Saturday, December 06, 2008

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care... in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would have air

Here's my question...

Who decided it would be a good idea to make Christmas lawn decorations that would only display if you turned on a fan to inflate them?

I suppose the theory is valid. You can have a large, puffy, colorful, 3D illuminated Santa bobbing and weaving in your front yard throughout the entire Christmas season and be the jolliest house on the block.

And for the 5 hours every night that you power them up, they look like this.


The problem is... you have to keep the fan ON!

Why? Because otherwise all your poor Santas, snowmen and penguins will collapse from lack of oxygen, and all day long they will look like this:







These are just a few of the yards you'll see along the route between my house and Roseanna's karate studio.

The funny thing is, I had this idea all queued up to do the other day before Doozie left this comment on my post yesterday.

... and I despise those blow up lawn deco's. I think this year I will take my shovel around and bash those things.
Hmm, I thought I saw her lurking around here last night.

36 comments:

Jacki said...

Emma was just asking us this morning why our penguin fell down over night.

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

heh heh. I have to say, I'm with Doozie on the lawn ornaments.

Jeff said...

jacki - Well there you go... just let her read this. ;b

jen - Just be careful about hanging around with Doozie. She'll get you in trouble every time.

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

Don't I know it! Doozie and I have hung out together. ;-)

Sandy said...

I can't stand those either...it's so morbid to see Santa look like he was run over by a snow plow during the daylight hours.

Kathy said...

It looks like someone went on a shooting spree. God, what's the body count? Hilarious and Stumbled!

Gette said...

My brother only recently got a place with a lawn, but cannot control his urge to buy decorations, hence my custody of two inflatables. He finally took most of them to his yard, but I still have a santa and a penguin that collect dust if I don't use them. I also have a husband who's particularly squeaky about the electric bill lately; ergo: two flat blobs in the yard 18 hours of the day.

Jeff said...

jen - That sounds like fun actually. She's one wild and crazy gal.

sandy - And you thought Grandma got run over by a reindeer!

kathy - Investigators are still trying to tally the total. It ain't pretty though.

gette - I'm still waiting for someone to sell a box that looks like a Christmas package that stores your deflated Santa during daylight hours. Then you just slip the top off and blow it up! I know... genius.

Michelle said...

Considering that I'm the ANTI Griswald, ummm I so don't get them -- fans on or not. I have a wreath. And only because my husband couldn't say no to the Boy Scouts who came to the door. The tree will come, and I'll do some indoor decorating, but the rest? I think there's something wrong with my Christmas gene! :)

I will say that I'm PRETTY sure whoever invented them works at the power company though....

Elizabeth said...

They scare my poor dog to death! We can't walk down certain streets because of the terrifying blow-up lawn ornaments!

Memarie Lane said...

Here in the ghetto the only decor you might see is an empty egg nog carton in the gutter.

Babs (Beetle) said...

I wouldn't take a shovel to them. I'd take a giant pin! Someone with a sick sense of humour came up with this, I'm sure.

I doubt you could have much in the way of outside decorations here, without them getting stolen, or giant pins stuck in them :O)

VE said...

I was going to say something snarky here but Doozie knocked the wind out of me...

The Doozie said...

VE, with my shovel no doubt?


I'm glad you got a good post out of the comment, love the "keeping down with the jones" comment

Lidian said...

That is quite a festive sight.

There is a store near us where they have a huge inflatable Santa on the roof. Trouble is, he has never been cleaned and thus is very grimy. He is quite menacing looking, unwashed and bobbling up on that roof...

but Momma said...

I'm trying to decide if I'm gonna put out lights and turn down the heat? Or am I gonna keep the heat up so I don't have to resort to wearing three pairs of socks and three shirts?

I like the yard ornaments, just too broke to participate!

Chris C said...

The evil side of me wants to go around and take out all the blowup yard deco with a BB gun.

Of course then CSI would get involved and I'd be indicted for some kind of religious hate crime simply because I shot a BB gun at balloons for the sheer hell of it.

kc said...

What is up with that one that looks like an elf hung himself? What is that even supposed to be (besides traumatic)?

