Thursday, April 10, 2008

Dawn of the Dead

Bless me father for I have sinned...

... if you consider murder an actual sin that is.

Last October I wrote this story about how my boys bought their sister some nice little fishies for her birthday, and how instead of putting them in an aquarium we decided to let them enjoy the natural setting of our backyard pond, and how quickly they multiplied from 4 to about 15, and how confused we were about what to do with them at the end of the year before winter set in.

Well, apparently in my world "confused" means - do nothing and hope they beat the odds of freezing into solid fish-cicles, because that's exactly what I did.

And how did that work out? See for yourself... this is what we found yesterday morning.

After the frozen block of ice we used to call a pond finally thawed out this week (yes I know it's mid April thank you) this little guy broke free from his icy trap and floated to the surface.

And then another one yesterday afternoon.

And still another one last night!

NO... STOP! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

It's like some kind of B horror movie where dead people keep popping out the ground and showing up on the surface to haunt the irresponsible people who caused them to die in the first place. No wait, it's not like a movie at all... THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT IS!!!

Crap. I wonder how many Hail Mary's I'll have to say to get out of this one.

* * * * *

You'll die laughing at humor-blogs.com

29 comments:

deborah said...

I think that's awesome! I can't wait to dig a pond! any more grand ideas on that?

Heather said...

Way to go Fish-Killer!

To be fair, it WAS a pretty harsh winter. Is it over yet?

Mrs. R said...

We've had the same problem in our pond, except it's not frozen icky dead fishies we find in the spring. It's frozen icky dead moles.

Yet another reason I hate winter.

rick said...

On the bright side, dead fish do make excellent garden fertilizer.

Jeff said...

deborah - Sorry, that was my last great idea along those lines.

heather - You're joking right? You HAVE seen the forecast for tonight haven't you?

mrs. r - You have a strange way of dealing with them. I always have my moles removed at the Dr.'s office.

rick - Funny you should say that. That's exactly where they ended up.

Susan said...

I'm picturing the scene in Poltergeist where the dead bodies keep popping up in the newly-dug pool! You didn't put your pond over an Indian burial ground, did you?

Bill said...

What happened to the CPR you used to revive goldfish in an earlier blog?

Alice said...

If it's any consolation, I've been getting a wiff of dead-fish by the pond today while mowing. I'll let you know if we get any floaters.

Phil said...

Wow, duck-napper AND fish-killer!

Ed (zoesdad) said...

This is reportable to the SPCA and PETA, right?

cathouse teri said...

Well, about fifteen, I would guess. :)

You are so bad.
You may even have to wear a scarlet letter "F" on all of your clothing from here on out.

It's only fair.

Anette said...

Sorry for your loss! Maybe they should have had a fish tank after all! On the other hand since they was so reproductive they must ave had a fshort and happy life in your pond!

Julie Pippert said...

Hmm, I think it might be "depraved indifference." Is that murder 2? You could be out in 25...

As for your 8-10" of snow? Isn't your state nickname "The Great White North?"

I always assumed they meant the people but I can see now it's the weather. ;)

If you lived down here you'd be brown and happy like the rest of us in the sub-tropics.

April said...

I have two alternative theories:
Natural Selection - see? There's definite benefits to being a Darwinist!
Suicide - their sin, not yours!

Doozie said...

whoopsie daisies....that's gonna leave a mark

Kathy said...

I'm sorry. We can't be friends anymore. Murderer!

Carla said...

Crimeany, there just fish, fry em up and have them for dinner tomorrow night. That is Friday you know.

G said...

I'd say one for each fish, Murderer!

andi said...

Hmm, fish-cicles. I'll bet that's a product no one will be making any time soon. Blech.

Anonymous said...

Next trime I recomend plugging your basement toilet and filling it to the brim to winter your fish. Carp are BOTTOM feeders you know.

bon bon said...

there's the option of changing your religion and removing the guilt of killing the fish. that's clearly the easiest solution here.

the amoeba said...

I'm still trying to figure out how 99 cent feeder goldfish could possibly have laid eggs and produced fry that same year. Usually it takes longer than a season for fingerlings to reach breeding size, and then you don't generally get four babies. More like four gazillion.

But then, I never had any luck with goldfish. Even without the option of making fishsickles of them.

Gale said...

I have been told that I am going to hell on roller skates. I would estimate you are going by slide. Which makes me wonder if hell is just one big play ground.

Anonymous said...

Actually amoeba, they were a $1 total because they were each 25 cents. And the babies were born like 2 weeks after we got them, we assume there were a gazillion but well nature took care of them...Mrs. h

deborah said...

this is funny; well not ha-ha, but you know; my daughters tow goldfish died yesterday. (finally), I couldn't believe they were actually still living. these were state fair fish!

Karen MEG said...

So these poor things were also "Fish and toss" tortured before given the false sense of security in the pond of death???!!

You are an evil, evil man ;)

Julia said...

OMG! I was thinking exactly what Susan was, regarding the scene in Poltergeist, where all the skeletons come popping up. Only to make your experience more like the movie, you'd had to have been in the pool, gasping in horror as each dead fishy popped up around you. And maybe one goes in your gaping mouth!

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

JD at I Do Things

Riayn said...

Now I have visions of zombie fish rising up from previously frozen ponds and attacking mankind.

Megan Kylee said...

Hmm, maybe you could get a horror movie deal out of this.