Thursday, June 12, 2008

Dear Diary - Crossroads

The following contains excerpts from an old diary I wrote when I was 18. Although the stories in this series are true, I hereby claim no responsibility for the maturity of the material written during that time.

* * * * *

When last we heard from young Jeffrey, he was pining over the love of a forbidden woman. Oh the angst. Oh the heartbreak. Oh the hormones!

We now catch up with Jeffrey just 2 months later, fragile after having his heart ripped from his chest and squashed like a cockroach in the kitchen.

Let's read now as he slowly and cautiously dips his toes into the fresh waters of new romance.

The Casablanca amazes me more every time I play there - the crowd is so huge, and it's so packed & friendly and fun to play at and sooo many beautiful girls. Fri night I met Kim - Sue D*** from M***'s cabin's friend - and she is it - the girl I want to marry. That's pretty heavy but it's the first impression I got. I mean she's the absolute girl of my dreams and I am going to try to take her out. She's a filthy rich girl from the East End - at least her parents are but She's the best - Long brown sexy hair with big brown eyes - and a perfect figure - right out of Playboy. I could totally fall in love with her forever I think - we'll see.

click image to engorge

See what I mean? Vulnerable, yet horny. Selective, yet blind. Cautious, yet stupid.

This is the profile of a complex, yet confused young man.

Take this passage from the very next page for example. After not even one full year of college he is already facing another major life decision... whether he should continue his studies as a piano performance major, or abandon everything and head out on the road instead.

Here's how that played out:

I'm on Spring break. Somehow I don't think I want to go back Spring quarter and I don't think Mom or Dad will like it but I do think I won't go back - this year anyhow. It's not only impossible - it's dumb to go back. I would be wasting my money, classes and education for nothing - I can go later when I can devote more time to my classes and what I want to learn.

click image to hear me now and believe me later

Remarkably, Jeffrey made the right decision. After seven years on the road he met his beautiful wife in St. Louis, got married and eventually went back to college where he achieved a 4.0 GPA and graduated as Student of the Year. Following that he became a successful computer programmer and has since led a happy and productive life.

Jeffrey is currently a highly acclaimed blogger living in St. Cloud, MN where he enjoys performing with The Receders, building things out of 2x4s and making fun of himself.

* * * * *

Fall in love all over again at humor-blogs.com!

45 comments:

VE said...

Still...it would have been fun to be filthy rich, don't you think?

How does one get filthy being rich? Do you stop bathing? Washing your hands? I don't get it.

Kathy said...

"Vulnerable, yet horny. Selective, yet blind. Cautious, yet stupid."

And that is why I tear into these entries when you post them. It's a beautiful thing.

Memarie Lane said...

You are a brave man. I'm glad I'm a woman. I don't dare even open the box containing my journals from that period.

Alice said...

I'm really glad I didn't keep a journal at 18 because the entries would pain me now.

Keep'em coming! Your's are great stuff!

**************** said...

Awww, too cute. Have you always had these journals around or did you just discover them again? I know when I went through storage I found things I barely remember owning. Didn't find any journals though, thank God!

**************** said...

Hmmm, that last post was by me, Elizabeth. Not sure why it shows my name as ****************
I'll have to look into that...

Jeff said...

ve - I think I classified her as filthy rich because her parents had a water ski boat. Hey, to me that was close enough.

kathy - You're right, teen angst is a beautiful thing... to make fun of.

marie - Oh, you don't know what you're missing... and what you're depriving us of!

alice - Will do. I just wish you all would post yours. Doesn't "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" mean anything anymore?

***********Elizabeth - Hey, that's pretty cool! But to answer your question... I knew I had this journal but hadn't looked at it in decades. Then a few months ago I opened it up and "wha-la" - instant blog material!

Marla said...

I think I am brave enough to go dig out one of those journals... thanks for the inspiration

Heather said...

