Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Knock knock.... anybody here?

Creeeeeek... Hello? Hello? Anyone in here?

Yikes, this place is deserted - and falling apart! I see some fresh footprints in the dust though, they look like Teri's. Aww, isn't that sweet... she left me a nice note on the mirror. Thanks Teri, I miss you too!

Well, I probably should open the place back up for business. But after having done so much over this last week, I don't even know where to begin.

I suppose I could write about the things I learned while traveling 2400 miles in a car with 3 teenagers.

Or, I could write about how amazing Niagara Falls is.

Or, I could write about the Keystone Cops routines Kathy and I pulled off in our attempts to:
- communicate via text message so we could meet for dinner in Toronto (fail)
- ride the rail system (near fail) or
- find something other than pop to drink (near death by dehydration)

Or, I could write about Monika, the uber-nice but over-zealous Romanian security guard who tried to help my daughter find relief for an allergic rash at "The Ex" (Canadian National Exhibition).

Come here Roseanna and give Monika ze big hug

Or, I could write about nearly getting killed by a street car, seeing a model pose partially nude in the middle of a busy street, the crazy woman who squatted down and pooped on the sidewalk or the wide variety of hookers who were hanging around our hotel.

And most likely I will write about these things... just not today. I have a pile on my desk 10 feet tall, a million things to take care of at home and I'm tired as hell from driving for 13 hours yesterday.

Plus I have to get home and get all dolled up for a date with my lovely wife tonight. After a week alone with my kids I desperately need some "private" time with her - if you know what I mean (nudge nudge wink wink). Besides, isn't that what you do on your 19th wedding anniversary?


Happy Anniversary honey - I LOVE YOU!


* * * * *

The only thing I need after this trip is a heating pad for my butt and some clicky love at humor-blogs.com :-)

42 comments:

Anette said...

Welcome home! Enjoy your anniversary(wife), and give us the travel report later!

Avitable said...

Happy anniversary!

Babs (Beetle) said...

Happy anniversary! Glad you had a busy time, and collected material for your blog :O)

VE said...

Welcome back. I vote for the sidewalk pooping story...I don't think that craze has hit the big time yet...

damon said...

Welcome back and a happy anniversary!!!
The naked chick? -definitely worth a post.
The crap on the sidewalk? -some things should be cherished for prosperity in your own mind.

Jeff said...

anette - Will do!

avitable - Thanks!

babs - Oh, I got lots. More than I know what to do with.

ve - Why doesn't that surprise me?

damon - Thanks, but I've already flushed that image.

Kathy said...

Jeff -- We're home!! Our drive was not nearly as bad as yours. We did manage to get home on mostly highways this time, but it still took 8 hours. Butt cheeks in pain! I will never forget the most awesome time you showed us in Toronto. But that blister on my pinky toe is all your fault. I'll need a wheelchair next time, eh? Wow. What a time. I am so thankful that my sister drove us there to meet you and that I'll have some crazy and fun memories from that day.

p.s. We only got lost once on the way home, a mile from the hotel. Figures!

Kathy said...

Oh, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!

Jaffer said...

Oh where did the the 9 days go !
Too bad I missed you. By the time I arrived you were already on the road.

Happy Anniversary !

Phil said...

Happy Anniversary! We just had our 18th. Enjoy your night.

Heather said...

How nice that you combined a post that mentions naked women and people crapping on a sidewalk with anniversary wishes for your wife. That's romance.

unfinishedrambling said...

Glad to see you and The Fam returned safely, and that you're back here as well.

Happy anniversary to you and the missus.

Elizabeth said...

It sounds like you had an fun trip! Glad you all got back safe and sound.
Did your wife enjoy having the house all to herself?

Elizabeth said...

Ooops, I forgot to say Happy Anniversary to you and your wife!!

mmom said...

I am so glad you are home safe and sound!!! Every day I said a prayer for you and the kids, that you would be safe. Thank you, God!!! And--Happy Anniversary. Think of us when you have that drink we sent money for, when you go out for dinner!!! Love you--

rick said...

Welcome home. What did Brandon think of the school? I can't wait for pictures.

rick said...

Welcome home. What did Brandon think of the school? I can't wait for pictures.

rick said...

Welcome home. What did Brandon think of the school? I can't wait for pictures.

rick said...

oops.

cathouse teri said...

It's about damn time!

How darling! Your anniversary! Hope you have a great nudge-nudge-wink-wink time!

Glad you're back. See you when you recover. ;)

Chat Blanc said...

woot! happy anniversary! looking forward to reading the stories! you've got all the makings of a great book or movie--nudity, crazy people, near death encounters, hookers. . . wow!

regan said...

Yup, so much happened. Especially when EVERYTHING was in english, and EVERYONE spoke english, we had to ask about 5 people, and we still got lost.... and very tired and thristy. I felt very dead when I got back to me and my mom's hotel room.

It was fun meeting you and everyone else! Happy anniversary! =)

Jacki said...

