They say your eyes are the window to your soul.
Microsoft however, has created a window to my anger.
The other day I was attempting a huge file download and my browser session kept crashing (you can read about it here at Central Snark). Now I don't know about you, but when I'm having a problem with my Microsoft application, the last thing in the world I need is this window popping up with some phony concern about "Oh, please tell me what happened so I can improve blah blah blah." That just pisses me off even more.
I know, you probably think I'm overanalyzing this. Just click "Don't Send" and get over it already is what you're saying. And that's what most people do. But I'm not going to let Microsoft off the hook so easily for this one. It may look like an innocent response to an application problem, but underneath, this familiar little window is really saying much much more.
Let's take a look at how I really feel about it, shall we?
Oh, Explorer needs to close does it? Well you know what Microsoft?... I encounter problems every day and I don't just shut down at the drop of a hat. Grow up you whiny baby and deal with your problems like a monopoly.
And "We are sorry"? Oh really. Somehow I have a hard time believing there's someone sitting in an office in Redmond feeling pangs of remorse over this. Call me skeptical but that's just how I see it.
Gee, you think? How about telling me something I don't know... like WHERE THE HELL MY FILES ARE THAT GOT TRASHED IN MY DOWNLOAD!
Please? Please? Now you're begging me to "please tell Microsoft about this problem"? How about I beg for this from you.... Please don't patronize me with your pathetic attempt to care.
Snnnntttt!!! Sorry, I just shot milk out of my nose there - which actually is a very painful experience. But not as painful as having your crappy software crash a file I was downloading for the last 1/2 hour. And do you really expect us to believe you have someone monitoring the In-box for these reports? How stupid do you think we are?
Oh yeah, I forgot... stupid enough to use your products. Nevermind.
Listen, I know you're just trying to be polite and professional and all that, but come on - it's bullshit. People are smarter than this. Let's face it - the Windows error recovery process sucks. We know it, you know it, so why not admit it? Or at a minimum at least have the balls to create a window that reflects what's really happening.
I think this version of your error window would be a little more honest.
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