Wednesday, November 12, 2008

regarding socks

Regarding socks? Are you kidding me? Oy, this poor guy really HAS run out of ideas!

I know! Somebody needs to get him a camera so he can at least generate stories around the goofy pictures he takes. That's a huge source of material for a blogger like him.


HEY YOU TWO... I CAN READ YOU!

And besides, I have plenty to say about socks. For example...

I absolutely hate it when I step in something wet and get a soggy sock. I immediately have to whip it off and toss it in the hamper and go get a fresh pair. It's very stressful to have wet socks you know.

And, what's up with those little ankle socks? They give me the heebie-geebies just thinking about wearing them. It makes me feel like I constantly want to pull them up, but of course I can't because they're too short.

In fact I'm getting claustrophobic as I write this. Bottom line is socks must be able to at least be above those big ankle bone knobby things.

Another thing that bugs me is the fact that I have at least 19 different varieties of common white crew socks, so when it comes time to match them up you need to be a CSI to figure it out. Some have a thick ribbing, others have thin. Some are pure white while others have a gray toe and yet others have a gray heel and toe. And finally, some have a knurled top rim while others have a plain rimless top.

What I'm most tempted to do is throw away all the socks in my drawer and go out and re-buy dozens of new ones all in the exact same style and brand. That way, I'll never have to match them up again and can simply just grab any 2 single socks and slide them on my feet. Can you imagine how liberating that would be?

I know... I sound like a nutjob, but don't laugh - socks can play a very important role in a person's well being. You can't tell me I'm the only one whose day gets completely thrown off by having your baby toe sticking out of a hole. It's a horrific torture! In fact, I'm pretty sure they use that tactic in prison camps to get people to talk.

So what about you... what are your sock issues? Or... what is your sock style of choice? There are more than you think: no-show, ankle, low-top, quarter, crew, over-the-calf and tube. Yikes!

Thank God I've at least settled on one single style.

I can't even imagine having to match up all of those as well!

44 comments:

cathouse teri said...

I'm with ya.
I'm going home to throw out all the boyfriend's socks and off to buy new ones that ALL match!

unfinishedrambler said...

I've always been partial to knee-highs myself as is in evidence in this golden oldie post...as for ideas, I wrote about Santana this morning. I can't think up much either. So I feel ya.

Babs (Beetle) said...

What I want to know is how do you keep those half socks from sliding down into your shoe? I can't think of anything more uncomfortable. Give me ankle socks every time!

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

You still can't find your camera?

:::shaking head:::

A wet sock is the worst! I've finally learned to put on shoes before I do dishes. I always end up with wet socks otherwise.

I love my ankle socks. The other ones make my legs itch.

Funkster said...

I did exactly what you described 5 years ago. I went to Target and bought 6 bags of white socks with the gold toe. That works out to 36 pair. I threw out all my other socks. Since then no more sorting, no more matching, no more orphans if one gets a hole. I just stack them in the drawer and pull out any 2 at random. I own only 2 pair of dress socks for weddings and funerals.

Anette said...

I'm with you with the wet socks!!
But when it comes to my preferation, I go for the Devil sock itself: the anckle sock, in terrycloth/cotton. Then I'm happy!

PG said...

the shorter the sock the better. pretty much the only time i will willingly wear a big old tube sock is when i have to put boots on. otherwise bring on the shorties!

Dan said...

I threw out all y socks a while ago and bought 20 pairs of identical socks.

Unfortunately those socks were disney princess socks. I am frequently mocked at work.

Impetua said...

I have a drawer just STUFFED full of socks, and the bottom line is this: I only wear them when I have to.

It's November, raining much of the time, with a crisp little breeze whistling through the holes in my mango-orange Crocs, and yet the socks remain in my dresser. Only if it's really pouring out or the temperature hits 45 am I even considering putting on the demon garments.

Oh, except at clinicals when I am forced to wear non-Croc shoes. I wear little shorty socks for that. White. Boooooo-ring.

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, my gosh. FINALLY a post about socks.

I, too, hate those "unfinished" socklets, as I call them. I feel naked in them. They're just not right. Babs is right: if they're not sliding into your shoe, they're thinking about sliding, so how can you have any peace of mind?

For working out, only plain, white ankle-length will do. For dressier occasions, my mom knits me socks! And they are beautiful!

JD at I Do Things

Sandy said...

I have no sock issues that I'm aware of, although I myself do favor the "anket" brands.

Speaking of sock length, you must have loved the 1970s (super high socks with the DUAL stripe at the top).

rick said...

I have a whole drawer of wool socks with worn out heels and toes just waiting for the day I learn to darn socks.

underthebigbluesky said...

oh yes, oh yes, nothing more frustrating than ruining a fresh pair of socks with a melted icecube, or mini household rain puddles.

my seven year old has the worst of sock phobias. we have gone through COUNTLESS pairs of socks until we found ones that fit ok and THOSE LINES don't bother her, unfortunately for her this winter they are ankle socks.

Unfortunately for me she also has the same underwear phobia.

