to take Roseanna right back to the SAME clinic because she had strep too! I told the doctor that I thought it would be a miracle if I came out of this unscathed. He told me I was right. No kidding - UGH!

mom said...

NO__NO___NO---not our darling Roseanna too!!!Gees!!!! But I am glad to hear Charli is getting well fast. Thank you, God!!!! Bill is down and out on the couch today---says he's coming down with a cold. He's coughing and sneezing, and moaning and groaning, so I do believe him!!!Please, God--let it miss me!!!