Saturday, April 26, 2008

It's a bit drafty in here

Every blogger has them...

...story seeds, half-baked blogs and partial posts in the "draft" section of their editor. Right now I've got 49 different draft ideas in various stages of completion.

Well, I think it's time to clean out the closet. Since none of these posts are complete enough to be published on their own, I thought I'd combine some of these together here and close a few of these cold cases once and for all.

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From a recent Yahoo headline:

If cutting all the fat kids in half is good news, I'd hate the hear the bad news!

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Why?

Why is it the things that are best for you are always so hard? Why can't laying around eating potato chips be the best thing for your body? Would that be too much to ask?

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Non-reality TV

Is it just me or does it totally drive you nuts when the investigators on shows like CSI can recover impossibly obscure information with just a few clicks on the computer? This is a scene from an actual show I watched recently:
"Show me a satellite image of Chesapeake Bay from 1999. (click, clickety, click) Good! Now, give me the addresses of all the houses that have tin roofs within this area."
GAH! Here's another peeve... why do they still have to use that stupid "555" prefix on telephone numbers? Here I am completely invested in a TV or movie plot, suspending the fact that what I'm watching is fiction, and as soon as they whip out the "555" I am immediately transported back to reality and the moment is ruined. They seriously can't come up with a better fake number than that?

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Deep thoughts

If you walked into a public restroom and heard the toilet running, would you walk over and jiggle the handle to stop it?

I did.

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Mom, I'll explain this to you later

Don't know where this is from or how long it's been around, but it sure gave me a chuckle.



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For complete laughs, head on over to humor-blogs.com!

26 comments:

Heather said...

That video clip is great!

Er, I mean I don't get it...

Carla said...

Dude, sorry about the weather..I have not control over it, anywhere.

Anonymous said...

It's so funny-like you read my mind on all of those things! And it does jolt you back to reality and ruin the show! Where did the
"555" number come from, anyway? And how come on "Vegas" they can click into ANYTHING and ANYPLACE in the world--and zoom in on whatever they are looking for, in just seconds?! But my biggest one is how people break into an office, click on the computer and get right in, instantly! I can hardly get into my own computer!
good one brother! sis

Student Teacher said...

Ahaha...what a ho!

Alice said...

Great clip! What show is that from?

Mom Thumb said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I found a couple of lists where I had scribbled possible post subjects. They never even made it to the draft stage.

I, too, despise the 555.

VE said...

That's why I wear my new patented black light glasses around everywhere...you can't imagine all of what I see...

My favorite non-realistic computer thing is from Independence Day when they so easily upload a virus into an alien's computer. Yeah right, it's hard enough just interfacing Microsoft and Apple let alone some alien technology...

Jeff said...

heather - I'll have my mom explain it to you.

carla - Still, I can hear you laughing at our expense.

sis - Those "instant computers" really are an insult to our intelligence. Just once I'd like to see them complaining that their stupid internet connect was too slow.

student teacher - Indeed, but a funny one at that ;-)

alice - I'm not really sure, but I'd like to know if anyone else does.

mom thumb - Really. What's wrong
with 867-5309?

ve - You're right, that was pretty ridiculous. But at least that movie is clearly science fiction and doesn't try to portray a realistic scenario.

Mother Theresa said...

I've got a few drafts lying around too, but I don't think they'll ever see the light, unlike some things in that clip. :D

Michelle said...

OMG,that was hilarious. And sadly, I didn't see it coming...

But wait, there's a draft editor? You mean I can actually start writing something and come back to it later? Yeah, I need to head over to that bloggerbuster site, except I need to start with the 101 courses :)

Kathy said...

I think laying around eating donuts and chips takes years to turn your body into a rock hard specimen. I'm still working on it.

Right up there with impossible TV is Fox's "24" where Jack Bauer's sidekicks can download entire secret blueprints to his PDA that never needs charging, in ten seconds flat. Uh, yeah. So sure.

JD at I Do Things said...

Great way to clean out some of those drafts. I have a bunch too. I think some of them are going to end up in a "clip show" at some point.

I don't wanna be around when you explain that clip to your Mom. It was funny, tho.

JD at I Do Things

Jeff said...

theresa - Clever :-) Did you call yourself Mother Theresa just for me?

michelle - Sure, when you're writing your post just click "Save Now" instead of publish. Then at the top of the screen where all your posts are listed you can select "All" "Drafts" or "Published". Choosing All or Drafts will show you your saved drafts.

kathy - Impossible TV would make a great post. I think we should expand on that idea.

jd - Ooh, I like the idea of clip show! Wait, what is that again?

doozie said...

oh goodness I think I awoke the dead laughing at that video. I like your random post

Julie Pippert said...

Oh the YAHOO! headline OH! Oh! ACK!

Whit said...

That video is too funny.

April said...

I'll have to remember this trick because it works beautifully!

It was a week of "headlines." My favorite LA Times headline this week: "Man found dead on 10 freeway. All freeway lanes remain open."

Bill said...

It looks like she was out with Bill Clinton!!

Maureen said...

LOL!!!! And here I thought HE was going to be the one to light up...

Jeff said...

doozie - Careful of waking the dead. You don't need zombies lurking around your place too.

julie - Ya, every now and then Yahoo lets a poorly worded bi-line onto the page. Good for a laugh tho!

whit - I agree. Anyone know what it's from?

april - Hmmm, I guess the body wasn't in the way huh? Well, I suppose they readers do need to know how the traffic is flowing.

bill - Makes sense... Bill should have plenty of free time now that Hillary is on the road so much.

maureen - I agree. That was a good one. :-)

Gette said...

I did see it coming, but I still laughed!

Jake Titus said...

A: cutting kids in half saves the district money. They don't need desks, they just lay around on the floor. They also save money because they don't need frogs to cut up in Biology class. "Billy, today it's your turn. We'll need a leg and your testicles."

B: Become a sumo wrestler. They get to eat potato chips all day. It's the best things for their body.

C: What do you mean CSI is fiction! I thought it was a documentry.

D: Because 666 freaked the religous right wingers out to much.

E: No, if I heard a toliet running I'd chase after it and tackle it. Friggen' toliet! Who does he think he is?

PG said...

I'm with Maureen, I thought for sure it was going to be the guy for sure.

None of my drafts are an entertaining as this set, nice work!

cathouse teri said...

That is so funny that you mention this, because I was so tired of saving so many partial posts that today, I just decided to post my new incomplete one as a partial!

Love the "fat kids in half" one. Oh and how you pointed out the "clickety click" power of the CSI! :)

G said...

That always gets me too! I mean three clicks and you found out all of that! Up until now, I felt so inadequate about not being able to research as quickly, so thanks for that. :)

I'll have to check the vido clip later - TTFN!

Windyridge said...

The 555 drives me nuts!