8 Random Things About Me

I was tagged by Drowsey Monkey recently to participate in a meme that's been around in one form or another for quite a while now - write 8 random things about yourself.

Over the last 2 1/2 years I've done variations on this theme... unimportant things, weird things, smelly things - so it's quite likely you may have seen some of these answers before. But hey, what can I say - there's a limit to the number of interesting things about me. Who knew?

These 8 things tend to lean more to the "odd" category than "random," but that's what I feel like writing about today.

1. I can't use an extension cord if there's a knot in it
For reals. No matter how long the cord, no matter how messed up it is or how simple the knot is, I have to untangle it before I can plug it in.

2. Given a full plate of food, I'll always eat my veggies first
I think I just like to get them out of the way.

3. If I'm holding a clothes pin, I'll clip it to various parts of my head - such as my ears, my eyebrows or my chin
Must have something to do with tactile stimulation, but I actually enjoy the feeling of having a clothes pin clipped to my skin. This is probably the single thing that freaks my wife out the most.

4. I have 2 piercings in my left ear
Leftover from the 80's. The holes are still open and occasionally I'll put a small diamond stud in the bottom one when I'm doing a gig. I would have thought that the holes would have closed up after all these years but they really haven't. A good thing to remind your kids before they decide it's cool to put holes all over their faces.


5. I love braunschweiger and pickle sandwiches
Mmmm. Nothing says delicious like liverwurst!



6. The blinker in my car is a metronome to me
When sitting at an intersection with my blinker on, I HAVE to bang out a counter-rhythm on the steering wheel to the steady beat of the blinker. It's not optional.

7. According to my wife, my legs run like a dog when I'm sleeping
Hmmm, RLS or leftover habits from my previous life as a Labrador retriever?

8. I don't eat for the first time every day until noon
I'm just not hungry when I wake up in the morning. But once I get to the office, I have a cup of coffee first thing, followed by another one at 11:00. You could set your watch by it.

Feel free to post your own version of this one if you want. I'm not much of a tagger so if you want it... it's yours!

Unimportant? I guess that depends on who you ask.

One of my bestest blogger friends, Jess - from Riley's Ramblings - just tagged me for a meme where I'm supposed to list Six Unimportant Things about myself.

First of all, let me just say that I'd be hardpressed to find any unimportant things about myself - let alone six. But I'll give it my best shot.

But only because I adore Jess and she totally cracks me up. In fact, I am so infatuated with her writing that I preordered her new novel Driving Sideways 6 full months before it was even due to be released. Now it's FINALLY going to be published on May 20th.

All I can say is, IT'S ABOUT FRIGGEN TIME! (tap tap tap)

Anyway, if you haven't met Jess yet go here now. You'll be glad you did.

And now on to the memege.

I present to you Six Unimportant Things About Jeff:

1. I've worked in this same office with these same 4 people for 12 years now.

We've had others come and go, but these folks have been here with me since day 1 and are like my 2nd family. I've never worked at a place where everyone gets along as well as we do. It sounds corny, but they actually make it fun to go to work everyday. Now that I think about it, I suppose that's probably not so unimportant after all.

One thing you should know though, this cleaning woman got it all wrong. You can tell that by the evidence of the Windex we keep at the ready. Of course that's the same bottle we bought 12 years ago, but still.

2. I drive a 17 year-old Geo Prism back and forth to work every day.


The problem is, even at 115,000 miles, the damn thing still runs perfectly, AND gets over 30 mpg. And because I won't replace it until it dies a natural death, I'm likely to still be driving this old shoebox for another 17 years. But when I do finally need to replace it, I'll have all this excellent advice from you guys. Thanks everyone!

3. I eat a bowl of this cereal with no added sugar every night before bed. It satisfies my munchie craving and isn't as bad as the crap I would be ingesting if I wasn't interested in living past 50.

Hmm, maybe this entry doesn't fit this meme. I mean come on... Special K? It doesn't get any more important than that.

4. I set my cellphone ringtone to sound like an old fashioned regular telephone. In a world where everyone else's phones are playing Broadway musicals and hip hop diatribes, my ordinary ringtone has actually become a novelty.

5. Whereas most normal people have fun music stations tuned in on their radios, I only listen to public radio. This severely limits my "hipness" factor in that I haven't heard any new music in like 10 years. People often think just because I'm a musician, they can come to me for advice on who's hot in the music industry. They're wrong.

6. My reputation in Great Briton is mud because of this man. First he falsely accused me of stealing Huddersfield's mutant duck, and now he's accusing me of having a tawdry extramarital affair based off of an innocent picture taken totally out of context.

Normally this would be deemed very important news, but because it's all based off a bunch of lies, I'm going to shut down this rumor mill right here and now - and claim it UNIMPORTANT!

* * * * *

It's VERY important that you go to humor-blogs.com

Two-for-one on memes - This week only!

Aye Carumba!

I think Dan has finally taken one step too far into the depths of the mundane by tagging me for what may be considered the least inspired meme of all time. According to the rules, we are supposed to show a screen capture of our computer's desktop.

{{{Yawn}}}

Stay with me here...

Dan selected me because, he claims, "I know he’s always up for a good meme." In other words, Dan thinks I'm a meme whore. Which is true.