Hmmm. When I burned mine I hadn't considered the blog fodder I was destroying. Too bad there weren't blogs then. Or maybe it's good.

I love how you're all: This is the girl I'm going to marry. Or maybe not. We'll see. Whatevs.

Carla said...

YOU, are such a goof!

leigh said...

i didn't grow up with any brothers so i love reading your journals. it makes me believe that boys do grow up believing in silly happy ever after fantasies...until they get effed over and turn into gigantic a**holes.

Dorky Dad said...

I never had the attention span to keep a diary more than ... one day. I can't believe I've managed to blog this long, come to think of it.

Michelle said...

I'm going to try to keep boys like you away from my 2 year old daughter. ;) When she's older, I mean.

So out of curiosity, how did your parents take you not going back to college?

Drowsey Monkey said...

LOL

I love the dear diary portions of the program :)

deborah said...

thanks for the laughs. the rather, laughing out loud and hysterical kind. you really must feel comfortable with yourself NOW, to lay it all out there like that. Love the "building with 2 x 4" part.

Maureen said...

Hahahahaha! Jeff, that was great. Love the part that you describe her HAIR as sexy; and yes, big brown eyes ARE the best ;)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Brave of you to open up your diary. And awesome for us.

Jeff said...

marla - Yes! I'll be looking forward to it.

heather - Our journals were our blogs. We just didn't know it.

carla - I know you are but what am I?

leigh - Ah, that's too bad. You missed out on not having brothers. You haven't lived until you've had your big brother sit on your head and fart on your face.

dorky dad - I only wrote in this journal consistently for a few months. Then the entries got further apart and in the end the whole thing only spanned a few years. Still, there's some pretty entertaining stuff in there.

michelle - Good question. All I remember is them being supportive of me going on the road - but I'm sure they tried their best to talk me out of it. I probably blocked out those conversations. Let's ask them...

Mom/dad? Were you thrilled I quit college to go live on the road as a rock musician?

drowsey monkey - I'm glad. That's why I'm exposing myself like I am. In the literary sense that is.

deborah - Oh yeah, I'm comfortable with myself all right. In fact right now I'm practically falling asleep.

maureen - Sure, hair can be sexy. Especially on the girls in Playboy.

nanny goats - Thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying it :-)

Jessica said...

Found you through Drowsey...I'm enjoying your blog! :)

Wow...great segment, and you are brave sharing your 18 year old mind with the world. lol

I'm embarrassed when I read my old journals to myself. :)

Mrs. R said...

Like everyone else, I cringe when I read my old journals, so much respect to you for having the guts to post yours for the whole world to see and giving us all a laugh at your expense. :)

rick said...

I have to agree. On a rainy day there are very few activities that supply as much fun as farting on your little brothers head.

cathouse teri said...

Don't forget the part where he found his HOT wife in a wet t-shirt! Such a cool story. :)

I'm glad you recovered from the angst and it made you the strong and completely secure man you are today. A man who is willing to share his diary with us, is okay in my diary... er... book!

(No really. I don't write about you in my diary. I promise. And you are never wearing chaps. And nothing else.)

Bee Repartee said...

Now that I think about it, money is pretty filthy.

This post is priceless.

Sam said...

This is why I never write anything down!

Mom said...

It's pretty vague after all this time, how I felt when you said you wanted to go on the road, but I seem to remember telling you it was O.K. since that was what you were going to collage for---to learn music so you could be a professional musician. And here they were-- offering you a professional job!!

Dad said...

How many people can say that they traveled as far as you did at 19? That USO tour is something you will never forget. You should not ask me about school, because I was a drop-out from Head Start.

G said...

Boy do I love your parents, but I really LOVE these entries. You're an inspiration for going after what's in your heart and proof that it works out. Good for you. And damn this was another funny entry.

Jennine said...

Rick- If you ever wanted to relive your youth, you would SO fit in with my boys.

Plent of heads to fart on here...

Great post, Jeff.

