God help any of you who have teenage boys... who have discovered Axe body spray.
It starts innocently enough when they're about 14 or so. Your son walks by you on the way out the door and you smell it - a sweet scent you haven't smelled before - kinda nice actually. You smile because your son is growing up and he seems to be concerned about his personal hygiene.
But then before you know it, something goes horribly wrong.
A few weeks later he walks by again and you wince. Instead of the soft faint "hint" of a pleasant cologne, it now appears that he has figured out how to install an Axe dispenser directly into the shower water line.
Um, yeah... was there some kind of Axe malfunction this morning son? Because right now all the hair in my nose has been burned clean and the lenses on my eyeballs have melted. I'm just saying... you might want to check the nozzle on that can.
But here's what really did me in...
A few months ago I took my son and 4 of his friends down to an indoor skate park about an hour away. While they were doing their thing I went shopping in the nearby town and returned 3 hours later to pick them up. When they got into the car, I immediately started coughing.
What the?.... Oh God, please no... Not all FIVE of you!
Apparently, after skating hard and sweating for 3 hours the boys started to stink. And what do you do when you smell rank? Why you douse yourself in Axe, that's what!
So now I'm trapped in a car in the middle of winter, full of pubescent teenage boys wreaking of b.o. and Axe, that smells like someone threw a perfume grenade into a locker room.
I don't care if it IS 10 below outside boys... these windows be goin down!
And that's how we rode home. I didn't like it and the boys didn't like it either - but I didn't really have much choice...
it's impossible to drive when your eyeballs have melted.