But only this week because I'm busy with other much more pressing matters - like preparing for my 2-year anniversary next week. So, that being said, I will begrudgingly comply and show you my none-too-exciting desktop.

(click to enlarge)

Besides the large picture of my new baby in the middle, my desktop is basically arranged into the following 4 quadrants:
Upper left - My kind of "catch all" of most used icons
Lower left - Microsoft apps and internet browser icons
Upper right - Work specific system connections
Lower right - Mulitmedia apps for music and video

Holy crap, that's 2 memes in one week! I think I need an intervention.

p.s. Made you yawn up above, didn't I?

Bathroom Meme

I say if you're gonna do a meme, you might as well go all the way and reveal more than anybody ever wanted to know about you.

And what could be more personal than your bathroom habits? Exactly.

So here is a list of choices we all make on what types of personal care products and habits we choose on a daily basis. Until I put this together, I never realized just how many choices there are. How lucky for you.

1. Conditioner y/n?
No, shampoo is good enough for me. With the lack of locks on my melon, I have neither the need nor the desire to "rinse and repeat".

2. Razor - manual, electric?
I'm not sure if my razor is manual, electric or some kind of hybrid, but I use the Gillette M3Power "vibrating" razor. My sister-in-law gave me one of these a few years back as a Christmas present and I've been a huge fan ever since. This razor shaves super close and just glides right over your face. But DAMN - these suckers are expensive!

3. Shaving cream - foam, gel?
Since I usually shave every day it doesn't take much to mow my lawn - but if I had to choose, I guess I would pick gel because it does seem to lubricate better than foam.

4. After shave - y/n, brand?
When I was much younger I used to use after shave, but more as a cologne than a moisturizer. But I don't have a problem with dry or chaffed skin so I'd rather not spend money on something extra I don't need.

5. Toothbrush - regular or electric?
Just a regular old-fashioned toothbrush kind of guy. Although I probably should take my dentist's advice and replace it more than once a year. According to him "the bristles should be standing up and firm and not all smushed down blah blah blah..." Whatever. What does he know anyway?

6. Toothpaste - regular or gel, whitening etc?
I don't have much of a preference here. But if I had to choose I suppose it would be a minty-flavored gel. We're using a citrus type of toothpaste right now and even though I'm sure it does the job, it doesn't make me feel minty fresh afterwards.

7. Floss - y/n, flavored, thick/thin, waxed?
Yes and no. I floss, but not consistently. But when I do it needs to be the really thin stuff since my back teeth are very close together. And if I break off a piece between my teeth I only have about 5 seconds before I go insane.

8. Mouthwash - y/n, brand?
No, I've never been a mouthwash kind of guy. And that disgusting commercial where that guy swooshes his hot spitty mouthwash around in his mouth for 10 minutes doesn't help much either.

9. Toilet paper - over or under?
We definitely an "over the top" kind of family. In more ways than one.

10. Magazines?
Yes, we have a lavatory library. But I hate it when the supply runs low and you have to keep reading the same magazines over and over again, to the point of where you eventually end up reading about the side effects of Celebrex.

11. Hair dryer or towel dry?
It depends. When I first get my hair cut, I just towel dry it briefly and comb it. But once it gets a bit longer I blow dry it to help poof it up. Ok, this is officially the point where I now know this meme was a bad idea.

12. Hair "products" - moose, gel, hairspray, etc?
Just a light spritz of hairspray is all I use to keep my luscious remaining locks in place. And I prefer a non-aerosol pump.

13. Cologne or body spray - y/n, brand?
No. I stopped wearing cologne shortly after I met my wife and vowed my undying love for her forever. I'm not sure how that's related but I'm guessing it had to do with the fact that I wasn't on the prowl anymore so I didn't need to wear bait. On a related note however, if any of you have teenage boys, I hope for your sake they don't find out about Axe, or any of the other popular body sprays. My wife and I have had to intervene to let them know that they don't need to spray on a whole can at once when a half a can will get the job done just fine. Ugh.

14. Deodorant - Spray, roll-on, stick (gel or white), scented etc?
Mildly-scented (fresh) gel stick.

15. Sink and shower soap - liquid, bar, bodywash, etc?
Sink: Liquid hand soap.
Shower: Everything on the market, but like the story says - I prefer the bar.

16. Sink cup - disposable Dixie type, regular?
We don't actually have a cup in our bathroom because nobody in our family would even dream about using a "community" cup, and the Dixie cup thing is too much of a hassle to keep stocked - so we either go without or bring one in from the kitchen.

Whew! Way more information than you ever needed to know. And this is only the basic stuff. I didn't even want to attempt to add questions for women about makeup, lotions and *ahem* "feminine care" choices. I may be interested in your personal habits - but not THAT interested.

So feel free to steal this and share it on your own blog (and women can add whatever girlie crap they want). For some stupid reason I think it would be fun.



But I'm guessing Grundir would have a different opinion.

7 Random Facts About Me

Because I'm feeling kinda memie, here's my response to a tag from Gale to list 7 random things about myself. Ready... go!

1. I don't know if there is an actual "syndrome" or if it's just a label for kicky people, but according to my wife I officially have some form of RLS. I would categorize it more as "constantly moving my legs day or night and in fact I'm even doing it right now syndrome" - but that doesn't make for a very good acronym.

