Wednesday, November 26, 2008

10 Reasons You'll Wish You Were Me

I've stepped into an odd dilemma I wasn't prepared for...

The other day the HR director from my company sent me an email and told me I still have 15 unused vacation days left this year and I can only carry over 5 to 2009. Therefore, if I didn't use at least 10 between now and December 31st, I would start losing vacation days.

"WHACHUTALKINBOUTWILLIS!"

You see, this is the kind of thing that happens when you work for the same company for over 12 years. After 10 years I was given a 4th week of vacation, which I never got the hang of using up completely. Therefore, I started carrying over days into the next year. Now, after 2 years of carrying days over, I'm up to the equivalent of having 5 weeks of vacation! Add to this the fact that Charli is now working again so we have less time to "vacate," and I find myself on November 26th with 15 unused days to burn up.

Another problem I'm having is that this is one of those years where Christmas falls on a Thursday, so Friday is an automatic "holiday" at our company as well. Therefore, if a person was to take December 22-24 and 29-31 off, they would automatically get 16 days off in a row (including weekends) for the price of 6, which is exactly what most of my staff has decided to do.

If I was to follow their lead and take the same days off, our office would essentially be closed for the last 2 weeks of December, and that is not going to fly with corporate.

SO... in an effort to not contribute to the year-end vacation clumpage, I've decided instead to take all of next week off, plus every Monday until the end of the year (plus a few extra days sprinkled in here and there). And, because this Friday is also an automatic holiday at our company, I'm getting a bonus deal as well. Starting tomorrow morning, I will officially be off work for 12 days in a row - something I haven't been faced with for years. To make it even more complicated, nobody else in my household has any of the weekdays off during this time because they still have to go to work and school.

All that being said (which was waaay too much setup for this post for my money), I have decided to construct a list of...

10 possible things I could do with 12 days off in a row:

1. Strategically plan every day to maximize usage of available time to most effectively accomplish needed tasks such as Christmas shopping, tax preparation and home improvement. Either that or load up on Netflix and try to set a movie-watching marathon record. It's a close call.

2. Start taking meth, become addicted, seek treatment and quit. You know, just to see what all the fuss is about.

3. Tour Europe with nothing but a backpack.

4. Write a blog post.

5. Read a good book.

6. Ok, who am I kidding... read the first 5 chapters of a good book (any suggestions?)

7. Take a REEAAAALLLLYYYY long nap!

8. Don't actually stop working but just do it from home instead (sadly, this one may be less of a joke than it should be).

9. Engage myself in some HUGE project my wife has up her sleeve that I don't even know about yet that will miraculously take up the entire 12 days.

10. Nothing. Just sit around the house and do absolutely nothing.

Hahahahahah! I know. Got you on that last one didn't I! Hey, this is a humor blog. I can write satirical fiction as well as the next guy.

So anyway, there you have it... 10 things I could do with the next 12 days. But somehow I'm guessing this list isn't finished. Please, feel free...

... insert smart-assed suggestions now.

38 comments:

mom said...

Take up ice-fishing!!! Lotsa time, in case the fish are'nt biting!!

Roger said...

Same boat for us here... two months ago corporate decided that we would no longer be able to carry over any vacation. So now I had to coordinate over 2000 vacation hours in the remainder of the year. Top that off with the fact that I was not allowed to take anytime off during the month of October, and I get 25 days off, in a row. Of course, as I write this I am in the office, so... but I will be gone from today through the 17th of December. At least I have Disney World through most of it, so it shouldn't be too painful. :)

Mom has a great suggestion, which would then make your last post, uh, null and void I guess.

You could always rebuild a couple of rooms in your house, I hear that's a lot of fun.

Start running for senate; who needs Coleman or Franken?

Or you could help with the recount - yeah, that's the ticket.

There is always the blog, which is probably what I will be doing, to kill the time before we head south. I know, pathetic, right?

Have a great time off and a very Happy and filling Thanksgiving!!

Roger said...