Jeff said...

teri - Ooh... kinky!

unfinishedrambler - Uh oh... I may have to dig out a very similar old picture of me to challenge that one. Thanks a lot.

babs - I'm sorry, but your question confuses me. I'm not sure what sock you're referring to when you say "half" and "ankle". In my post the ankle socks are those shorties in the right picture. Are you saying those are the ones you like or don't like? Gah!

jen - No, my camera is nowheresville. And wet socks are evil.

funkster - I'm envious. I don't know that I would actually have the guts to throw away perfectly good albeit unmatched socks, so I will probably just dream about having a whole drawer full of matched socks but never actually get there. *sigh*

anette - So you sold your sole to the Devil eh? Heh.

pg - What about with sandals. Will you wear big old tube socks with them?

dan - People can be so insensitive.

impetua - I think that story is a Croc.

jd - I know... this story has been too long in coming. Pulitzer here I come! Oh, and your comment about "unfinished" socks confuses me as much as Babs'. Gah again!

sandy - Yes dear... I did have those super high socks with a dual stripe on the top. See my comment to unfinishedrambler above. I'll be embarrassing myself once again very soon.

rick - Well get crackin... the sock darning class isn't going to come to you.

underthebigbluesky - Our ice machine in our fridge is broken and doesn't know when to stop making cubes. Sometimes when you open our freezer 5 lbs of cubes will come tumbling out onto the floor. Before you can clean them all up you end up with... you guessed it - WET SOCKS!

Bill said...

I once got a box of sox from a mortician, but I gave them back because there were too many different sizes.

Gette said...

My ma and I are with you on the wet socks thing. The daughter of a friend will have a screaming hissy fit if she has a seam across her toes.
We try to have one kind of sock per family member, to make sorting easier. Luckily for us, everyone likes a different kind.
And you are so snickering at the fact that my word verification is "poott." Excuse me.

carlae said...

I have to buy my socks in the little boy department because my feet are so small.

My husband has a trick for getting dressed in the dark. Always pick out 3 socks, you will always end up with a pair, of something.

Heather said...

My sock issue is that my husband always tries to give me my kids' socks when he's putting the towels, socks and underwear away (that's his job). He can't remember that the socks with the green on the toe are K's, the socks with the purple toes and heels are M's and mine have pink on them. See? Not that hard.

I hate pairing up socks too.

Heather said...

My word verification for that last comment was "trants." Must be some new kind of rant.

bon bon said...

omg, were we separated at birth?! socks are a major pain in my, well, feet. i can't have a piece of dryer fluff inside my sock because i feel it, and the seam along the toe has to be positioned just so. if you were to meet me and and think i was pms-ing? chances are greater that my sock has a hole in it.

i won't tolerate a grain of sand in my shoe either. if i know my husband has a rock in his shoe, it bugs me. that's just how insane i am.

yellojkt said...

I liked the nothing post better.

I need to throw all my socks out and start fresh. Except for my bicycling socks. I like those.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

Just today, while trying to match socks, I had that very same thought. I'm going to toss the whole lot and start fresh! I feel your pain, man. Though I do prefer a higher version of the ankle sock you pictured. Crew socks never stay up--that makes me nuts.

Elizabeth said...

My husband was giving me a hard time because I just rearranged my sock draw. I have 4 categories:
1. fancy
2. workout
3. warm and fuzzy
4. everyday
Each type of sock has it's own place in the drawer. He thinks I have a problem, but I think I'm completely normal. Right?

Mooselet said...

I like the little socks, provided the elastic is intact so they don't slide down my feet. I don't like the feeling of my calf enclosed in sock - ick.

I also can't wear anyone else's socks, nor can a put socks back on my feet once I've taken them off. I have to put on a fresh pair. Weird.

Michelle said...

I HATE it when I have dress socks that don't stay up over my calves and just slide right on down to my ankles. Over and over again. I've decided I must have a very long calf. Otherwise?...

Oh, and it's possible (just possible) that I've written numbers on my husband's socks for just the issue you described. 1 goes with 1, 2 with 2 and so forth. And I make him sort them ;) I go with the socks that are all the same! :)

Sarah said...

Oh my shoes leek so i totally know what you mean with the wet sock thing. I wear pair A in the morning with my tennis shoes, then after morning classes i change into pair b and wear a different pair of shoes that have a bit of a heel. I could just wear pair B all day but the heel hurts my foot if i wear it all day. Oh by the way, i like the short socks. yours are VERY old school. definately don't ask your ninth graders about socks cause they'll laugh at you!

Kathy said...

So I guess you really hate seeing those anklet socks with the fuzz ball thing on the end, so that they don't slip down into the shoe. Listen, if the socks need a holder-upper thing, they're too short to begin with! ARGGGH! All this sock talk is making me crazy! I'm joining the "buy all the same kind of sock club" PRONTO!

Anonymous said...

You can do it! Go buy the ones you want, then go home and put all of the others in a bag. Take the bag to the Goodwill or Salvation Army. People use mismatched socks for all kinds of reasons. Art projects, (make puppets out of them!) cleaning cloths, Maybe one of them matches up with one of yours--the possibilities are endless! OR just go for it and throw them away!
I recently got a new dresser, and it forced me to do a "Funskter"! Boy, did I feel great! No more guilt, and it's so nice and orderly! I totally recommend it!
See ya! sis

Charli said...