2. I can't stand bologna by itself, but I love it on a sandwich with pickles and mayo. The same thing applies to braunschweiger as long as I don't overanalyze the fact that it looks and smells like cat food to me.

3. I've got floaters big time. No, not in the toilet - in my eyes. Ironically, the condition I am afflicted with (known as posterior vitreous detachment) affects my vitreous humor, even though I find nothing funny about it. Especially since it resulted in laser surgery a few years ago to reattach my retina.

4. I also have tinnitus from years of playing rock and roll music, but I've learned to ignore it. I've tried using that approach for my alarm clock in the morning but unfortunately it doesn't work.

5. I grew 6" in the summer between my 9th and 10th grade. At night I would wake up screaming with severe cramps in my calves and my mom would have to come in my room and massage them. What I'm most impressed with is that she would let me have cows in my room in the first place.

6. I never had a girlfriend in highschool. I was more of a loner than a loser, although I was never comfortable with there only being a one-letter separation between the two.

7. These are the only 6 random things about me. Everything else in my life has been neatly categorized and put in labeled filing cabinets. In fact, if you look in the drawer called "Random Facts" you'll find a folder with these 6 items.

Tributes and Hobbies

This is an oddly-combined post but I wanted to mention two things today, so I'm going to include them both even though they have nothing in common whatsoever.

First thing...

If you happen to pay attention to my "Please Remember" box in my sidebar, you'll notice that our American fatalities have recently exceeded 3500. Being as it has only been a little over 5 months since I wrote this post about reaching the 3000 mark, I just wanted to ask everyone to please remember once again. Losing an average of 100 soldiers a month is terribly sad and the sacrifices these brave men and women have made for us should not go unnoticed.

In addition, our fallen soldiers are not the only ones who have suffered or are suffering. I've been seeing a lot of interviews lately on the subject of post-traumatic stress disorder and the inability of our healthcare system to help veterans who are returning from war. Facilities are overbooked and understaffed and the lag times until treatment programs are available are increasing every day.

One of my blogfriends Deborah, from Weathering Migraine Storms, has just written this heart-wrenching post about what her son Philip is going through since he came home. I encourage you to stop by and give everyone in Deborah's family your support.

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And secondly, on a much lighter note...

... as promised last week in my Show Us Your Hobby! post, today is the day to Show You Their Hobbies! That's right folks, as a reward for humoring me and responding to my call to show us your... whatevers, here is a link-parade of everyone who played along.


1. Linda from Letters From Third Grade shows us some of her mad photography skilz in this post. She clearly has an eye for subject matter, unlike me who wouldn't be able capture a Kodak moment if I had a net.



2. Ashley from One Tall Momma wrote this tounge-in-cheek post about her favorite hobby. I won't give it away here but let's just say it includes tongues and cheeks.

3. Heather from Cool Zebras wrote this post about a hugely popular hobby these days - scrapbooking! Much better than the pictures of my youth I have mashed together in shoeboxes in my closet.

4. Gale from This Was Me wrote this and this about a very cool restoration project she and her husband are working on. I admire their desire to want to spend hours and hours sanding something, because anyone who has read this blog over the last year and a half knows how I feel about sanding anything!

5. And finally my mom, who doesn't have a blog but wrote the comment of the week in response to my story when she said, "My hobby is waiting on your Dad!!!!!"

Huh, if only that were a joke.

Show Us Your Hobby!

Since I'm designating next week as "Show Us Your Hobby" week, it only makes sense that I should be the one to get the ball rolling. If you'd like to participate, simply write a post next week about your favorite hobby or hobbies and send me the link. Then, at the end of next week I'll put them all together in another post so we can all share in the fun.

Who said I wasn't a party animal.

Anyway, here's my story. And I'm sticking to it.

You can tell where you are in life by the magazines you read and the hobbies that you have. For example, I used to read Playb Rolling Stone and Guitar Player magazine, and now I read Family Handyman.

And - because of that, one of my favorite hobbies is building things from Family Handyman.

In general, I'm pretty good with construction lumber and wood screws, but sometimes it takes me a few tries before I get things right.

It all started when we first bought this house - 10 or so years ago. My wife wanted an arbor so I built this one (look carefully, you can see it amongst the vines).


Then a few years later I built this one on the other side of our house.


And finally last summer I built this one in the back yard. This is a good example of one I didn't get right the first time. Currently I'm in the process of rebuilding the swing seat because this one ended up warping horribly.

For years I thought Arbor Day was the day to build a new arbor.

About the time my daughter was in Kindergarten I built this little bench from the magazine so she would have a place to sit and wait for the bus.


But of everything I've built so far, I think I'm most proud of this potting bench.

Not only does it have a garden hose caddy on the side, but it also has a hidden soil bin and working sink with running water.


However, this too needed refurbishing when the bottom ended up rotting out because I didn't raise the base high enough off the ground. But after last week, it's now redesigned and better than new!

And there you have it. What I do in the tiny bit of spare time that I have.

So, I've showed you mine - now you show us yours!

The Blogger Beat

Last week I participated in the very popular Interview Meme.

Unlike most memes, where you simply write things about yourself and you're done, this meme allows other bloggers to let you ask them questions - which causes a chain-letter-like distribution effect that keeps this sucker going and going and going.