I can deal with ONE per yard; I even kind of like the snow globe ones - it's the only way we get to see snow, usually. But more than that and I want to knife them. I guess I'm not the only one; that's on the news a lot.

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

A few years ago, some neighbors had a couple of inflatable pumpkins in the yard for Halloween.

On on particularly windy day, the two large udulating pumpkins were blown together.

Thereafter my entire family referred to them as "The Humpin' Pumpkins".

shyloh said...

That is way too funny. I will pass this year. Baaaa humbug!!!

Mom Thumb said...

Several yards in our neighborhood look like they were host to drunken Santa/snowman/penguin parties. Someone took our neighbor's reindeer (the one whose head is down) and put it backwards on the one whose head is up. Not very nice, but kinda funny.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

Try explaining why Santa is not really dead and lying in your neighbors yard to a 2 year old. That's fun.

April said...

Well, at least you deflate yours. The amount of power people waste this time of year...

Heather said...

Those things do look pretty sad all deflated.

Drowsey Monkey said...

lmao...omg...

I have tears in my eyes...seriously, LOL!

This is so true - it's the new tragedy of yard decorations.

LOL!!

Chubbs said...

Call the cops -- there's been a homicide! Santa Claus down. I repeat, Santa Claus down!

Gette said...

You should be using all these days off to pitch and market that box thing.

Jeff said...

michelle - I'm pretty sure the power company invented Christmas!

elizabeth - I know how he feels. Some people's yards scare me too.

memarie - How festive!

babs - How sad is that? Where do you live... Grinchville!

ve - Ya gotta watch out for her. Especially her left hook.

doozie - Ya thanks. I take my inspirations where I can get them.

lidian - No... he's realistic. You'd be grimy too if you were climbing in and out of chimneys all night long! ;b

but momma - Hang in there. In a few years they'll have LED lights that are brighter and consume next to nothing in energy. Then EVERYONE will be able to decorate!

chris c - Is shooting Santa really a religious hate crime? Now, if you were shooting at an inflatable Jesus, then maybe.

kc - I thought that suicidal elf was funny too. He's really just supposed to riding a carousel... because who doesn't have a carousel in their front yard?

doug - Yeah, but those pumpkins didn't get very far because Jack-o had a hollow weinie. Ba-dum!

shyloh - So I can expect Inflate-a-Christmas from you next year then?

mom thumb - Maybe I should drive around and throw empty booze bottles in all these people's yards. Now that would be funny.

ed - Just think of the money you could save though by telling your kids that Christmas has been canceled because Santa is dead.

april - Are you saying people in Los Angeles don't deflate their Santas?

heather - Check it out in your town too. You'll see deflated blobs on every street. Very odd.

drowsey - Yes, I think the lawn ornament of the fat lady bending over has finally met its match.

chubbs - Funny. I could see someone running one of these pics and hosting a caption contest.

gette - Too late... vacation's over!

Bill said...

I wonder about the empty booze bottles Mom Thumb wrote about?

cathouse teri said...

Keeping down with the Jones's! I love it! :)

I do virtually NO decorating. Our house is the only dark house on the street. But some of the other houses make up for it.

Mom Thumb said...

Hey, I didn't say anything about booze bottles, but I like the idea of throwing them into the yards of deflated Santas.

Bill said...

Sorry Linda, Jeff has the empty booze bottle idea. I did not think anyone in Oklahoma would throw away an empty booze bottle.

Maureen said...

Ugh... I think those are THE tackiest decors ever. One house near ours overdoes it for four months in a row. For Halloween the put out about ten of those garish things in September. Then as soon as Halloween is over, they replace them with another 10 Christmas ones. Ridiculous....

annof thejunkdrawerblogfamily said...

Around the corner from my house sits a blowup of Snoopy atop a motorcycle. Nothing says Merry Christmas than a cartoon beagle riding a motor vehicle. It hurts my eyes. Can't wait til this trend passes.

Roger said...

Not a fan of the "blowups" for that reason, they look really dumb just lying there all deflated and depressed.

injaynesworld said...

Oh my God, it's a massacre! Looks like Pepper Spray cop has struck again.