You gotta be careful when you joke about some topics.
For instance, if I make fun of Lent I run two risks...
1. offending the millions of Catholic readers that flock to this site for spiritual guidance
2. being struck down by lightning while I'm in the shower in what would surely be reported in the newspaper as "a bizarre and unique accident."
However... even though this should be considered reverent subject matter, I believe I have earned the right to make fun of it because:
- I was born and raised Catholic and am a card-carrying member today
- I attended a Catholic grade school where we went to church EVERY day, and then because there was the chance that we still hadn't suffered enough - again on Sunday.
- In the last 25 years I have given generously to the Catholic church, thus earning me enough Cath-o-credits to at least get away with this one silly jab.
So on to my point... What is Lent?
Lent: Remembering the ultimate sacrifice one extraordinary man made for all of humanity.
Lent: Honoring this incredible gesture through our own personal acts of sacrifice.
Lent: Filling our faces with grilled salmon at Outback, stuffing ourselves like the lobster tails and crab cakes we order at Red Lobster, and inhaling our favorite family-sized cheese and veggie pizza at Pizza Hut!
Oh, the big guy must be sooo impressed. I can hear him talking to St. Peter right now. "Hey Pete, check out this guy. He just had his 4th order of Fish Nibblers(TM) and never once touched a Slyder to his lips. What a martyr, what a saint!"
Ahh, but it doesn't stop there. Incredibly, we continue to stretch our sacrificial limits even further. All around me are signs of respect for this most sacred time: People giving up drinking, smoking and fine imported chocolates. People vowing to subdue their road rage and not flip off old ladies who drive too slowly. People tossing the homeless a quarter instead of pretending they don't exist.*
Lent. A serious time. A time for guilt, quiet reflecting and... and... and... "All You Can Eat Friday Fish Fries!"
Now excuse me while I go beg for forgiveness. I may be a smartass, but I'm NOT stupid!
*acts of martyrdom expire after 40 days