Jeff said...

jessica - I was embarrassed by these stories too. That's exactly why I shared them. I'm all about making things uncomfortable for you all.

mrs r - No expense here. This place is free of charge!

rick - Rain or shine, you were always there for me bro.

teri - Ha! Chaps? That's too funny. Considering I'm 6'4 and 175 lbs soaking wet, I'm more of a chap stick.

bee - I'm willing to get a little dirty if necessary.

sam - Except in your blog of course ;-)

mom - Whew, I'm glad you remember it that way! Anyway, it all came out good in the end :-)

dad - You're right. My travels around the world are something I'll never forget. And one of these days I'll convert some video of those days to YouTube and share it here.

g - Crossroads are a funny thing. After you make a decision in life you can never go back and undo it. Fortunately, I didn't screw up after I made mine.

jennine - I have to believe you've heard your share of rip-roaring fun at your place. And smelled your share as well.

Gette said...

Sounds like I wanna read Teri's diary...

I can't stand to go back and read the stuff in my yearbooks, let alone digging out journals. The advanced writing portfolio is hidden somewhere far from the light of day.--although I did once pass of Rush lyrics as a poem...

Sornie said...

The biggest problem is that those filthy rich girls are always prudes in the bedroom. The universe worked well for you.

Anonymous said...

For more information on Jeff's post, please visit:

http://jenninejohnson.com/archives/464

Groovy Mom said...

"and a perfect figure - right out of Playboy. I could totally fall in love with her forever I think "

How very,...male of you. LOL! ;-)

Jeff said...

gette - That's funny. I remember thinking Rush was pretty deep myself.

sornie - You sound like you speak from experience. I wouldn't know ;-)

anonymous - Listen up everyone... no reason to go there. Nothing to see. Move on.

groovy mom - And I'm sure young Jeffrey would want to know... what's your point?

Bill said...

Readers cannot read your diary, so I would like to recommend two best sellers written by a great man. The first is "Big Russ and me" and the second is "Wisdom of our fathers". The author is Tim Russett, who died today at 58.

Anonymous said...

Great picture on Jennine, was that from your scrapbook?

Corrina said...

Wow... You are brave to post the inside of your teenage head. LOL! I'd never be that brave. Perhaps someday I'll get really drunk and do it anyway. Then I'll link to you in the post so you can share the blame. HA HA!

I hope you keep it up because these are my fave posts. :-)

Karen MEG said...

Is it just me, or is no one else really amazed that you actually kept a journal when you were that age???!!!
A sensitive man, young Jeff.
What a great flashback!

Jeff said...

bill - What a strange and sudden death. Don't know what he died from yet, but I'm sure we'll be hearing all about it over the next few days.

anon - No... somehow I stupidly left that evidence at my parent's house and my dad double-crossed me and mailed it to her. That's ok though, I like it when someone owes me. Bwahahahahaha!

corrina - Ah, be careful about BWI, you might not like what you read in the morning!

karen meg - Like I said in an earlier "Dear Diary," I was destined to be a blogger from the beginning.

Student Teacher said...

I love it when you post your teenage journal.

You made the right decision.

I would die to read the words "She's the woman I want to marry."

I need to write in my journal.

doozie said...

Did young Jeffrey look at playboys? other wise how would he know that one girl looked like a playboy image?

JD at I Do Things said...

Woo! Congrats on making the right decision.

As a bar band groupie, it's fun to read the thoughts of a guy I probably would've had a mad crush on. Even tho I didn't have a body out of Playboy.

ROCK ON!

JD at I Do Things

Windyridge said...

I love the diary stuff. Keep 'em comin'.
And what very impressive college grades. You obviously made all the right decisions in the end.

wayabetty said...

Ok, I don't know that many guys who kept diaries or if they did, admitted that they kept one in the first place AND THEN publish it on their blog! Do you know any guys like that?

April said...

Love these posts! You're such a sweet sap - see a Playboy woman and think that's who I want to marry :)