Sunday, December 06, 2009

Missing Pine Found in St. Cloud

ST CLOUD - A Timber Alert issued on Saturday for a missing white pine was canceled Sunday morning when a dismembered evergreen was found in the grass alongside Hwy 10.





Authorities have identified the mutilated pinaceae as one White Pine, the same tree named in the alert. Owners of the tree are grieving the loss and have stated, "We feel such sorrow for the tree we grew to love. We just wanted to give it a home for Christmas."

However, when the owners visited the farm where the tree was purchased to ask if one had been turned in, management immediately accepted responsibility for violating their policy of always tying down trees in open utility trailers, and promptly gave the grieving family a substitute tree as an apology.

The missing tree was later discovered on the way home by the shocked and saddened family.

23 comments:

rick said...

Someone should erect a cross as a reminder for others to always, "Buckle Up!"

Dan said...

That was nice of them to give you a new tree though.

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

Oh, look at how sad it looks! Sorry I laughed. It really is sad. Yeah, sad.

Awesome you got a new tree. That's the Christmas spirit for ya. You're my new Charlie Brown.

jerrychicken said...

Poor dead tree, it had such high hopes for this christmas too, its been growing for five years for this and now look at it, dead in a field.

Imagine its disappointment

Jeff said...

rick - Good idea. That does sound better than "Strap it Down!"

dan - Well, having a tantrum on the ground like a 3 year old might have had something to do with it. But yeah, it was still nice.

kathy - Hey, that's a nice compliment. He eventually DID save the Christmas pageant and everybody DID love him in the end. Suddenly I feel like dancing with a beagle.

jerrychicken - Yes, this was way worse than being dead in my tree stand.

Heather said...

Someone should write a song about this. It would be the new "Christmas Shoes."

Idaho Dad said...

Now that is what I call a dead tree. Or maybe it's just pining for the fjords.

Mom Thumb said...

This sounds more like a Halloween story than a Christmas story. I'm glad you got another tree, I'd hate to see you trying to piece that back together with baling wire and C-clamps.

Jacki said...

HAHAHA...oh my God this is the funniest Christmas tree story I have ever heard!!

Jeff said...

heather - Uh... there's an "old" Christmas Shoes? I'd better listen to that one first.

idaho dad - Ba-dum! I love a good needle-less pun.

mom thumb - I thought I saw Freddie Kruger lurking around in the woods! I don't think even Charlie Brown could have saved that tree.

jacki - Thank you! I enjoy a good Christmas mishap as much as anybody.

Anonymous said...

ah yes, the workings of the brillant mind..always thinking, but not always thinking! sis

Elizabeth said...

Glad you figured out what happened or else this could have become a Cold Case!

Ed said...

You didn't just leave the poor thing there to rot by the side of the road? Tell my you brought it home and threw some lights on it. A ball. Something!

Michelle said...

You just left that poor defenseless, injured tree laying there? You didn't even put it out of its misery with a wood chipper?

But hey -- at least you have a tree. I haven't even thought about getting one yet. And that means my Christmas cards will once again become New Years cards. Oops.

Jeff said...

sis - Wait, is this a compliment or...? I'm not quite brilliant enough to figure it out.

elizabeth - Good one. I had some leads but I ditched them because they ended up dead.

ed and michelle - You two make leaving a defenseless, mutilated abandoned tree left to die in a ditch sound like a bad thing. Where's your Christmas cheer?

carlae said...

Did you have a decent burial? Perhaps a creamation or maybe some nice compost for the upcoming spring. Did you even pick up your litter and bring it home?

Jocelyn said...

I'm thinkin' the family should have picked up the remnants there and redefined the "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree."

VE said...

Ha! Too funny. I once put my tree up on the roof just to take it to be recycled after Christmas. When I got there it wasn't on the roof...I tried to retrace my steps but never found it. I guess it found its own destiny...

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

Your tree? Oh I'm so sorry. I shall mourn your loss. Today I am doning black for you. Donning? Wait. How is that spelled?

Hey, I'm wearing black, OK?!

Maureen said...

Holy crap, what is WITH you Minnesota drivers???? Last year we were dodging rocks being thrown from an open flatbed in front of us near St. Cloud, now TREES are flying down the highway!

Note to self: never drive behind Jeff.

Janna said...

Oh, drat.
All this time I've been hoping it was abducted by aliens.

Hey... maybe it WAS, and they just happened to return it by dumping it at the side of the road after they learned it couldn't be probed!

Lousy aliens.

Jeff said...

carlae - Uh, yeah sure. We had a beautiful ceremony where everyone pined their loss and boughed their heads.

jocelyn - Sorry Jocelyn, even ol' Chuck himself wouldn't have been able to save this one.

ve - Hey, that's how I get rid of all my leaves every fall. Just fill up my trailer, hit the highway and "poof"... they're gone!

lisa - Aren't you supposed to be donning your gay apparel this time of year?

maureen - Don't forget, you already have driven behind me. Of course I was on my motorcycle so there was very little danger of anything being thrown at your car from that. Unless I fell off of course.

janna - No, that wouldn't make any sense at all. Everybody knows Aliens don't celebrate Christmas. Duh.

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, that poor little tree!

This heart-warming tale makes me feel a little less crabby about putting up our stupid tree this afternoon.