I honor of our nation's big day on Tuesday, I thought I'd channel an old friend of mine from the late 70s and find out what she had to say about this historic event.
My friends, I'm proud to have a celebrity guest join me today. Here with an editorial comment is Miss Emily Litella.
What's all this talk about an eggnogural celebration?I'm sorry folks. I'm afraid Miss Litella may have misunderstood. After receiving her submission for this post, I sent her a note that explained it is an Inaugural celebration, not eggnogural. She replied with just two words:
First of all, eggnog is gross. It tastes like sweetened snot and makes me want to puke. I hardly think a cup of warm phlegm is worth all the fuss of throwing a huge party over.
Secondly, why screw up all that good rum and brandy by adding eggs and milk to it? If you really want something to party over, how about gathering a couple million people to share some Alabama Slammers! Nothing gets a party going like Sloe Gin and Southern Comfort!
Finally, isn't all this a little late? The only time people even hear about eggnog is during the Christmas season. This is like when people send out their Christmas letters in January and then call them "year end" or "new years" letters instead. If you're gonna celebrate eggnog it should be in December!* * * * * * * * * * *