The fact is, I really enjoyed playing this one, and was fortunate enough to eventually have 8 fellow bloggers ask for my 5 questions. And - since I put them together, I thought it would be fun for everyone to see what I asked them and how they answered.

So, simply click on their pictures below and you will be taken directly to their Q&A posts.

Oh, and if you missed out on having me ask you 5 questions, I'm afraid I'm going to have to close the door on this one. Unfortunately, that's the consequences of reading a blogger with an attention span as short as mine.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, the interviews. Enjoy!







Mooselet - Mooselet Musings







Gale - This Was Me







Wendy - Fire on the Poop Deck






Carla - Blah Blah Blog-o-licious








Badoozie - A Big Doozie







Cleo - Random Musings by Cleo






Deborah - Weathering Migraine Storms








Azlynne - Life After Work: a jobless bum & lovin' it!

Morning Me

I feel like Mr. Karl and Dave copycat guy.

A few weeks ago Karl and Dave wrote about their beliefs and a few days later I wrote my version of it.

Then the other day, Karl and Dave again participated in tandem in a "show us your morning face" challenge.

So what am I doing today?

Oh well, no one ever said you had to be original to blog. And since this is all in good fun anyway - I'll be a good sport and show you my morning face. However, I'm warning you...

... it ain't pretty!

The one thing I'm going to do however that the rest of the participants aren't doing - is show you what I looked like just a mere 30 minutes later - after a shave, shower and grooming.



No, this isn't some kind of backpedal. I simply wanted to cleanse you of that first picture so you can finish your breakfast.

Now, go on and have a nice day!

The Interview - by Karl

There's a fun new fad going around right now where you ask someone to interview you and they send you 5 questions to answer. Then, after you post your answers, your readers get to ask you to interview them and they answer your questions - and on and on.

I jumped in when Karl posted his interview that he got from Hilly who got hers from some guy in Seattle, but then that's really none of our business now is it. Anyway, he sent me these five questions. Thanks Karl!

Follow the instructions at the end if you would like to play with me.

Er, you know what I mean.

1. What is the most outrageous story you can recall regarding your courier days?
Don't know about "outrageous" so much but I did get to deliver to some pretty cool places. For example, the entrance to the Federal Reserve Building is right in the middle of downtown Minneapolis, yet it has a door that's hidden from the street. Once you enter through a concrete tunnel there are a series of automatic doors that open up to let you in. It's just like the beginning sequence of Get Smart!

2. What are the worst things about having a child that drives?
Believe it or not, at first it was the fact that he drove too slow. Then he tended to hug the right shoulder because he was nervous about oncoming traffic. Then he lost his wallet - TWICE - and we never found the right time to get him back to the DMV to reapply for a new one. Then we took it away because his grades were slipping. So essentially your question doesn't apply to him since he currently doesn't drive at all.

3. Where would you most like to travel?
For some reason I have a strong desire to travel to Scandinavia - probably because of my ancestry. But I think the fjords would be gorgeous and the rich Nordic history would be amazing to learn about.

4. What shows on TV are you embarrassed to admit you watch?
Embarrassed in an understatement for the fact that I often watch CSI Miami. But only because of the entertainment value of being able to make fun of it during the whole show. I think a very successful drinking game could center around how many times Horatio said the word "Eric."

5. Describe the condition of your garage.
That's a better question than you know. Physically, my garage is falling apart. For some stupid reason, the person who built it didn't put a row of cinder blocks down first, so my walls are attached to the footer at ground level and have been wicking up moisture for years now. The bottom 18" or so of my garage is literally rotting away. Emotionally, my garage is a mess.

DIRECTIONS FOR THE INTERVIEW MEME

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

4 things meme

After getting back from 6 days of vacation on Tuesday, I had to work out of town the next 3 days on business. Today is the first day I've had to relax but now I'm sitting here with neck pain that feels nothing short of a severe case of whiplash.

Anyway, being as how I've been away from the ol' homestead for days, I now have a honey-do list I need to attend to.

So - in the meantime, here's a little meme-age to fill in the cracks.

FOUR THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

Four movies you would watch over and over:
I personally have a hard time watching any movie more than once, but here are four movies I really enjoyed over time.
1. Primal Fear
2. Batman Returns
3. Most Monty Python work
4. Casino Royal and most James Bond movies

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. A cook at several restaurants in Duluth. During my teen years I worked in at least 6 different restaurants and was everything from dishwasher to head broiler cook.
2. Assembly line worker at a mylar balloon factory. It was my job to adhere the paper accordion arms and legs on the balloons as they whizzed by me on the conveyor belt a high speed. Very "I Love Lucy." The funny thing was - I really enjoyed that stupid job!


3. A courier in the Twin Cities. This involved driving a van around the cities picking up and dropping off deliveries for 8 hours a day. Not my first choice for employment.
4. Operator of the kiddie rides at the Duluth Zoo. I was 13, earned $.50/hr and made enough money over the summer so I could buy a bike and move up to a higher paying job making $1.00/hr at a small cafe washing dishes and bussing tables.

