Thursday, July 10, 2008

High School Snoozicle Too

My dad is 6'4" so it stands to reason that his kids would end up fairly tall as well.

But as of my 9th grade this wasn't the case. Sure my sister was a bit taller than average for a girl, but my older brother was shorter than average - and I was just plain average.

But then something changed big time. Almost to the day I started the summer vacation after 9th grade my body started changing. Suddenly I couldn't eat enough, I was tired all.the.time. and I was bursting out of my pants like Bruce Banner on a bad day. Except of course instead of looking like the Incredible Hulk I looked more like Alfalfa, but that's not the point.

The point is, I grew a full 6 inches that summer and my body was taking a beating.

Sometime around mid summer I began to wake up in the middle of the night with severe calf cramps and as I would lie there screaming in pain, my loving mom would come rushing into my bedroom to help work them out. God bless her for that.

But instead of enjoying my newfound height, I felt like a freak. Like a human giraffe. Ironically it was only a year later that John Merrick cried out in angst: "I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!" I know of which he spoke.

So why am I telling you this story?

Because now that Charli is working every day and not waking the kids up in the morning, THIS is what I come home to at lunch time.

Still asleep from the night before
Every day.

Yes, Austin is doing the same thing - minus the leg cramps (so far). He eats like a horse, and just like I did, sleeps about 12 hours a night. And he's sprouting like a weed too. I know this because I'm one of those dorky parents who keeps growth measurements on the closet door frame - and since May, he has been growing at the rate of one inch per month.

Still, even though I'm sympathetic to his plight, I can't resist teasing him.

Today when I went into the living room at lunch time to wake him up for the day I pulled the blanket off of him and said... "Hey slug, time to get your butt up and get ready for work. And try not to leave a trail of slime when you do."

He didn't laugh.

I don't think he gets me.

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30 comments:

Jennine said...

Wow. You mean my kids aren't the only ones who sleep til noon? Only it sounds like yours has a job which is very unsluggish of him.

My 17 year old? Well...a job would interfere with fishing and sports so he's decided to hold out for a management position.

Talk about leaving a slimey trail.

Avitable said...

I hated getting those leg pains as a teen.

Drowsey Monkey said...

I often sleep till noon and I'm 5'3. Hmm...

Anyway, kids...they just don't get humour.

Student Teacher said...

Awww...it looks like he's already out grown the length of the couch.

Mylhibug said...

Now I wonder what my son's excuse is... oh yeah, he's just lazy. :)

Maureen said...

Holy crap; poor you and your kid... that's a lot of growing. Luckily, my daughter has finished her growth spurts. I think with girls they go through that faster and earlier.

Although she STILL sleeps till noon most days....

Kathy said...

I know your kids will probably use this against you, but I think they have to get up too early and be at school every day. Some mornings when I head to work early, I see kids at the bus stop around 7:15. I'm sorry, that's insane. They need more sleep for their growing bodies!

OK, you can delete this comment quick before your kids read it.

Alice said...

I actually appreciate this post. My son went through a brief spurt where he was eating TONS of food. It all made sense when none of his clothing would fit later on. I know what to look forward to in the teens now too.

Heather said...

My brother did not have his big growth spurt until after high school, which was unfortunate for him. I was at 5'8" (my adult height) by 8th grade which made me fairly beanpole-ish and extremely self-conscious. And I got lots of weather jokes...cuz, you know, it rhymes and that's sooooo funny.

I also slept til noon in the summers when I wasn't working. But that was because I stayed up until 2 or 3 a.m.

Bill said...

Lots of new clothes for a guy with a higher nose. How is that for prose?

Jeff said...

jennine - Smart kid of yours. He sounds like he'll do great in mgmt!

avitable - Yeah, those leg pains were a pain in the ass!

drowsey - Well, they might not get humour, but what about humor? Canadians... sheesh.

student teacher - Well I'm not buying a longer one just for him, that's for sure.

mylhibug - Hey, it's tough work being a teen. All that hangin out trying to figure out what to do next. It can wear a kid out.

maureen - Yeah, his sister who is 4 years younger than him is growing at about the same rate!

kathy - You're not alone in that thinking. But just because my kids stay up until 2 a.m. doesn't mean they should get to go to school at 10 a.m. They STILL need to learn to go to bed on time.

alice - Don't count on the amount of food getting any less though. It only gets worse every year.

heather - I got the weather jokes too. Amazing how hilarious kids can be huh?

dad - Hey wait a minute... that's actually kind of clever. Who wrote that for you?

Corrina said...