Forgot a book suggestion... 1776 by David McCullough, or John Adams by the same author. Very good reads.

Any Clive Cussler book.

For fantasy, I like Terry Brooks.

The last lecture by Randy Pausch

Vonnegut will get you thinking about starting that meth habit.

So many more....

Phil said...

Come visit us in Idaho!

I guarantee that five days with us will feel like five weeks. Talk about a solid return in your investment!

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

Ever read Ender's Game? How about Odd Thomas?

cathouse teri said...

I would totally be going with #10.

April said...

I'd hate you if you didn't make me laugh so damn hard.
But there is something seriously wrong with you for not getting used to 4 weeks' vacation. I don't get that, I really don't.

Elizabeth said...

Hey, I just took ten days off work too! Of coarse I had knee surgery, but I got to lie on the couch, watch movies and take pain medication!
Oh, and for book ideas, I'm just finishing "sTori Telling" by Tori Spelling. It was pretty good. Hey, I said I was on medication!!

Elizabeth said...

Oh, and I agree with mom. You should totally take up ice fishing and then tell us all about it!
:P

Jeff said...

mom - How about I fill my bathtub with ice water. It'll produce the same results.

roger - Finally... please go and have fun at Disney. So we can stop hearing about it! ;b
(p.s. thanks for the comment and great book suggestions)

phil - Thanks for the invite Phil. You know that you've just invited my parents as well, right?

jen - No, and no. I don't get off my block much.

teri - Do you think it's actually possible?

april - I've rarely have the chance to use gobs of vacation days at one time, so once they get broken up into little piece, I seem to forget to use them.

elizabeth - Thanks. It's a toss up between that and Paris Hilton's new book.

VE said...

"WHACHUTALKINBOUTWILLIS!"

See...this is why you have my undenying friendship...I say that very thing all the time!!! Weird...

I like where you are going with the vacation thing. You are on the first step of a journey toward global holidays and a life of complete vacation! Outside the rich trust funders and homeless, few have completed this journey. I wish you luck in that pursuit.

As to what to do immediately, I suggest you first pre-write about 30 or so blog posts; then you can spend more time commenting on mine. Then, invent a new source of currency and start poliferating it among the population for goods and services...

Ed (zoesdad) said...

Dude--don't make plans. I'd be willing to bet Charli has at least 10 of your 12 days filled.

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

In that case, I recommend both.

Kathy said...

Go with #3. In fact, can you take Dave and me with you? We want to get back to Paris, and I want to meet Babs Beetle in person. So, shall we say we meet at Newark Airport Friday morning. Flights leave at 7AM. Can you make it?

Jeff said...

ve - I did have it on my list to write a blog post. Are you saying you can do more than one at a time?

ed - I'd be willing to bet you're right!

jen - Thanks. Can I rent them from Netflix?

kathy - You had me until Newark.

Mooselet said...

I vote number 10!!! Or read a book while doing nothing else - that's good. John Adams is an excellent read. Or come to Australia for that time. I'll be your tour guide, and it's nice and warm.

Mooselet said...

I should point out that you loose a day when you come here, but you get it back at the end.

Mom Thumb said...

I think you should use the time to acquire a taste for lutefisk. That would take at least 12 days.

Windyridge said...

Learn another instrument

Michelle said...

Book suggestion: Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

Somehow I think item 9 is the most likely. Scratch that, I'd lay money on #9 ;)

Enjoy your time off. I only have 10 days left to work this year, not that I calculated. I work 3 days a week and am off from the 19th on. Oh, and I'm carrying over 4.5 days. Oops.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Drowsey Monkey said...

omg - I miss the days when I had holidays. I work contract now and no time off with pay :( 12 days! I'm so jealous! Whatever you do you won't be at work so that's a total bonus!!!! Enjoy!

Heather said...

Twelve days off...

...

...

...

Oh. Sorry! I was just dreaming about what that would be like.

Honestly, it will pass too quickly and you'll wonder what you did. Just like all the other "vacations" that us grown ups take. (or don't take)

As far as books go, I liked Beneath a Marble Sky by John Shors (about the history and circumstances of the building of the Taj Mahal) and by John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany and I Know This Much is True.