Four TV shows you like to watch:
Note: My viewing window is limited to 9:00 p.m. or later because that's the first opportunity I have to watch TV. And no, I don't subscribe to TIVO.
1. Daily Show with Jon Stewart
2. Without a Trace
3. Boston Legal
4. Raines (the new Jeff Goldblum show)

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Key West, FL
2. Durango, CO
3. San Diego, CA
4. The "Inside Passage" cruise - Alaska

Four Places you have lived:
1. Duluth. Born and raised there and also lived there during our first year of marriage.
2. In about 10,000 motels, hotels and "band houses" while I was on the road for 10 years. Only in the last few years were we successful enough to afford our own private rooms and not have to share.
3. On Lake Calhoon in Minneapolis. A truly beautiful place to hang out.
4. St. Cloud. Where I currently live but will probably move away from when our last child moves out - in only 7 1/2 years. But who's counting.

Four of your favorite foods:
1. Frosted Mini Wheats
2. Steak and mushrooms
3. Big ol' homemade hamburgers with all the fixins
4. Spaghetti with meat sauce and mushrooms


Four places you would like to be:
1. Colorado
2. Australia
3. Scuba diving in the Florida keys
4. In a large motorhome bus with an unlimited budget and no place to go and no time limit to get there.

Real Dads

One of the privileges of writing a blog is that you have total control to write only flattering things about yourself if you so desire. However, when someone tags you to write a post about things that show your human side, you have no choice but to comply. I think there's some kind of law about that.


That being said - Jenny has tagged me to help represent the male side of a popular meme that's circling the planet at warp speed about things "real" moms do that show their "real" feelings toward motherhood. So, because I'm a good little soldier, here's my contribution about Real Dads...

A real dad... secretly cringes at the thought of spending a weekend at a mosquito-infested boy scout camp year after year.

A real dad... doesn't let his 14 year-old ride in cars driven by 16 year-old friends even though it makes him (the dad) extremely "unpopular."

A real dad... sometimes doesn't suggest taking his kids to out of town places on weekends (that he knows the kids would enjoy) because he's too tired and would rather just hang out around the house doing things for himself instead.

A real dad... is scared to death to let his daughter take a cross-country roadtrip with a friend and her parents on vacation.

A real dad... can sometimes be a sensible mom's worst nightmare. Especially on nights when the sensible mom isn't home and he doesn't feel like cooking - so he buys party pizzas and Doritos instead of preparing a nutritious dinner.



I won't tag anyone specifically, but I definitely encourage you other dads to play along.

For real.

Five jobs I'd least like to have

I'm reasonably certain that people are going to leave some comments where I say "Yikes, that one is WAY worse!" But I've had some pretty crappy jobs in my day. Peeling potatoes as a prep cook in a hot kitchen for 4 hours at a time comes to mind as one I could have done without.

However, I've often looked at other people's jobs and thought to myself how much I wouldn't want to do them. Here are 5 that stick out as jobs I would least like to have.

5. Roofer - First of all, the only building you'll see me on top of is the kind with a flat roof and a guard rail around it. I don't do 45° slopes. Second of all, imagine the misery of laying tar paper and shingles on a 90° day. Yuk!

4. Custodian for a cinema complex or sports stadium - This is a toss up for which is worse. On one hand the cinema has all those cloth seats and carpeting full of... whatever (one word of caution... do NOT enter a theater when the lights are on - you may never go to a movie again). On the other hand, the sports stadium is 1000x bigger and you'd have to navigate all those steep steps like some kind of mountain goat. I don't even like to clean my car!

3. Lineman for the county - When are these guys needed the most? When everyone else is hunkered down all cozy and warm in the house during a violent wind or ice storm. And of course getting the power back on is always an emergency of the highest degree. My hat goes off to these people - but it's definitely not for me thank you.

2. President of the United States - Not that this is a job I would ever have to worry about. But seriously, what kind of personality would you have to have to want to be the President? Well, first of all you'd have to have an ego the size of Texas. Then you'd have to believe that every decision you make is the absolutely right decision no matter what the rest of the world thinks. Then you'd have to be able to sleep at night no matter how adversely your decisions affect innocent people all over the planet. In other words, you would have to be pretty much nuts.

And the #1 job I would least like to have...

Medical collections agent - Every day I drive to work and pass by a place that has a sign out front that reads "Medical Collection Agents Wanted." No kidding - you think? I can't imagine a more thankless job. How fun would it be to have to call people all day every day and demand they pay up for the cancer treatment or heart attack they just endured? And to make matters worse, by design this job is tied to incentive. The less you collect, the less you make. I guess all we can hope for is that someday our healthcare system will evolve to a point where this job can be eliminated. Yeah I know, good luck with that.

Well, there is one more job I've overlooked. This one may trump all the ones I've listed above. Yeah, I know that's an old one, but I thought I'd share it for the sake of those who haven't seen it yet. :-)

So obviously I'm interested in your take. What is the worst job you've ever had or would NOT want to have?

Blogs that make you go "Hmmm"

I think my star is rising!

Just last week I was featured on the front page of our local newspaper, then the next day some guy recognized me in the bathroom - and now today I have been honored by Emma with a "Thinking Blogger" award!

Could I possibly be ANY more famous?!!!

Thank you Emma. I'm truly flattered!

According to the guidelines for this most prestigious honor, Emma considers my blog to be one of five that cause her to think, most likely "what am I doing reading THIS?"... but still "think" nonetheless.

Now, in order for me to accept this award, I must also list 5 bloggers who cause me to think. I'm not a big fan of limiting the list of blogs I read to any kind of "favorites" because everyone I visit is one of my favorites - otherwise I wouldn't be there in the first place. But in this case, the requirement is pretty specific... blogs that make you "think."

