Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Mrs. Malaprop - December Edition

Last month I had a ton of fun with my Malaprop post.

Lots of people left their favorite mangled sayings in the comments section and by email, and good times were had by all.

SO, let's see what we ended up with shall we?

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First we'll start with one of my submissions. Just last week I overheard a woman at the mall complaining to her friend about a bridesmaid dress she was embarrassed to have to wear when she proclaimed,
"I'm going to feel totally sub-conscious in this thing."

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Deborah had this to say about a beauty she heard from her doctor...

This was actually overheard by my doc at the infusion center, I almost blew my ginger ale out my nose. Ok he is from a Latin American country so insert the accent...
"I've been going at this twenty-four, SEVENTEEN!"

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Catherine was clever enough to slip in this tongue-in-cheek malaprop while claiming she would get back to us with her own submissions later...
"I can't think of any right off the tip of the iceberg, but I will certainly be back soon."

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Neva's son is responsible for this ingenious statment... "I know you think I'm not the brightest leaf on the tree".

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Jenny actually admits to letting this one fly out of her mouth...

I once "caught two birds with one hand".

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Andi's husband overheard this delicious gem at a liquor store...
Woman 1: Have you tried that stuff?
Woman 2: Yes. It's definitely a required taste.

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Carla heard a coworker bring this one to life...
"If my grandmother were alive today, she'd be rolling over in her grave."

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Mom Thumb has gathered up a whole batch of these tasty treats...
"Got up on the wrong side of the tracks."
"I'll have his head on a silver spoon."
"
There's more than one way to change your spots."
"
Nothing is certain but death and the light at the end of the tunnel."

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Sandy's husband's boss once banged out this one...
"The calls are just coming in gang-bangs!"

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Elizabeth is responsible for this mix up...
I used to say "It's half of one, six dozen of another" until it was pointed out to me that those are not similar at all, in fact they are two very different things.

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Emma teamed up with herself to bring us this one...
"There is no 'team' in 'I'."

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Don't worry if you don't see your submission here, I'm going to keep posting these every month. So make sure to let me know if you've heard any new ones. Oh, and don't forget, you can click the box in my sidebar to send me your favorite Malaprop ANY time you hear one, and I promise to print it in a future edition!

16 comments:

Mama Drama Jenny said...

Six dozen of another.

*snort*

That's totally the kind of thing I'd say for years and never realize I was saying it wrong.

Catherine said...

*slaps forehead* - gah! I had put off and then forgotten about sending some more malaprops your way. I will, I will!

I just wrote myself a rejoinder and pilastered it up on my commuter scream.

Gale said...

Is there a Mr. Malaprop?

VE said...

They all sound like good advice to me. But then again, I never did think normally.

Julie Pippert said...

That's hilarious!! I like the liquor store and dead grandmother needing to come alive to roll in her grave. Does that make me freaky and creepy? LOL

Julie
Using My Words

Mom Thumb said...

Haha - I feel sub-conscious a lot of the time!

Dan said...

Jeff, I LOVE malaprops. You and I are like two peas in a pot.

Bah-dum-bum.

Sornie said...

Those messed up statements make me somewhat sad but I am laughing too.

Marie said...

And don't count your chickens before they lay golden eggs. But that kind of makes sense. Right? No. Hmm.

andi said...

Those are fabulous. Too bad I'm so sub-conscious right now or I'd laugh louder (ha ha). I do have a question - how do calls come in gang-bangs? That one killed me.

And thanks for including mine. :)

andi from Poot and Cubby

Diesel said...

Excellent. My parents have a friend who used to "gouge himself" at banquets.

Windyridge said...

It's been a lot of fun reading these. BTW my sheep wear coats to protect their fleeces from hay and grain contamination. We spinners don't like to spend hours picking out what we call affectionately, VM, or vegetable matter.

Jeff said...

jenny - What, the malaprop or *snort*?

catherine - All right then, I'm going to hold you in it.

gale - No. Unfortunately he died of embarrassment.

ve - What, you? Ya think?

julie - I say go with it... "freaky creepy Julie" has a certain ring to it.

mom thumb - Did you say that or think that?

dan - Look who's painting the kettle black!

sornie - I'm glad you stopped by to laugh over here. Thanks!

marie - Or is it don't count your eggs all in one basket? You're right, who knows.

andi - We'll have to ask Sandy's husband to explain that one.

diesel - I'll bet that got messy huh?

windy - See this is why I love blogging. You just learn SO many cool things!

Anonymous said...

My mother complained to the shoe store that my sister came home with her feet in her hands.-Bill

Dan said...

That picture of Mrs Malaprop looks like she wants to eat my soul.

Jeff said...

bill - I've always felt bad for your mother, what with having you for a son and all.

dan - Did you mean "eat my soul" or "eat my sole"? Heh.