Monday, September 22, 2008

Just covering my butt

Last night Chelsea Handler was laughing about this new product by Garment Guard:


These are carbon inserts you stick inside your underwear which supposedly will eliminate fart odor. Hmm, I'd like to take that challenge.

And not only does Chelsea think it's funny, but Garment Guard themselves even poke fun at their product with this ad (although I'm not quite sure what that guy's reaction to that woman's thong is supposed to mean).


Of course this kind of product is right up my alley. So much so, in fact, that I actually "invented" a similar thing myself over a year ago.

Remember this popular post?

So I tell you what Mr. Garment Guard...

...you cut me a slice of your profits and I promise not to raise a stink over this.

25 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Is that a real product? If it is I think they should make them manditory at all Junior Highs.
Elizabeth

VE said...

Ha ha ha. It smells like a lawsuit to me! Does your product get rid of ass mist smell too? You know, that over sweaty butt smell commonly found among plumbers... Obviously you were ahead of your time! I hate when people steal my ideas that I'm too lazy to capitalize on...

Jaffer said...

Hallelujah Brother ! These should be distributed instead of pamphlets at religious gatherings.
How many times have you smelled but instead of feeling embarrassed, looked straight in the eye at the preacher ? ;)

Sornie said...

I just take the more direct approach and fill my undies full of those pine tree air fresheners.

Jeff said...

elizabeth - I sure think it's real. At least you can pay somebody for something.

ve - Uh... I really can't answer your question being as how I've never smelled a plumber's butt. But it sounds like you've had experience with that so maybe you can find out for me.

jaffer - Yes, those are the times when I concentrate on the preacher's message the most.

sornie - No wonder the women are always pining over you.

Mom Thumb said...

I wonder if they work on cats.

cathouse teri said...

You're crazy!

I am sure this can be traced back to Dr. Evil somewhere.

rick said...

Stricktly speaking from an engineering point of view, if this was to work, I think it would have to be plug shaped, and attached to a different area all together.

rick said...

P.S. I'm better at engineering than I am at spelling.

DFTF said...

ROFL! I invented something similar, and then I think SNL or MadTV or someone did a skit about it. Losers! Stole my idea. Anyway, I invented scented suppositories. You stick them in and then every fart is a breath of fresh air!

Jeff said...

mom thumb - Do your cats wear thongs?

teri - Yeah, crazy like a fox.

rick - They should so hire you to consult for them.

dftf - Have they no shame? Somebody needs to look out for us little people. Are there attorneys who cover other people's asses besides their own?

kc said...

This post was a gas. (sorry - couldn't...hold...it...in)

Whether it's you or them, I'd like to order 3 as a stocking stuffer for my mother-in-law.

Bill said...

Your blog reminds me of a true story told us Marines by a Navy prisoner in 1946. He said he met a guy in San Francisco that offered him a dollar for each time he could fart in his face. He quickly earned three dollars and while straining for the fourth, had a blowout. The unhappy receipant quickly yelled, "I AM NOT PAYING FOR THAT"!

Roger said...

Oh you SO have a case!! I wish I was a lawyer!!

I love the gas just blowing past her face like that. :)

Why did the last dude have to have such nasty farts though, I mean I think he had something dripping down his leg after that!

Michelle said...

Wow. All I have to say is wow. So wrong, so wrong. On so many levels.

But you do raise a good point. I ought to patent the idea I came up with on the plane last weekend. The woman next to me wrote it down, it was so good. *sigh*

Jeff said...

kc - Funny. I'll bet holidays are a real cut up at your place!

bill - A true story told to the Marines by a Navy prisoner huh? I'd like to see documentation please.

roger - That has to be one of the dumbest video I think I've ever seen. And I've seen some pretty dumb ones.

michelle - Well...? You can share it here. I won't tell.

Heather said...

I have my doubts that this would work for my family.

Corrina said...

Uh, wow. Let me know if these work because I know several people who's underpants I'm going to duct tape them too. LOL

How exactly do they stay IN ones underpants, anyway?

Meg said...

I really expected that Japanese dude to keep eating the hot dogs. Wasn't he the one who won that eating contest?

Or was that a Chinese dude?

Bill said...

I think I said enough because this is a family blog. All I can say is that we read the reports on all 22 prisoners awaiting bad conduct discharges, and you would not want to hear any more.

Jeff said...

heather - I'm with you. I mean about my family, not yours.

corrina - Didn't you watch the video? They come with adhesive sides and you can stick them right in. Just make sure you're freshly groomed in advance.

meg - Heh. Who decided that a chili dog was the best fuel anyway? I could easily list 5 things that are getter methane producers than that!

bill - We all thank you for your discretion.

JD at I Do Things said...

That was hilarious! What was up with the Thong Lady eating her hot dog sideways? And . . . so, I guess you can just stick it in your crack, too, apparently. Hmmm.

Well, you definitely deserve a share of the profits. And that ain't just hot air!

Pfffflllltttt!

JD at I Do Things

Jeff said...

jd - That whole video was just weird. Like I said, why was that old geezer so excited when the lady held up her thong? But yeah, just shove one up your butt and you should be good to go!

Anonymous said...

My husband would love that clip, but I'm not sending it to him. Why? Because I'll have to hear it over and over and over again. The man adores his fart joke videos.

Now, lest you think I don't love a good fart joke, I will tell you something that I won't talk about on my own blog for fear of dying of embarrassment. But I'll post it in your comments because ... well, because you'll let me.

I was emptying the dryer last night when my husband asked me if I wanted to help him wheel the garbage bins out to the curb. In response, I farted with some measure of effort. Trombone-style. He said "Was that a yes? I don't speak fart."

If you know who this is who left this comment, and accuse me of it on my blog or here, I'll deny it and won't be your friend anymore. Got it?

April said...

I'm so disturbed that not one but two people came up with this! I'd so prefer to think they stole it from you. Please, sue them so I can sleep at night.