And, even though I'm not entirely sure what that means - here are 5 blogs that often times cause me to ponder.

The winners of my "Thinking Blogger Award" are:

Savage Chickens - Doug makes me think about simple creativity. Every business day, Doug somehow manages to draw a chicken cartoon on a yellow sticky note that makes me chuckle. That's a lot easier said than done.

Words For My Enjoyment - Pauly makes me scratch my head because 90% of the time I can never figure out what the hell he's talking about. Pauly kind of lives in his own little world, albeit an entertaining world I must say. If you can follow it.

Mitch McDad's World - Mitch definitely makes me think about the "early years," when we were still having babies. He makes me think about these things because he very humorously DESCRIBES THEM IN DETAIL! If you ever want to read about placenta, or Lamaze class or post-pregnancy sex - then Mitch McDad's World is the place for you.

Mama Drama - Jenny is one of 5 hilarious women from Mama Drama who makes me think about how fun it would be to drive down to Houston, tour her crazy museum-like house and have dinner with her and her insane husband Victor (who needs a blog of his own by the way). Jenny is just the right kind of "tilted" for my taste.

Blogography - Dave frequently makes me think about a lot of things. Just the other day, for instance, I was driving in the passing lane of the interstate for no reason and suddenly one of Dave's many rants about idiots who drive in the left lane popped into my head, and I immediately moved over to the right. Dave is very enlightening that way.

So, congratulations winners! You may claim your badge in my sidebar.

And there you are, five blogs that I encourage you to visit. Now... I'm going to go take a nap.

I've had to think way too hard about this.

20 Questions

It's a rare quiet weekend and there's not much going on right now, so I thought I'd submit yet another telling meme from the ever popular Get To Know Your Blogger series. This one's called...

20 Questions

1. When you buy a greetings card are the words or the picture more important to you?
Neither. It's how Ziggy-less it is.

2. What's your favorite kind of cake?
Strawberry shortcake. I think my mom used to be disappointed in my choice for a birthday cake when I was little because this is the only kind of cake I ever wanted. I think she secretly hoped I would choose chocolate - at least once!

3. Do you ever make gifts for people, if so what, or do you buy them?
I stopped making those flocked pinecone trees in 6th grade. I found out people were using them as kindling. But my wife makes these cool calendars filled in with everyone's birthdays and anniversaries for the entire year, and then creates a picture college of the people associated with each month.

4. What's your favorite holiday - i.e. Christmas?
Probably Thanksgiving. I love the long weekend, the food, the family and the nap. Plus, you don't have to buy anybody anything.

5. Are you going on holiday this year? If so, where?
Nothing on the books yet for this year, but we are getting the itch to head back to Florida in the near future so we're starting to talk about that.

6. What was the best party you've ever been to?
New Year's Eve 1982, on the shore of Iwo Jima. I was playing in a USO tour at the time and the Marines were having a huge party on the beach. We all drank "embalming fluid" (which is a mix of Sake and about 5 other things) and partied all night. Everyone was VERY quiet the next day.

7. If you are married, describe your wedding. If not, what would your ideal wedding be like?
We had a tiny wedding in comparison to many we've attended - only about 50 people. Our criteria for invitation was simple - our guests could only be people we could comfortable say "I love you" to.

We had intended on having an outdoor reception on top of a hill overlooking the beautiful Lake of the Isles in Minneapolis, but instead it poured the entire day of our wedding. So, we simply moved it to the party room of our apartment complex and had a great time all the same. Then, because there was a piano in the room, I ended up playing music for the reception for awhile as well. It was a great day and a great start to a great marriage.

8. What's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to you?
The day after I met my wife, she and I met at a restaurant at "The Landing" in downtown St. Louis for lunch. But instead of eating our lunch, we just sat there and stared at each other. Eventually the waitress came over and asked us if there was anything wrong with our food. We just laughed and told her everything was perfect.

9. What's your favorite romantic song?
James Taylor - You've Got a Friend. The first love song I ever sang to my wife.

10. Favorite heartbreak song?
Phil Collins - If Leaving Me Is Easy. The song I wore out the first time I was dumped.

11. Which celebrity would you like a dream date with?
Forget celebrity, I'd just like a dream date with my wife! That would include anything that contains the words: hotel, warm, beach, and no kids.

12. Which female celebrity do you find beautiful?
Jessica Alba. I refuse to elaborate on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.

13. Which male celebrity do you think is attractive?
Oh for pete's sake - do I HAVE to answer all of these? Ok... uh, George Clooney has an "interesting" look to him.

Er, let's just say the he ages gracefully.

14. Describe the kind of underwear you normally wear.
I think this question will be more interesting for the ladies. But for me... sorry nothing exciting here, just plain old everyday tighty-whities. One big milestone though - I've finally gotten to the point where my mom isn't buying them for me anymore!

15. If you could be in a television sit-com, which would you choose?
The Office. Totally the funniest thing I've had the chance to see these days.

16. Which character would you like to be?

Jim Halpert. He's my kinda snarky.

17. What are your favorite boy and girl names?
I'm pretty sure expecting parents are the only people who think about baby names, and I am sooo far beyond being a new parent that I can't even comprehend this question.

