Saturday, September 12, 2009

Allow me to paint you a sandwich

I've been wondering lately why I didn't get that job I interviewed for, and why I'm not getting any new interviews either - even though I've applied at well over a dozen places. Today I think I found out why.

I finally used a service that CareerBuilder.com offers where you submit your resume and it spits out a list of recommended jobs based on your experience and skills. Here's the list I received.

Thank you CareerBuilder for keeping me honest. Here I thought after 18 years of computer programming and IT project management experience, I should be looking along the same lines - but apparently you have other ideas in mind for me.

General contractor? - yeah, right
Accountant? - I hate math
Sears Automotive? - no... Mr. Goodwrench I am not
Phlebotomist? - oh, good idea - you really nailed it there

Ok, I'll grant you a little "thinking outside the box" room on those, but come on, unless Radio Shack or Subway are paying $30/hr these days I think you may want to recalibrate your job suggestion algorithm.

On the other hand, after 18 years of working in a sterile and somewhat stressful IT environment, maybe "Sandwich Artist" doesn't sound so bad after all.

I don't know... maybe CareerBuilder knows more than I'm giving it credit for.

17 comments:

Janna said...

You could be the world's first blogger-rockstar-phlebotomist-whitewater rafter!

That's got to be worth something.

JD at I Do Things said...

I just took this quiz and found out that I could be a coroner, an aircraft structure assembler, or a broadcast news analyst, among other things. I was disappointed not to get "Sandwich Artist," even with a background in Food Preparation.

Jeff said...

janna - I know! It seems obvious, doesn't it?

jd - Well then, clearly you do not possess the artistic aptitude required to create sandwich artistry. I hear there are special performing arts schools in NYC you can attend though if you're interested.

Jen said...

Funny about all I am qualified for is sandwich artist but they keep sending me jobs for senior surgeons and ceos.

unfinishedrambler said...

You mean they don't pay $30 an hour at Subway!?! Darn it. So much for that resume I put in there last week? You just ruined all my hopes and dreams.

Jeff said...

jen - Maybe I should work for CareerBuilder. It sounds like they could use a good programmer.

unfinishedrambler - Well, there's always embezzlement. You could probably work the till for at least a few weeks before you got caught. Just an idea.

Drowsey Monkey said...

Go with the sandwich artist. And wear the pink glasses.

Heather said...

Just so you don't draw blood while you're making a sandwich.

PatKG said...

You sis and I make pretty good money being phlebotomists. But, you will notice neither of us work in a hospital or clinic setting... I would stay away from Stearns Bank. Seriously.

carlae said...

Maybe they shoud be called CareerREbuilders?

Michelle said...

Interesting. I'm almost afraid to see what I'd show up as. I'm just disappointed it went so specific with Sears Automotive. I wonder if they have paid sponsors and are trying to steer people to those jobs and careers. Hmmm, I think I have a new business idea!

Jacki said...

Hahaha...several of my programming and IT friends have been getting emails asking them if they would like to apply for positions as childcare assistants. I never get anything that interesting...I just get emails from headhunters asking if I want to relocate to Tennessee or California for 6-month contracts.

Jen said...

Just found your blog via tangential leaps of the internet. I am close by, Wayzata, in fact. Great post. Sandwich artist is such a lovely way to put it. Good luck on the continuing job front.

Jeff said...

drowsey monkey - Yes! I could be a celebrity sandwich artist. Kind of like the Naked Cowboy only with plastic gloves.

heather - Ahh... I had that one coming after all the stupid puns I leave on your blog.

PatKG - Noted. Hey... I've been your customer and you're really good at it. It only took you 5 tries to find a vein in my arm. I heard it takes my sis an average of 10 so you're obviously better than she is.

KIDDING!!!

carlae - I would call them whatever they want if they could rebuild my career.

michelle - Hey, if you start a new business let me know. Just saying.

jacki - As long as the 6 months are in the winter, I might be interested. Forward those to me please.

jen - Thanks for stopping by, however it is you found me. Tangential leaps right? Wasn't Scott Bakula in that?

Muskrat said...

I'm afraid to take a quiz like that, because if it said I "should" be a drag queen--which is what I WANT to do--them I'm likely to make a rash decision that will not please the rest of my family too much.

Roger said...

I think that you SHOULD apply to work at CareerBuilder, no doubt. I had a really hard time trying to put together the connection with all of those jobs, and determined that it must be your name: Jeff. :)

Weird, and so glad I still have a job. I can only imagine what mine would suggest.

Ed said...

It would seem that you have a pretty good chance in the health care industry. Start sending those resumes!