I can't believe not one of you Lees bothered to mention that he got a brand new shiny bag of sock EVERY Christmas from his mommy UNTIL he complained that moms should not buy their grown sons socks and underwear. He got FREE socks and underwear every year until he opened his big mouth, wifey here has no sympathy. The funny part is he loved the kind she bought he would buy exactly what she bought UGH MEN....

Mom Thumb said...

DUDE! You don't throw wet socks in the hamper.

I try to wear socks or shoes as little as possible. Which is why the people who do my pedicures hate me.

Jeff said...

That's morbidly funny.

gette - Did you just "poot" in my comments? And I thought all the feet comments were causing a stink!

carlae - Yeah but what if you have 19 different styles of socks like I do? Then you'd need to select out (eT x2+{1}\{T}xy+\sin(T)z -2 = 2) number of socks.

heather - Craig is forgetful like a fox. Like a socks fox that is.

bon bon - You're right, we are equally neurotic. Seems I too need a straight seam, and forget about anything being in my shoe. I won't walk 2 feet with my 2 feet if there is.

yellojkt - Sometimes nothing is more. Seinfeld made a career out of it.

ed - The odd thing is, I'll wear crew socks with shorts, and then scrunch them down so they're low on my shoe like ankle socks. Go figure.

elizabeth - Normal is relative. For example, *I* think I'm normal, but nobody else seems to think so.

mooselet - I know what you mean about putting "used" socks back on. Once they come off, they stay off! Sometimes when it's really cold in my bedroom (we don't have a heat duct in there), I'll wear clean socks to bed, but then put new clean ones on in the morning after my shower.

michelle - For your dress socks, maybe you should wear a garter. You could bring it back in style!

sarah - My son just told me I was "old school" the other day about something too and you're about 3 years older than he is. Just wait... in a few years my kind of socks will turn from "old school" to "retro" and then all you "new schoolers" will be wearing them.

kathy - Is that what that little ball is for? I always just thought they were pom-poms for your feet.

sis - Woo-hoo! Such sock enthusiasm! How about I give you all my old socks this weekend and you can make puppets out of them.

charli - Yeah but... mom just happened to get the right kinds of socks all those years. And the only reason I asked her to stop buying my socks and underwear is because you made fun of me. UGH WIVES...

mom thumb - Uh, what are hampers for then? What, you have a special "wet sock" bin? ;-)

Heather said...

I gave you something to blog about: http://www.coolzebras.com/2008/11/by-sixes.html

Jacki said...

Peter is the same way. He wants all of his socks to be the same design so he doesn't have to spend a long time looking for a matching pair. I like to have different designs and colors.

Bee Repartee said...

I'm with you on wet, soggy socks.

I have to wear different socks with different shoes. You can't have enough socks though.

It also drives me nuts when I see socks with thongs. Just say NO.

Bill said...

Sock control is easy if you have a Lois. She puts my blue ones in the back on the right. Brown go in the back on the left. The white and gray split the front. I only have to open the drawer.

Windyridge said...

Well Jeff, you should know, teens only wear the ankle things...even in the dead of winter. The boys made so much fun of my husband in his normal socks that he went and bought a bag of ankle socks! Personally I've been wearing them since before they were cool, to play tennis. Does that make me a super cool mom?
Remembering whose socks were whose on laundry day, has been the bane of my existence.

VE said...

Congratulations in becomming the newest member of 'those who have posted humor about socks' club (yeah, I'm a member too...)

PS – You better not miss my post for Fri 11/14 because you will be tagged and I’m one post shy of 600 and out of those there are only 3 current pictures of VE and NONE of him when he was younger. Ever wonder what teen VE looked like? Here’s your opportunity to find out along with a mega embarrassing meme as well. It’s not pretty.

but Momma said...

Jeff..DO IT...DO IT...START OVER! I've done it with the kids, they each have there own brand, and it was a stress reliever! And though I don't know gette, I have a daughter who has a cow when the seam doesn't fall just so across her toes. She had a teacher who said it was a sign of a gifted child.
I choose to believe gifted over bratty. Rose colored glasses and all.

April said...

Jeff, you always make me smile!
You owe it to yourself to always have matching socks. Go for it.

Mrs. R said...

I actually really like socks...it's so much fun to get them in cute designs...

PG said...

laughing at your @ to me! NO!
I don't really do sandals at all anyway.

Anndi said...

The part that sucks about putting a wet sock in the hamper is when you grab a pile of clothes out of the hamper and your hand lands on a wet sock... *shudder*

Maureen said...

Best part of Christmas morning?

Sliding into brand spankin' new socks.

Mmmmmmmm. Toasty.

Lidian said...

Have you ever seen the Blackadder (Series 3) where the Prince Regent (Hugh Laurie)is buying millions of pairs of socks but never seems to have any? Humor we can all relate to!