18. What's your supermarket of choice?
Any place where I know where the food is. I hate going to new grocery stores and having to wander around looking for everything. This makes an already painful experience last at least twice as long.

19. What is your best character trait?
Probably that I rarely get upset about anything. Uh, except new grocery stores apparently.

20. What is your worst habit?
Well, it used to be my public gum-chomping, but now I've scaled that back to just private gum-chomping. But it's probably still my worst habit.

Show Me the Money

Jenny, over at Mama Drama, posted a link to this web site that uses some mysterious calculation to somehow determine a blog's "worth" in terms of dollars.

So, like any curious blogger, I entered my blog name to see what it was worth. Here's what it returned:
Woo-hoo!!!

Ok, granted it's not the $2.9 million that Dooce is worth (don't ask, I don't get it either), but it's almost exactly enough to get me a shiny new Prius!

So - sorry folks, it's been fun and all - but at this price I'm going to have to take the money and run. Oh don't worry, I can always start up another blog later. Maybe I'll call it View From The Front Seat Of My New Prius.


Now, if someone could kindly tell me how I cash this blog in, I'll be on my way. Thanks.

*ahem*... Anyone?... Anyone?... Hello?

10 Not So Favorite Things About Me

Uh oh. I appear to have picked something up from the blogsphere.

Jennine gave it to me and she got it from Heather.

I'm talking about a new Meme to reveal 10 Things You Hate About Yourself. Ok, I'll play. But I'll have to modify it a bit since I don't actually "hate" anything about myself per se. So, in the spirit of fair play, here are

10 Not So Favorite Things About Me

In no particular order...

1. I have a hard time expressing my humor in writing.
I always feel like I'm a lot funnier in person than I am on my blog. When I'm around people, it's easy for me to yuk it up and funny things seem to fly out of mouth. But for whatever reason, I can't seem to push this humor out the ends of my fingertips and onto my keyboard - at least not to my satisfaction.

2. I'm not intimidating at all.
Seriously. If I ever had to try to act like a badass to defend myself against a real badass, I'm pretty sure my opponent would do a spit-take with laughter. "Pffft... Ooh, don't hurt me!" Which leads me to #3.

3. I'm not confident in my ability to defend myself.
Since I've never actually been in a real fight with anyone (not counting the time a guy took a swing at me but was so drunk he missed) I'm not sure how I would do. I've always imagined I would kick some serious butt, but without any actual experience all I can do is speculate.

So, the message to all is: Don't mess with me. I might kick your ass. Or I might not. Do you feel lucky? Huh? Punk?

4. My big toes frequently hurt.
I have no idea why, but for some stupid reason I have trouble with my big toes getting sore. About every few months the sides of them get tender and irritated and then I have to soak them for a few days and then they're all better. I suppose I could have a foot person take a look sometime, but that would be inconvenient. Apparently more inconvenient than having to soak your feet.

5. I never got the chance to "make it" in the music business.
This isn't necessary anything I dislike about myself but more of a disappointment in the music business itself. Considering how talented Livingston Fury was, I have cringed way too many times over the years at how so many crap bands have made it big, while we were left to simply die on the vine.

6. I suck at math.
For some reason, my brain has never been able to process numbers very effectively. It's especially apparent when you see me using my fingers to calculate such things as my server's tip at the restaurant.

And until the last few years, I've always been able to get away with sucking at math. It was kind of my problem and nobody else was affected by it. But now my kids are coming to me for help with their homework and I have to concede and apologize that I can't help them. I hate that. However, to my credit - they ARE coming to me with high-school algebra and geometry problems so I try not to feel too bad. I mean, when was the last time YOU had to calculate the area of a trapezoid?

7. I was never given the last 1/3 octave of my vocal range.
This is just one of those "I wish I had" kind of complaints. When God was handing out voices to people like Tony Lewis and John Waite he must have gave away all the high ones, because by the time I came around all I got was a baritone.

I really shouldn't complain. I have an excellent voice and know how to use it well. I've also learned to choose songs that fit my vocal range, so it never really shows that I have any limitations. I just wish I had more options.

8. I have a wussy back.
Probably from years of shlepping band gear. But lately it's been bothering me more frequently - and for less reasons. It seems all I have to do now is lift a few heavy things and the next day I'm feeling it. I've been seeing a chiropractor but not on a regular basis - more like after it's too late, which of course is NOT the recommended program. As a matter of fact, my back is hurting me right now. Joy.

9. I was never able to finish my degree.
When we first got married I went to a state college and received my 2-year Associate degree in computer programming with no problem. As a matter of fact, I maintained a 4.0 GPA and was honored as Student of the Year. Then, 6 years later I went back to college with a continuing ed program to obtain my BA. For the next 2 years I spent nearly every night studying and working my ass off to complete the program requirements - achieving a 4.0 GPA again.

So why didn't I graduate?

That's a good question. I blame the school. You see the program was designed for working adults who couldn't fit into a regular college schedule. The only problem, however, was that they only provided enough classes to complete the requirements of the major - nothing else. So, after two painful years of bustin my butt to get my BA, I completed the program but was left with 4 elective classes short of a diploma. Oh, I had plenty of extra elective credits on my transcript to meet the total requirements - this school just wouldn't take them! And guess what - nobody offers a continuing ed college program to simply pick up a few spare electives. So here I sit today - 4 classes short of a 4-year degree and no good way to wrap it up.