One of my friends is ridiculously tall (about 6' 8") and he told me about his experience with his growth spurt too... Quite painful for him. I remember him telling me about how bad his legs hurt all the time.

Hope your son doesn't get that part of it. Poor dude. You and your giraffe genes. lol

Lori said...

I'm thinking he gets you - he just chooses to ignore!!

Ed (zoesdad) said...

I'm still waiting for my growth spurt. Not sure what kept me asleep til noon during those formative years. Oh, wait--now I remember...

sinisterdan said...

When I was that age (back in the mid 1830s, I used to get the same pains in my legs (I'm now about 6'4"...)

This corresponds almost precisely with when I started drinking.

Bill said...

I get most of my sayings from above urinals and in band break rooms. The previous remark happens to be an original.

Jacki said...

So this is what my sister has to look forward to in 16 years? I better warn her now....

Jeff said...

corrina - Maybe his legs don't hurt because he skateboards 8 hours a day. I wasn't that ambitious when I was going through my growth spurt.

lori - He ignore me a lot. Can you imagine?

ed - If you remember it, then it can't be that.

sinisterdan - Thanks for stopping by. I spent a few minutes stumbling around your place and was quite amused. I'll be back.

bill - Did you pick up anything interesting from Larry Craig? Or at least curable?

jacki - Oh, this is the least of her problems.

L.A. Daddy said...

Oh, yeah, I remember those days. Started high school at 5'10" and graduated at 6'3". 145lbs to 225 lbs. I have no idea how my mom afforded the food we ate. No idea.

Memarie Lane said...

My brother went through the same thing, all the Blocker men are at least 6'6". And being skinny on top of that, high school was not easy for him. Funny thing is though, everything you described- the lethargy, the food, the leg cramps- point to pregnancy. Have you had him tested? ;)

The Hypocritical One said...

Those are some serious tan lines....hooah to mowing the lawn without a shirt.

Mom Thumb said...

I agree with Kathy that teens don't get enough sleep. I also think that part of it is because they go to bed too late. However, their brains are least likely to absorb information between the hours of 6 and 10 a.m. because that is when their bodies are most likely needing to be in deep sleep mode. Unfortunately, that is when they start school.

I have to stand on my toes to get dishes out of my cupboards. I don't understand tall.

mom said...

I want to know why he's sleeping on the couch?

Windyridge said...

So THAT explains it. MY teens eat like two adults and all the time. Honestly I think college will be cheaper than feeding these guys. And they love to stay up as late as possible and sleep till noon, but I've kinda put some limits on that. I recently read though that kids ONLY grow when they are asleep. So if you don't want 'em tall, wake them up!

Jennine said...

hey windyridge... but if you don't want them talkin' back or asking for money... I say let 'em sleep.

:)

I don't mind short, quiet kids.

Jeff said...

L.A. daddy - Paybacks my friend. You'll pay that all back yourself someday when your kids get there. Trust me.

memarie lane - You're right, Hoss WAS a big guy! And maybe you're not really pregnant, but are becoming a teenage boy instead. Have you been tested?

hypocritical one - Yes, he has his father's tan. And we're not even farmers!

mom thumb - Maybe they should host school from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. That's when my kids seem to be the most active anyway.

mom - We're renting his bedroom to some circus people while it's in town this week. Right now there's about 15 clowns sleeping in his bed.

windyridge - With 2 high school boys, we've literally had to double our recipes over the last few years just so everyone else gets enough to eat. It's crazy.

jennine - Too bad they don't sleep through dinner.

JD at I Do Things said...

Wow. I had no idea growth spurts could be so painful. It sounds like the transformation scene in American Werewolf from London.

Can I blame my increase in appetite on a growth spurt. You can have a growth spurt at 47 . . . can't you?

JD at I Do Things

Maureen said...

Yikes... hope things are okay down there; just watching the weather and the tornados this evening... and there is St. Cloud on the map. Looking at the photos, that is scary.... hope you and yours are unscathed. The clouds are not nice tonight...

K.C. said...

Just popping in from looking at storm clouds.. Weren't they awesome?

I have a 14 year old that woke up at 2 pm today... I remember those days and I am female... Trying to let him enjoy the summer for I know they won't last much longer...

Love the slime trial.. Kayce

Jeff said...

jd - I'm pretty sure you can have a growth spurt at any age. Of course you won't grow taller, but still.

maureen - The storm was pretty intense. The sirens went off and then we had to go in the basement, and then we lost power for the last 2 hours. I'm finally back online *whew* ! Now I can get back to the important things... like learning how to use my new keyboard and blogging!!! :b

kc - Hey, that's what summer vacation is SUPPOSED to be for!