Comments on View from the Cloud: Central Minnesota Crime Logs - September 09

A caller reported a strange vehicle with out of co...

2009-09-24T07:33:38.935-05:00

A caller reported a strange vehicle with out of country plates parked at the local Starbucks. All of a sudden a motorcycle pulled up and then two people hugged and talked; one very tall and the other very short.

Obviously there was some kind of drug deal going down.

The police were called.

(Okay, next time we are meeting on the highway).

The poor woman is a leftover hippie tree-hugger ta...

2009-09-18T21:53:02.095-05:00

The poor woman is a leftover hippie tree-hugger taking things a bit far. That pole was her best friend only a few years ago. The LSD in her system was dormant for years but then a phrase on the Jay Leno show triggered it to become active again.

My favorite one is the guy who needs to keep his b...

2009-09-18T19:49:32.932-05:00

My favorite one is the guy who needs to keep his balls tucked away where they belong.

I'm amazed at how many people call 911 for completely paranoid reasons, yet they ignore real crimes like somebody stealing stuff from somebody's boat in the driveway.

We live in a messed up world.

theresa b - Good one. I suppose someone could make...

2009-09-18T18:09:06.707-05:00

theresa b - Good one. I suppose someone could make a funny about Woody Harrelson too... but then again no one would probably believe that a woman was gaga over him.

mom thumb - See? That's why the guy was so upset. That was REALLY good beer!

gette - Maybe you should go out cruising for telephone poles later tonight. Apparently it's more fun than you'd think.

I got nothing. Friday burnout. Lots fun here, th...

2009-09-18T11:47:26.067-05:00

I got nothing. Friday burnout. Lots fun here, though...

After blood and DNA testing, it was determined tha...

2009-09-18T09:59:50.312-05:00

After blood and DNA testing, it was determined that, earlier, she had stolen $15 worth of beer from a garage in Zimmerman.

The woman was released after she explained that sh...

2009-09-18T09:22:53.538-05:00

The woman was released after she explained that she had mistaken the pole for Keanu Reeves. "When I thought about, it seemed plausible, what with his height and wooden acting," the arresting officer wrote in his report.

doozie - I would have loved to hear you at your jo...

2009-09-18T08:34:20.368-05:00

doozie - I would have loved to hear you at your job as a 911 dispatcher. I bet you had a really sore tongue from biting it all the time.

michelle - No, that's a good one. The only reason I mentioned it is because I instantly came up with 3 perverted responses to that... and figured if *I* (you know, the morally sensitive guy I am) could come up with something dirty, it would be super easy to land in the gutter for other people. ;-)

heather - Yes, one is upright, strong and stands tall... the other comes from a country in Europe. Is that what you meant?

jd - I know, isn't she awesome? I totally want to know who she is so I can interview her, but I doubt the newspaper would release that information to me. In fact, I doubt the newspaper would do ANYTHING for me the way I pick on them here.

I wanna join that tough girl's posse and go ar...

2009-09-18T07:37:39.534-05:00

I wanna join that tough girl's posse and go around punching people in the face for mistreating animals. I think I'll start up my own branch here.

it really is sad when people can't tell the di...

2009-09-18T00:16:21.475-05:00

it really is sad when people can't tell the difference between poles and Poles.

Fortunately, she was able to be provided Plan B in...

2009-09-17T22:20:29.207-05:00

Fortunately, she was able to be provided Plan B in time, and no pregnancy resulted. Or is that one over the line? I can't decide, but I'm too tired right now :)

I'll work on that. I'm still trying to ge...

2009-09-17T21:48:53.877-05:00

I'll work on that. I'm still trying to get over the trauma of being in that place.....

doozie - Good one! And regarding your 911 calls......

2009-09-17T20:25:58.618-05:00

doozie - Good one! And regarding your 911 calls... I declare that YOU should be writing a similar post. I'll be watching for that!

absepa - Love it! :-)

ed - I hope they sent somebody out right away... you know, before the evidence went up in smoke.

No punch line from me. Just commiseration---with ...

2009-09-17T19:09:15.105-05:00

No punch line from me. Just commiseration---with the idiots that call.

I called 911 just this week over a pot of boiling water.

The woman was arrested after she left the hospital...

2009-09-17T18:28:16.369-05:00

The woman was arrested after she left the hospital, and booked on one count of public intoxication. The telephone pole is currently undergoing counseling.

ps, if you want some good calls let me know. I sp...

2009-09-17T17:28:00.341-05:00

ps, if you want some good calls let me know. I spent 11 months working at 911 and I have some "doozies" if you will

The woman was later discovered to have a condition...

2009-09-17T17:27:24.957-05:00

The woman was later discovered to have a condition known as "inebriation" and was hospitalized awaiting tests to see if she was mentally capable of standing trial for molesting a phone pole.