Mom Thumb said...

A Prayer for Owen Meany is one of the best books ever written, and if you saw the movie, it doesn't even come close. You can read it while sampling lutefisk. Seriously, you ate that vegimite stuff.

Babs (Beetle) said...

**"WHACHUTALKINBOUTWILLIS!"**
I say this a lot (shows age) The problem is that nobody I know has any idea of where it came from, so I get blank confused looks.

What I would have given for four weeks holiday. Ten years in a company and I still only got two weeks! What would I do with it? Make the most of it ;O)

rick said...

I wanna come down and play. Gimme a call.

JD at I Do Things said...

Have you inadvertently started a new meme?

Anyway, I vote for the Netflix marathon. Lie on your couch watching movies, only getting up for bathroom visits. Which means you have to have a fully-stocked buffet within arm's reach. When your wife and kids come home, just turn up the volume.

JD at I Do Things

Maureen said...

Come up to Canada and put up my Christmas lights.

Pleeeeeze.

Hubby still hasn't gotten around to it.

Maureen said...

OH, yeah, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Elizabeth said...

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you and your family are having a great day with lots of turkey and pie!

Father Muskrat said...

Learn Spanish?

but Momma said...

I saw an ad for The Sopranos, thirty DVD box set. That might take a while.

Jeff said...

mooselet - I actually do want to read that John Adams book. I saw David McCullough on Jon Stewart the other night and it looks fascinating. Otherwise, coming to Australia sounds like a good idea too!

mom thumb - Sure, it takes 12 days to acquire a taste, but 12 weeks to recover!

windyridge - Funny you should mention that. I'm going to learn how to play the accordion and use it on our new CD for one song.

michelle - How irresponsible of you to carry over days. You need to learn to use those up! ;-)

drowsey - Yeah, but you get to be your own boss, so there's that.

heather and mom thumb - Sounds like A Prayer for Owen Meany comes highly recommended. We have a brand-spankin new high tech multi-gazillion dollar library here I haven't been to yet. I'll check it out this weekend!

babs - You Brits and your "holidays". Hasn't anyone told you yet?... personal time off is called vacation and holidays are called holidays. Sheesh. ;-)

rick - Fun! See you Tuesday!

jd - Or, I could plug in headphones so nobody would disturb me! You can steal this meme anytime you want.

maureen - Ha! I still haven't put my lights up yet. D'oh! Thanks a lot.

elizabeth - Thanks... and we did!

father muskrat - hmmm, mucho demasiado difĂ­cil

but momma - Not a bad idea. Can you believe I've never seen an episode? But then again we don't get HBO.

Chris C said...

-record a cover of every 80's power ballad. Not sure how you would do Close My Eyes Forever though unless you sang in a high-pitched voice for Lita Ford's part.

On a side note I have to listen to that song now...

Gette said...

Grab the band and set up the 12 day world tour.

Mrs. R said...

You could become the highest all time scorer on Guitar Hero or Rock Band...then you'll really have the respect of those 9th grade boys...

World Travelista said...

Cool blog!! Minnesotans rock... ;) I say, take the "12 days of Christmas" and... backpack around the world. ;)

I'm super-duper behind on Blogcatalog... but just saw your fun comment. Thx for the... fun post!!

Former MN-an & still current prius lover

Jacki said...

You can come down here and be our nanny so Peter and I can enjoy some of his vacation. :-)

He is in the same boat...only it is with sick leave. He rarely takes a sick day, because when he is sick he can work from home. So now he has a week of sick leave to use up between now and the end of the month or he loses it.

Count Sneaky said...

It is true that some people cannot handle leisure or puns without developing a rash. But, perhaps, you should spend a few days at the Summer Olympics Tryouts for the Submarine Races. Or, perhaps,
you could spend a few profitable hours reading "The Quotable Marcel Marceau."
or "Landfill Management for Dummies." Count Sneaky