Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Yeah, but will it run on skim?

Here's something to think about...

If your car could suddenly run on milk instead of gas, it would cost less to load up your grocery cart with 16 gallons of milk and dump them into your tank every time you needed to fill up. Isn't that nuts?

The same thing goes for Mountain Dew - or any other kind of 2 liter soda when it's on sale for .99 per 2 liter bottle.

But you know what really sucks? Right now it would be cheaper to pour 170 cans of beer into your tank (at least the 30-packs of Schmidt that are on sale here*) than it would be to fill it up with gas.

And let's face it - that's just wrong.

*assuming you consider Schmidt an actual beer

* * * * *

You can get all the gas you need at humor-blogs.com

28 comments:

cathouse teri said...

That is some seriously bad news.

April said...

I love the idea of a car running on Mountain Dew.

Memarie Lane said...

My husband is a car salesman, and he says the 2009 models are the most fuel efficient ever. They've got pedals, and they've reduced the number of wheels to 2 for better efficiency. Then they stripped off the frame and engine and took out most of the seats to make it lighter for easier pedaling. It's revolutionary!

Groovy Mom said...

Hmmm, I wonder if I could get my minivan to run on beer.

Sornie said...

Calling Schmidt beer is like calling vodka sold in a plastic bottle good. For shame.

Jeff said...

teri - You mean that part where I said Schmidt is a beer?

april - I wonder if it would give it more pep?

marie - Hopefully they don't still cost $20K!

groovy mom - If you could it would take less to fill it up because, you know... IT'S LESS FILLING! Rowr.

sornie - Or Boone's Farm a wine?

Whit said...

That would be great if cars ran on milk. The cows owe us after that methane thing.

cathouse teri said...

Yep. Way scary.

Heather said...

Yeah, and the sad thing is, milk isn't that cheap anymore either!

Drowsey Monkey said...

Unfortunately if cars ran on milk...the cost of milk would be astronomical! That's the government for ya ;)

Alice said...

Instead of making me reflect on the price of gas, your post just made me grab a beer outta the fridge. Thanks!

Bill said...

Wake up Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, you are in charge of both houses. We need an energy policy, social security reform, and a medical plan now, and you have the ball in your court.

Jake Titus said...

A pee car would be great. Then we could all just drink the milk/soda/beer and recycle the byproduct. Shoot, with my beer reminants alone I could commute from Napa to NYC and back everyday!

Jeff said...

whit - Hey, if they could make cars run on Methane it would be a win-win!

teri - At $10 for a 30-pack, it doesn't get much scarier.

heather - Tell me about it. And we drink about 5 gals a week around here too. Yikes!

drowsey monkey - We'd all have to get our own cows. We'd definitely need bigger yards for that.

alice - Glad I could inspire you!

bill - That's good input. Do you think they read my blog?

jake - Somebody needs to invent a Mr. Fusion, like in Back to the Future. That should take care of our energy problems.

Sandy said...

MMMmmmm....beer.h

VE said...

Is it like buying Super to run it on chocolate milk or strawberry yoo hoo?

Karl said...

Now that's a, er, sobering thought.

Zhu said...

How about if you fill it up with a fancy Starbucks drink? Like an iced white mocha no whipped cream skinny latte?

Oh well, at least it distracting me from the fact my wallet hurts...

Michelle said...

Jeff, were you trying to make me cry tonight? That was just plain mean to point out!

Carla said...

Most vehicles should just run on tears now, cuz that's all we have left. whaaa

Mitch McDad said...

don't even joke about wasting beer like that. I'd rather pay $8 / gallon for gas.

Jonny's Mommy said...

A car running on Jolt...that would be cool.

Wow. You did some good math there. Youse smart.

I never would have figured that out. Funny post...as always.

Anonymous said...

It's simple supply and demand. Until the US opens up new drilling fields, the price will continue to rise-- thanks to places like China who have stumbled on to oil.

Jeff said...

sandy - Why do I think Homer wouldn't like the idea of pouring 170 cans of beer into his car?

ve - Sure. Ovaltine... Octane... same thing.

karl - Exactly, because if you poured all your beer into your car you would be sober.

zhu - Don't even think about it... the only thing higher than the price of gas right now is a Starbucks coffee!

michelle - So sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone. I really do need to quit writing these bummer-type posts.

carla - Very clever!

mitch - Don't worry, you may get your wish sooner than you think.

johnny's mom - "some" good math is the key word there. Please don't double-check my figures. ;-)

anon - Or, until the US oil companies refocus their missions on becoming "energy" companies instead, and concentrate on the discovery and manufacturing of alternative energy technologies and supplies. If Exxon would spent 1/10th of their profits on that research we could be off of oil in a few years.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

Milk might be cheaper, but not by much--have you seen the cost of moo juice lately?

JD at I Do Things said...

Um . . . you owe me a new car.

jerrychicken said...

Cost me just a tad under £90 to fill my car deisel tank today, thats what, about $170 ?

Its just a standard saloon, Ford Mondeo, deisel in the UK is around £1.30 a litre now, thats well over $10 a gallon.

Please send more fuel.

Windyridge said...

People are actually snapping up conversion kits and running their cars on used oil they get from Chineese restaurants and such.