Sunday, December 02, 2007

Mission: Critical!

Heads up everybody, I'm going dark.

No, not my hair color - it's too late for that. I'm talking about not being online for the next week or two. And for a very good reason...

WE'RE DOWN TO ONE BATHROOM!!!

And EVERY one of you with 3 or more teenagers knows just how serious this is. I simply MUST have our main bathroom up and functional as soon as possible and I ain't stopping till I'm done. It's that simple.

So what happened to our bathroom you ask?

Well, it all started out with a little discoloration in the linoleum by the front corner of our bathtub. This led to my wife's desire to "see what's underneath that weird spot" even though I've repeatedly tried to warn her to never look underneath weird spots.

Sure enough I foolishly peeled away the flooring, only to discover this...

the black mold of death

This of course only left one course of action - remove the subfloor and see how far it had creeped. Which is exactly what I did here after I first removed the vanity and blue sink.


click on the picture to see what had creeped under the toilet

Naturally, simply replacing the subfloor and rolling out new linoleum wasn't going to cut it. No, we're going to go ALL the way and put in new ceramic floor tile, a fancy new white sink in a cherry wood cupboard and most importantly, a WHITE toilet!

See, we can hide the blue bathtub behind a curtain, but blue sinks and toilets are kind of... well, unhidable - and after 15 years of looking at them it's time to move on.

So that's why you won't see me for a few days, because I'll be working on this with every spare second to my name. Because for every morning I get all of us out of the house using only one bathroom without murdering one of my kids, I consider myself lucky.

But unless I finish this soon, you're liable to see my mug shot in the paper.

* * * * * * * * * *

Want to see something else that keeps showing up? Stop on over to Central Snark and see I wrote about those magical mystical Virgin Visions © that keep appearing all over the place!

26 comments:

Gale said...

You lived that long with a blue toilet and sink? You should have looked sooner. Have fun and word of advice? Don't spare the change on the linoleum.

Mooselet said...

Having grown up in a house with a pink toilet, you have my sympathy. But that mold??? I enlarged that first photo and looking at that was worse than your maggots of some months ago. Ick!!!!

One bathroom, huh? Good luck with that. Betcha have even less hair when it's all done. :-)

Anonymous said...

Mom said
I am so sorry----I feel so bad you have this problem!!! And what a poor time of the year to have to tackle it!! Wish there was some way I could help. Hey---=how about sending the kids down to the apartment for morning showers? No one is there then--right?

Anonymous said...

It sounds like you have a three flush bathroom job.

Jeff said...

gale - Changing out the blue stuff was not a huge priority to us (obviously), but now since we're ripping up the place, it's a great time to do it. Oh, and not to worry about the linoleum... we're going with ceramic floor tile!

mooselet - Yeah, but did you enlarge the 2nd picture? It's even worse!

mom - Did you forget, that shower is now a storage room. But you're right, no one is showering in the storage room in the morning.

anon - Is that like a royal pain in the ass?

Mooselet said...

GAH!!!! My eyes!!! Dammit, you shouldn't do that to a person right after lunch. How horrid!

Heather said...

And here I thought we were the only ones with the blue toilet and sink...AND bathtub.

I'm happy for you that you get to update...sorry about the reason though!

Good luck!

Whit said...

Why do you need another bathroom? You still have an outside, right?

andi said...

Ugh. That sounds like no fun at all. Best of luck on the renos.

andi from Poot and Cubby

deborah said...

WHOA! What is with the blue toilet??!!! Time to call Holmes on Holmes!! You have some serious issues there, Jeff. Black AND blue in the bathroom is more than the typical handyman can usually handle. sorry. You seriously may want to call in a professional. just a thought. look up www.hgtv.com/what's with my bath???gag me a toilet brush!

neva said...

wow (and ewww), such drama! that said, i'm thanking our lucky stars you had time to whip out THIS HEAVENLY/HILARIOUS SNARK POST before entering the pits of Bathroom Hell.

good luck with those renovations, Jeff -- i suppose you should be grateful that the Black Mold of Death was confined to such a small(ish) space. and seriously, getting rid of that blewww toilet is a definite bonus. : )

Sandy said...

We might...but the question is, will you look like Gary Busey?

We'll miss you.

VE said...

Don't worry...I'll turn the lights out to blogdome when everyone has left...

Mama Drama Jenny said...

But wait! Blue toilets are totally about to come back in fashion!

Jeff said...

mooselet- I warned you!

heather - Yeah, they kind of came in a complete set back then. I shudder to think about the pinks ones.

whit - Sorry, I'm not much of a squatter, so that doesn't appeal to me.

andi - Thanks, but what could possibly go wrong?

deborah - I am not a remodeler, but I play one on my blog.

neva - I'm glad I was able to whip it out too. The post I mean. Geez. You people and your bathroom humor.

sandy - That's actually a picture of Nick Nolte, but Gary is pretty scary too. They're actually interchangeable.

ve - Thanks. A please light a match too.

jenny - No problem. Just send me your address and it's all yours.

G said...

How did I know it was the deadly Nick Nolte mold strain? Good luck with the reno. Look at the bright side - at least you know that you're contractor is honest.

Divine post in The Snark.

Windyridge said...

The kids have their own bathroom but still manage to end up in ours! I feel for ya.

Carla said...

Don't you just blog from work anyway? They have a bathroom there don't they? Unless you've been tapped to remodel that one too.

There's a cool new procedure where you can get your bathtub repainted, you should check it out.

Julie Pippert said...

It's never a simple or easy fix.

GOOD LUCK and see you when you resurface (with photos I hope).

Julie
Using My Words

Stepping Over the Junk said...

the three of us using one bathroom is something. and my girls are only 5 and 7!

Diesel said...

Yikes.

When my wife and I bought our first house, there was a mushroom growing in the bathroom. No joke.

Good luck. Oh, and we've been living with 1 bathroom for 2 years while our addition (with 3 more bathrooms) is being built.

Elizabeth said...

We have a blue toilet and sink and bath tub too! It's better than our neighbors, their's is purple!
Good Luck!

deborah said...

funny, I know all about the kids ending up in OUR bathroom dilemma. My bath is in need of a makeover. I redo theirs to a pretty T, and where do they end up? um Hmmm

Jeff said...

Wow, I'm amazed at how many "blue-sinkers" there are out there. I'm thinking I need to put out a survey to find out how many people are truly infected - er, I mean affected with colored bathroom components.

Caron said...

Blue fixtures must have been all the rage here. My folks have the same bathroom. Well, minus the mold.

wayabetty said...

Oh I feel for you Jeff! But then again, you boys can go in the woods, can't you?!