Awww....you are such a sweet husband. :-) Happy Anniversary to the both of you!

And dude...there are times I can't go a whole day without some "private time" with Peter. But a whole week? I don't know if I could do it.

Jennine said...

Happy Anniversary, Jeff and Charli!

I can't wait to hear the details of your trip around the world.

I'm glad your back, Jeff.

carlae said...

Charli is in the drivers seat now...if you know what I mean, wink wink.
Glad you're all home safe.

Drowsey Monkey said...

Sounds like a usual week in Toronto ;)

But can't wait to hear about it from your perspective.

Roger said...

Welcome Back!!

Happy Anniversary!!

Now, tell us the good stuff... half naked models, and pooping prostitutes!!! WTH?!!?

Oh wait, that's right you were in Canada! Hope your butt heals. :)

Whit said...

Happy anniversary. Sounds like
a fun trip.

Rickey Henderson said...

Rickey welcomes you back good sir.

Maureen said...

Whoo Hoo! Welcome back, eh!

Hope you had a great time; can't wait to hear all the details... and what you don't want to type out here in public, I want to hear face-to-face on Sunday!

Happy Anniversary to you both!

Jeff said...

kathy - You and your sister and Regan are all awesome. And meeting all of you was a major bonus for all of us! Sorry to hear about your toe - but I claim no responsibility for your podiatric problems. ;-)

jaffer - You're right, that did go fast!

phil - Thanks! And congrats to you as well.

heather - That's why she loves me so.

unfinishedrambling - Thank you. Much appreciated.

elizabeth - Yes, I believe she did. And boy was it clean when we got here.

mom - Thanks... your prayers must work. I was 2 seconds from becoming streetcar roadkill but magically I'm still here.

rick - The school was awesome and Brandon would probably go there in a heartbeat if he could. Now it's up to him this year to get the grades to do it. I have a bazillion pics so come on down any time and I'll show them to you.

teri - We had a fabulous time on our anniversary (nudge-nudge-wink-wink). And thanks for checking in while I was gone.

chat blanc - Hmmm, a movie deal... I like it!

regan - It was a true pleasure to meet you too Regan. Roseanna was also happy to make a new friend. Thanks for coming along! :-)

jacki - Yeah, but it makes the reunion that much better!

jennine - Thanks. If we weren't so far behind I would have stopped for sure. But something told me you wouldn't want me knocking on your door at midnight. Oh, now I remember... Darren told me. ;-)

carlae - So that's what they call it. Kinky! Did you grow another letter?

drowsey - I think it would be more interesting to hear about it from my kids' perspective. Maybe I'll see if I can get one of them to write about it too.

roger - I'm pretty sure the pooper wasn't a hooker, although there are some pretty twisted people out there so you never know.

whit - It really was. Thanks!

rickey - And Jeff thanks Rickey for the welcome.

maureen - Yay! Looking forward to it!

April said...

Welcome home! And happy anniversary!

Mom Thumb said...

OMG, I'm so happy you're back. You probably have a few dozen stories to post from your trip. I already have three from a three day trip, and there are a couple more to come. Glad you all had a good time and got home safe. Enjoy your private time and Happy Anniversary!

shyloh said...

Happy Anniversary and welcome back.

Mrs. R said...

Welcome back and Happy Anniversary!

Jeff said...

april - Thanks. It's great to be home :-)

mom thumb - The hard part is going to be trying to parse these stories into entertaining reading. I may have to hire someone funny to do that.

shyloh - Thank you very much.

mrs. r - We had a very nice time last night thank you. :-b

Jinksy said...

Glad to hear you enjoyed your trip (at least i think it sounds like you did). T.O. can be an interesting place. Living an hour away from the big city, I could tell you a few things. But, I digress.

Oh, and happy anniversary.
Enjoy your time while you have it.

ann of the shampoo bag said...

I am still in aweof your marathon road trip. The only way that I would be able to go that distance is to be injected with something relaxing and then tossed into the trunk.

Really, meeting your family was so fun. Your kids are a delight. Interesting, polite, and funny. Hope to see you guys again!

Jeff said...

jinsky - Now that I've been there I'd like to hear your tales of Toronto! Have you written any in the past?

ann - I'm pretty sure riding in the trunk is illegal. Still, it's a good idea. I hope to see you again too sometime. Hey, all I need to do is convince Kathy to take another road trip and I get bonus friends too!

Michelle said...

Glad you made it home safely. And those definitely sound like some stories I can't wait to hear. Except maybe for the pooping in the street part. I htink you can skip that one ;)

JD at I Do Things said...

Happy Anniversary!

Love the picture of you and Kathy!

So . . . the Romanian woman wasn't afraid of catching the rash?

If you don't write about the woman pooing on the sidewalk, I will hunt you down.

JD at I Do Things

Jeff said...

michelle - No way dude. Some of my best stories involve poop. I ain't changing my formula for success now!

jd - I don't think the Romanian woman was afraid of anything... except not being able to find us a medic. She was really funny.