Wow, that was a long answer. Don't worry, the last one is going to be very short. Or maybe I should say thin.

10. My hair.
Nuff said.

Morning Routine Meme

You KNOW a blogger is too busy when two memes show up within two weeks! But right now I barely have enough time so sleep - which of course only makes it all the more difficult to get my engine started in the morning.

Therefore, this meme I stole from Jennine seems ironically appropriate:

Morning Routine Meme

1. What do you typically have for breakfast? And what about on those mornings when you're being bad? I don't eat breakfast. For whatever reason, food doesn't appeal to me in the morning.

However, I do have one vice - I can be easily lured to the dark side by the evil smell of bacon. But as you know, my sweet darling wife *cough* food nazi won't allow it, which only leaves me wanting the delicious crunchy goodness even more. In fact, sometimes I feel just like that poor dog from the Beggin' Strips commercial...

I smell bacon! Bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon! What's in the bag?! I can't read!!!

Don't laugh - I'd probably eat one of those if I found it on the floor.

2. What is your favorite cereal? My favorite cereal is another food I can't eat - Frosted Mini Wheats.

All American, sugar or cinnamon, Frosted Mini Wheats! (sorry, had a flashback there).

One cereal I am allowed to eat however are the Special K low carb 9 gram flakes. Mmmm.
Funny thing though is I've come to enjoy them. Much the same way a prisoner of war comes to enjoy a piece of bread.


3. Do you wait patiently for the cereal prize to tumble out of the box or do you start digging the moment the box is opened? Sorry. Flakes don't come with prizes.

4. What time is your alarm clock set for? When do you actually get out of bed?
My alarm beeps the first time at 5:45 AM. Then I hit it for two 10-minute snooze cycles until I finally flop out of bed at 6:05-ish for our morning walk.

5. Do you have any tips or tricks for saving time or preventing stress in the mornings?
Yes. For preventing stress - go for a one-hour walk alone with your spouse before the kids get up. It's a great way to start your day and a perfect time to "catch up" on the latest gossip and/or horror stories from the kids' teachers.

For saving time - Set all kids' clocks ahead 30 minutes when they're not looking. They'll get up early enough to be on time for breakfast and won't be alert enough to know the difference.

Just don't let them see this tip.

Three Things Meme

From the Memes-R-Us files:
(note - this post will not be adorned with my typical array of pictures and clip-art because Blogger is a piece of crap.)

Three Things About Me

Three things that scare me:
1. High edges (DEATHLY afraid to walk near or look over an unprotected edge)
2. Old lunch meat
3. Extremists

Three people that make me laugh:
1. John Stewart (as well as everyone else in his staff - including Stephen Colbert)
2. Conan O'Brien - especially his Emmys intro video. That totally cracked me up.
3. Donald Rumsfeld. He's a standup comedian and he doesn't even know it!

Three things I hate the most:
1. Ignorance
2. Smart-ass teenagers (oh the hypocrisy)
3. Slow and grid-locked traffic

Three things I don't understand:
1. Infinity and infinite division. I just can't wrap my brain around a concept where something never ends - kind of like Survivor.
2. Murder
3. Aces on Bridge

Three things I'm doing right now:
1. Working on new songs for my duet (see Acoustics of Jeff & Pete)
2. Sanding my steps (or so I would have my wife believe)
3. Trying to finish this stupid meme

Three things I want to do before I die I'm old ("before I die" sounds too morbid):
1. Travel travel travel
2. Scuba dive in exotic places (that don't contain stingrays or hungry sharks)
3. Buy and drive a fully-loaded touring motorcycle around the United States with my wife at a really relaxed pace (see answer 1).

Three things I can do:
1. Entertain musically (or so I've been told)
2. Snowboard. I learned this last year and am quite proud of myself thank you. For a good laugh see this, this and this.
3. Make really good omelets

Three ways to describe my personality:
1. Easy going
2. Non-judgmental
3. Fun!

Three things I can't do:
1. Spell the words inconvenient, restaurant, definitely, incredible, guarantee or occurrence
2. Swim very well. I can get by just fine, but have never become comfortable just "going for a swim"
3. Finish this stupid meme (I've been adding like one answer a day for over a week - plus, Blogger is NOT letting me upload pictures. ARRRG!)

Three people or things I think you should listen to:
1. Me - if you're my kids
2. Tom Waits
3. Jesus

Three people or things you should never listen to:
1. Anyone who says, "Does this taste funny to you?"
2. Ted Nugent in the front row
3. Apparently our president

Three things I'd like to learn:
1. How to solo on chromatic harmonica ala Stevie Wonder
2. The secrets to all the great magic tricks
3. How to edit and convert a large mpeg video clip to a compressed format that I can upload to YouTube or share via email

Three favorite foods:
1. Potato chips - although I don't can't eat them anymore
2. Steak and mushrooms
3. Hot apple pie à la mode

Three beverages I drink regularly:
1. Milk - and lots of it
2. Diet Pepsi or Diet Coke w/Lime
3. Water, but only if we're out of milk

Three shows I watched as a kid:
1. Captain Kangaroo
2. Partridge Family (David Cassidy was my hero)
3. Hogan's Heroes